What Amazon REALLY thinks of you

[Flamingbanana214]

I've just read a hilarious Threads about this.

Go to your amazon account > shopping preferences > scroll down > about you.

Mine is fairly tame "has a cat" "travels regularly" "regularly purchases skincare" etc but some of the screenshots on threads were fantastic -

"Has flat buttocks:
"Likes to buy hats for their dog"
"Had a relationship with La Toya Jackson"
"Has no friends"

What does your amazon think of you??

Ha! That made me laugh 😂

under hobbies it says I maintain a comprehensive skincare routine, engage in home fitness activities and like home entertainment streaming,

oh and only one brand, apparently I “like L’occitane for luxury body care”

Who doesn't like L'Occitane?! But do you buy it?

me too, I can't see any statements on Amazon.

To be fair, yes , but the cherry blossom shower gel only 😂

Me too 😞

'Repeatedly buys identical travel bags'. It sounds like I have some sort of dubious secret life smuggling exciting things, but actually it's just that I got the same hard cases for each of us once, and then the same Ryanair under-the-seat bags for us all as well.

"Probably has a Breville toaster"

I couldn't tell you what brand my toaster is!

Thinks I have a dog. I don’t have a dog!

Several of mine highlight that I have no life or hobbies because my life is currently my child’s hobbies, whims and desires:

“Actively promotes child literacy and reading”

“Consistently building children's educational library”

“Encourages imaginative play through dress-up activities”

“Supports child's creative development through art activities”

I did have to laugh at how wrong they got me with this one though:

“Maintains organized home environment”

The 'probably lives in...' bit made me laugh too!

Best I have is 'invests in premium chocolate snacks'.... I've bought a kit kat hamper box once a term for the teachers at school 😂

Mines boring (although quite accurate)
Reads a lot of fiction and likes chocolate

Apparently I have one adult, prefer premium gin and garden actively.

I suppose so, of course, and no - absolutely not.

Thanks for opening up this whole new world of wonder, OP.

Oh, also, the below make me sound like a make-up pro/snob…

“Likes specific makeup brands”

“Maintains steady cosmetics replenishment routine”

…whereas actually, several years back, I identified a cheap mascara on Amazon that turned out to be ok and a cheap blusher stick that also turned out to be ok, and a foundation that is cheap but goes on slightly less orange than others I’ve tried of the same price range, so I order all three on repeat.

So actually lazy AF with cosmetics 🤣

Oh, and I ‘systematically acquired food storage containers‘ which is news to me, but okay, then.

I went through my recommendations section after my dog died a few months ago and removed everything I had bought for him as it was too upsetting to see a reminder to buy his usual stuff.

Mine mentions cats six times. But unfortunately nothing about my buttocks

'Maintains consistent notebook replenishment' is definitely me! 😂

There are lots of mentions of my cats too.

Reminds me of when I stopped to buy cat food and wine on the way home from a late finish at work. The assistant went to ID me, slowly looked from the wine to the cat food and back again, closed her mouth and hit 'clearly over 25' 🤣🤣

Mine thinks I am a fountain pen obsessive

Departments - Fountain pen writing
Hobbies and interests - writes with fountain pens regularly
Brands - prefers Kaweco fountain pens
Product preferences - prefers premium fountain pen brands

For the record, I have two fountain pens, one at work and one in my bag.

Also the frantic buying of supplements to help her. A sad time.

I think I will do the same. Thanks for suggesting it.
I do find it a bit upsetting to be honest.

Oh that's upsetting. I'll have to do the same if anything happened to my boys 😿

‘Prefers professional-grade tools’!

5 results
Reads extensively across academic subjects
Grows microgreens and sprouts at home
Cooks with precision and advanced techniques
Travels regularly for various purposes
Appreciates quality alcoholic beverages

Wow, I'd definitely like to be me - I sound seriously impressive!

Although I also apparently have great loyalty to a brand of 'intimate apparel' I've never heard of. I think I maybe bought some knickers a year or two ago?! So maybe their read of me isn't quite as accurate as I would like 😢

Under Interests and hobbies mine says ‘maintains an organised home environment’… I need to get a life!!