Do people actually use babysitters?

[Babyboomtastic]

Do people actually use babysitters? I don't mean a close family member or friend having the kids or coming over to babysit, but more in the old fashioned sense - hiring and paying someone to look after your child?

I see it mentioned on here a lot, but I've not known anyone IRL who has used a babysitter. One of my friends does some occasional babysitting (locally to her, not in my area) but it doesn't seem to be the done thing here.

I use my friends or family teenagers and give them some pocket money. I don't have many options as a sole parent and I need to go out.

Well if I didn’t book a babysitter myself and DH would never have gotten a night out together.

Yes how do people ever go out if they don't use babysitters?

I think this is a really good point. Also on this thread and in general, as is natural, we're all clearly thinking of the absolute worst case of a 'bad' babysitter, someone really abusive or predatory in the worst way. Which although awful to contemplate is both thankfully rare but also as you say, just as likely if not more so to be someone you know and trust as a stranger...

Whereas I think a far more likely risk of leaving your kids with someone you're paying is a lower level, don't give a shit kind of babysitter, who'll let them play with the box of matches or climb onto the window sill while they're on the phone to their boyfriend, or even more 'benign' than that, just not give them a hug if they have a nightmare or fall over because they're trying to watch the telly. And who's more likely to do that, a 'random' who is trying to set up a regular income stream from babysitting via apps and wants good reviews and repeat custom, or the bored college student daughter of your neighbour who's doing it as a favour? Not advocating letting anyone and everyone sit for your kids without using your own common sense of course but I do think we're not always very logical in how we risk assess these things...

I don't think there should be judgement about this sort of thing, and tbh I'm frustrated that people are being judgy, but also so defensive. I asked out of curiosity only, and really don't care or judge anyone in their answer. I do judge those who are judging others though.

When I said strangers, I didn't mean some randomer off the street, but someone who isn't a family member of preexisting friend. So if I asked my children's former childminder, I'm counting that. It was clumsy shorthand for a booked, paid babysitting service (friends teenage daughter, sitters.com, former nursery staff, old lady in the village, whatever), even if it's someone you end up knowing well.

I could really do with this service but I'm not sure I'd trust an unknown person to watch my children alone in a private space.

It's an extreme situation but one of my school friends was sexually abused by a teen girl who was trusted to babysit her. She killed herself in her 20's. I'm aware it's rare (though she never reported the crime precisely because she thought no one would believe a teenage girl would do something like that, so potentially less rare than I'm imagining?), but it really shows that anyone can potentially be a dangerous person to have around your children and they are especially vulnerable at home where no other adult is around to notice signs of something being wrong.

I think people are going to explain their reasons why they would or wouldn’t use a babysitter and with that comes opinions. You’ve said in your post not a ‘randomer off the street’ but some people do use websites such as sitter.com which is essentially that, a person they’ve never met and don’t know. I would personally prefer to only ever leave my kids with family and not need to use a babysitter but that hasn’t always been possible.

@NoctuaAtheneyes absolutely everyone has different opinions. Ours wanted to do a boat trip that was planned by kids club during one holiday and the staff were surprised we went along but I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable with them going out on a boat in case something happened. 10 plus children on a boat in the middle of the ocean is a lot more risky to me than doing arts and crafts or pizza making in a supervised area. we all mitigate risk

The difference for me between a babysitter and kids club is that there are far more people around and it’s not a private space.

I can't imagine living anywhere nice enough to really know or trust my neighbours with my children. Shall I pick the drunks, pot smokers or very elderly household? Not going out was far less hassle.

Couldn't you do reciprocal babysitting with a friend of yours?

Friends/family- yes
Stranger- no way

It's pretty common here, my daughter has babysat for local families (small town) for the past 6 years. Started with people who knew her or me when she was 14 but there's a local FB group for babysitting and she's had plenty of work from people she didn't know. Some would ask to meet her beforehand/see references from other families etc but most didn't. She now has DBS level 3 childcare and first aid but nobody has ever asked to see any of these.

I was lucky and had two sets of youngish healthy grandparents around when my kids were small so never needed to pay for babysitting.

This is what makes me laugh. Some of the same people who are appalled at the idea of keaving a child with a babysitter also think it would be reasonable to pay under minimum wage to the person looking after your most prized 'possession'!

For people that use babysitters the cost significantly increases the cost of a night out. It depends on yr spare income and how important nights out to you.