Do people actually use babysitters?

[Babyboomtastic]

Do people actually use babysitters? I don't mean a close family member or friend having the kids or coming over to babysit, but more in the old fashioned sense - hiring and paying someone to look after your child?

I see it mentioned on here a lot, but I've not known anyone IRL who has used a babysitter. One of my friends does some occasional babysitting (locally to her, not in my area) but it doesn't seem to be the done thing here.

Yes, every week

Hello , yes we do.
we use a preschool teacher (from the local school). Usually evenings every now and then. I do all food prep ie dinner and leave everything out for bed time but most times we just go out a bit later when she is asleep. I won’t lie, I still worry:) and I can’t say I 100% enjoy myself. But like I said it’s rare!

If I hadn’t booked sitters I wouldn’t have been able to go out at night for 16 years! If you don’t have family to help, what else can you do?!

Very occasionally. It works out extremely expensive, especially on top of a night out, and I do think they are suggested on here far too blithely when someone is a lone parent in need of a break ‘get a babysitter so you can go out for a walk’ great, you going to send the £50 over!?

No. I can’t afford it on top of the cost of a night out. I also used to babysit a lot as a teen and used to visit friends while they were baby sitting. I have a lot of memories of teenagers snogging on other people’s sofas! Enough to put me off leaving a baby sitter with my child.

Never gone out in the evening?? Jeez.

Not everyone has the money for a babysitter.

Reputable babysitters are at least £10 an hour, more like £15. So if you’re out for even three hours it’s a fair old chunk of money!

Of course. Everyone I know uses paid babysitters and I was brought up with babysitters. It was imprtant to us from when the kids slept reliably that we went out together and with friends as adults

Sort out sleepover swaps with their friends parents then, as I did. Let go. To not ever go out is tragic

That works if you have one child who is of sleepover age.

I don’t think not going out in the evening is ‘tragic.’ What’s tragic about it? Genuinely asking here, no intent to be a dick. Honestly, what am I missing?

I have absolutely not doubt we will disagree as to what is ‘sleepover age’!
Do you not have a life outside of your children? Friends? Interests? Just need a break or change of scene?

Sure, it’s just it doesn’t have to take place in the evenings!

My children are five years old and three years old; they are most definitely too young for sleepovers!

Yes. Hired a sitter through Sitters when I had a last minute job interview when DS1 was 5. 15 years and 2 more kids later, she's our nanny and one of my favourite people in the world.

In your opinion. Mine were staying with our close NCT friends at that age and we had their same aged children in return. The kids absolutely loved it. It was bloody hard work having the four of them but worth it knowing you’d get a free weekend with your partner in a few weeks. We did it every few months for years. Not for the anxious parent tho.

I’m not anxious at all @Abby323 but very genuinely don’t know anybody with children or that age who have sleepovers. It sounds like it worked well for you but you have to remember it relies not only on you being happy to send them (and honestly I wouldn’t be; I am pretty sure they’d get upset) but also on people being happy to have them!

No local family. I occasionally managed to get a friend to babysit in the early years before she had her children, and sometimes there was an interested teenage young leader who would be happy to do it paid. Sometimes there were chunks of time when there wasn't someone we knew avaliable.

Even paying a teenager bumps the cost up of a night out, and means that you really need a good reason to go out and bump the cost up. Suddenly a night out to the cinema to watch a moderately interesting film isn't worth £50+ for a few hours.

Getting an unknown person in to my home and paying a professional rate, as well as feeling the need to clean the house to visitor standard was unappealing. We don't go out enough to build up a relationship with someone for regular sitting. The DCs are autistic so aren't enthused about unfamiliar people and disruption in their home. Most people I know locally have family to babysit so no personal recommendations. The benefit of a night out didn't feel worth the risk of entrusting my children on just a DBS check and some reviews. At nursery, school and wraparound care, the benefits are different, and there are organisational safeguarding policies and protocols compared to a lone person.

It's lovely now having teenagers who don't need babysitting, so much simpler!

You being “pretty sure they’d be upset” is why they’d be upset. Anxiety always starts with/comes from parents. I was always “pretty sure they’d have a fab time” and they did.
Relax, rein in you anxiety and let them be independent.

@deedee176 behave, no three year old is regularly going on sleepovers. Or five year old for that matter. It just is not really the age where that happens. Obviously if you have close family to take them that’s different but I don’t, and you can make out I’m uptight and anxious for not sending a three year old off with a sleeping bag and teddy every week all you like, it is unusual for this age and I would say limited to the odd emergency situation.

Yes I did. My family live in another country.
The first one was my friend’s part time nanny, and had her fur a couple weekends too when we went away for our anniversary. Occasionally my stepson would babysit but I didn’t pay him. Then I had our school’s vicar’s daughter quite a bit, that was especially convenient as she lived a few houses up the road as by then I was a widow. By that time my son was borderline ok on his own but not old enough to look after his younger sister so I would tell him she was there to babysit her rather than him. I babysat when I was younger (started at age 12 back then), but my sisters were constantly babysitting! Both earned quite a bit.

Once every couple of months is not regularly. Kids love sleepovers - you’re overthinking it. And it can work if your child is any age if you’re not an over anxious parent and you trust the host parents. I would say to try it but you’ve already made it about yourself and decided your kids would miss you too much (rather than have fun). What’s the right age for a sleepover then in your opinion? Never?

No, I think I’d have interviewed them
over days and followed them to see how they drive if they had to drive our kids anywhere and then they might have viewed me as some form of a weird stalker so better sticking with only really doing things when kids are in school/ us taking turns going out etc!!!

If family haven’t been able to help out, we’ve used a couple of babysitters who we know- a family friend who works in childcare, a lady who runs a club the kids go to, a mum friend who works as a nanny and needed some extra cash. I’d never use a complete random and it always shocks me when people do being honest. Some school mums were moaning recently about parents not being able to attend a night out and they said do what everyone else does, hire a sitter online and I was shocked

Wow, I don’t know anyone who hasn’t used a paid babysitter. I suppose kids at private school means our friends have the disposable income to spend and there are lots of nannys we got to know at the school gate who would then be keen for evening babysitting. We also paid sixth formers in our street when the dc were older. We used a paid babysitter at least weekly for 14 years.

Not always so dh and I could go out together but also so I could do things like go to Pilates or book club or the cinema as he was often away travelling with work or working until midnight in the office. Saved my sanity.

Of course they do.
It is difficult to believe this is even a question.

I mean, I don't know anyone who has had an au pair, but I know they exist.
I don't know anyone who has a Nanny, but I know some people use them.
I don't know anyone who has a housekeeper, but I know some people do.
I don't know anyone who has a butler, but I know some people do.
To show it isn't just a wealth thing, I don't know anyone who is in prison, but I know people are there too.

The poll is also flawed, in that many of us have used a combination of the options. It isn't a poll where if you do one then you can't do the others.

Why are people.assuming that others are just hiring any random off the street? Its usually a recommended teenager who can be trusted and is sensible (and often has a parent nearby), or someone like me - an older woman who has had her own children, or works in childcare. And is also known to the parent(s) and recommended by others.
You're not hiring a "stranger" fgs