Would you kick your kids out at 18 or let them stay as long as they want?

[Ursula14]

What’s your opinion on the meme that (white) British parents (in common with other North-Western European cultures like German, Scandinavian, Dutch etc and American, Canadian, Australian etc) kick out their children at age 18 and tell them to make their own life?

And that by contrast, Southern European/Eastern European cultures and Arab/Asian/African cultures seek to have their children live at home as long as possible?

Do you agree with this practice or not?

My kids will stay for as long as they like and I won’t charge rent, the same as my parents let me stay as long as I liked and didn’t charge me rent. I lived with them with my DH and DS on and off until I was 28 due to various circumstances! We’re Irish living in England

Mine can stay at home as long they want, as long as they make a financial contribution(once they have finished their education). I would encourage them to save, so that they can hopefully move out in future though.

I don't know anyone who "kicked their kids out" at 18 or any age.
Mine went to uni at 18 though.
They came back after uni, stayed a bit, left, came back and finally left. They will have a home here forever though if they need it.

It’s only on here that I have seen parents says they want their children to move out once they are 18.

No I won't kick my kids out at 18 - they are welcome to stay as long as they like.

I grew up in Canada. I don't know anyone who was kicked out, nor anyone who contributed to the household. Buying a home was a lot stricter (your deposit couldn't be borrowed and had to be 20% for example). Canadian homes are generally bigger so it wasn't an issue. Most people I knew hard saved, stayed at home, bought a house and then were house poor.

Encouraging 18-24 year olds to make independent lives for themselves is preferable to keeping them at home into their 30s imo.

I left home when I was 18. Within a week my bedroom had been repurposed and my stuff put in bags for me to pick up. There hadn't been a fight or anything. Just the idea that you leave home and then you've left home.

All my kids (x 3 and in their 30s now) left home and then one came back 5 years ago and doesn't appear to be moving. She travels a lot. Housing is hellishly expensive here. She gives me £350 pm for something or other. I didn't ask her for it. She decided this was a reasonable amount. It seems to be a reasonable amount.

We did have a strange conversation one day though. She was born in this house, literally, it was a homebirth, and she said how much more attached that made her to the house and we'd probably need to move out to a bungalow or a flat or something as we got older. Chances are that she's right.

As you can possibly tell, none of us care about money.

Very odd to look at a 'meme' for accuracy. They are exaggerated for effect.

No, I don't know any white Europeans who 'kicked' their kids out at 18. Lots leave at 18 for university - mostly funded or supported by their parents, come home in the holidays and often move back in with parents after graduation.

Saying 'what do you think of this practice?' is peculiar. What do I think of this factually inaccurate stereotype? I think it's bollocks.

Are you a journalist?

Absolutely not. Why would I spend 18 years raising my boys then kick them out to fend for themselves 🥹 if I had my way we’d all stay together forever (I know they will eventually fly the nest). When they are ready they can do as they wish, until then - their home is here with me.

No. They went to Uni and came back.. stayed as long as they needed/wanted whilst saving up and moved out when ready.
They both know they will always have a roof over their heads if required.

I have never heard of that before. It is so expensive to leave home. I still have 3 in mid 20s still at home and they have never paid rent they are saving for a deposit. I would never kick any of them out.

My daughter is possibly coming back at the age of 30, I don’t mind. I can’t see the point in her struggling and living hand to mouth after a relationship breakdown. We’ll build up her confidence and make sure she’s in a good place, she can stay as long as is needed. We have a garden room that she’s eyed up as her chill out sanctuary.

My children have a home with me as long as they need it. Not only them but anyone i love who needs a roof over their head can stay with me (and it has happened a couple of times)

I think it also depends on the size of your house, no? We don't have a large house and 4 adults is a squeeze.

That’s the best approach!

To the extent that it was ever true in the UK, it's decades out of date.

I thought the meme was that only Americans kick their kids out at 18 and everywhere else lets them live at home until they’re ready to move out.
Usually said by an American who’s mad at their parents 😂

Personally my British mother kicked me out at 16 and then promptly moved to a much smaller home so I could definitely never come back. And I wasn’t even a bad kid!

That must have been very hard. 16 is mad!

I wonder what Australians think about this

I wouldn’t agree with this practice if I thought it was a general practice, which I don’t.

It does happen in some families but that doesn’t make it normal!

They could stay as long as they need to in my family. If the family dynamics were half way well adjusted why not.

There would be expectations on how they treated the family home of course - everyone has to co-exist.

I don't know anyone who kicked their kids out at 18. My husband left home of his own accord at 18 because he wanted independence. He moved back when he decided to go to uni. We moved out of our respective parents for good when i was 23 and he was 29. My brother stayed well into his 30's.

Kick them out to go where?! Both mine are working, only one is currently willing to pay 60% of their income as rent, so I have one still at home.

I've always said to mine, that wherever I am they have a home.

Had to live in a homeless shelter for years. Her reasoning? Her own mother did it to her (at a time when rent was really cheap)

It's hard to say for anyone like me, as in whose children are younger. Because in principle, I'd say I'm happy for them to stay, but then you read posts about people with adult children who just leave the place a mess, never contribute anything, get angry at their mum for having friends round, and worse. I can say I hope mine wouldn't be like that, but who knows?
I'd like them to be moving forward, and if they had no additional needs, jobs were plentiful, and the world was how it was a generation or two ago (as in, any young adult could reasonably expect to have a job, house and partner), then I'd encourage that. But life isn't always that way.