Do people actually use babysitters?

[Babyboomtastic]

Do people actually use babysitters? I don't mean a close family member or friend having the kids or coming over to babysit, but more in the old fashioned sense - hiring and paying someone to look after your child?

I see it mentioned on here a lot, but I've not known anyone IRL who has used a babysitter. One of my friends does some occasional babysitting (locally to her, not in my area) but it doesn't seem to be the done thing here.

Yes of course they do.

I know lots of people that do but my kid does not have the temperament for it.

No one I know

I used to babysit kids for pocket money as a teenager in my village. It was normal then.

Now, I wouldn't dream of leaving my kids with a stranger in my house and it just seems odd to me that anyone ever did that.

I am completely shocked that people wouldn’t use a babysitter?! We have a nanny and we have another wonderful woman who does casual babysitting for us and will definitely look for more babysitters as needed in the future. I don’t think I know anyone who hasn’t paid a babysitter/nanny.

Yes but it’s an expensive night out if you’re paying for a night out plus a babysitter. And they aren’t usually a total random - it’s the teenage child of a friend or a babysitter who’s well known and comes recommended.

Yes.

when my kids were preschool we had a babysitting circle in my village and we sat for each others kids.

as mine got older I used teenagers in the village. I mostly knew them and their parents but definitely paid.

we also on occasion booked people through sitters.com

I hate when people say “oh just pay for a sitter” on here, I have never in my life known of anyone to use a hired sitter ever, it’s just not something I’ve ever experienced in real life and no one I know would do that, and no chance would I leave my kids with someone I’d hired online either, bloody bizarre but one of those things I only see on mumsnet. I’d genuinely rather never go out.

This is really interesting, and so far a pretty even split between 'hell no' and 'are you crazy, of course', with not much in between.

Given I don't know anyone who uses sitters and some people don't know anyone who hasn't, I wonders what makes the two camps if that makes sense.

I'm not judgemental about those that use them btw. I'd probably have a better life balance if I did. If it was common round here I probably would use them, but it's not the done thing round here, so I've become uncomfortable with it.

Yes they do, my daughter is one now!

I work in a nursery; some of our younger staff babysit regularly!

TBH I don't know anyone who does.
Planned babysitting has been family.

Unplanned I've had a couple of occasions when I've called on the neighbours to help, flat tyre, stuck in traffic sort of things.

@SeriouslyFedUPPPI think people are assuming that a paid babysitter is a stranger booked online. We pay a woman in our village who is well known to all of us, related to some of our friends and a qualified childminder occasionally to care for the kids. She is relatively expensive because she is a professional and can be trusted to put them to bed, feed them etc. If we’re just going out in the village then we sometimes pay a teenager whose parents we know well and who our kids love but we wouldn’t expect her to put the youngest to bed or do anything tricky. We rarely go out tbh but we don’t have any family nearby. Friends do it sometimes and vice versa but sometimes the local friends are out with us!!

I’ve never hired a stranger but I have paid a babysitter.

Yes we do use a paid babysitter. She isn't a stranger to us or the children.
She was then we met her but you can say that about most people.

If you have grandparents to babysit it's easy to say "hell no". My DHs are 200 miles away and my parents are in another EU country so no help in everyday life.

I baby sat all my mum's friends kids, including small babies from age 10. I was particularly responsible however, I have a 12 year old now and there's no way in hell I'm leaving her and her mates to look after her 18 month old sister. Madness😂

That's true (about grandparents), though mine are becoming elderly and so are more for daytime sitting. They would struggle to babysit at ours of an evening as we have steep stairs, but they will do overnights for us occasionally. It means we do get the occasional night out, but less so I expect than we would if we used babysitters. I wouldn't even know any though tbh.

I think a lot depends on where you live.

We’ve used babysitters. My elder daughters were babysitters before they moved out (DD1 had regular jobs from 15). We live in a small village where everyone knows everyone. Three staff at the local nursery advertise themselves as a babysitting group - they’ve got quite a thriving wee business by all accounts.

BIL & SIL live in a city, are on nodding terms with their neighbours and the only others they know are their work colleagues. SIL got to know a few people through a baby and toddler group, but nobody they know well enough to ask. The were hoping to maybe ask some of the staff at DN’s nursery but because of problems the nursery have banned staff from doing babysitting jobs for parents.

Yes we do as our nearest family is a flight away.

When the kids were younger their favourite carer at daycare babysat for us.

Then it was the mum of DS’s bestie who was looking to make some extra cash.

These days it’s more company and making sure they go to bed on time (10 and 12) and our babysitter is one of the older teenagers who lives on our street.

We did occasionally, when our kids were little. We don't have family living close by, and it seemed like an imposition to ask a friend to give up an entire evening. So, we paid for a babysitter via Sitters. You get a little bio of your sitter, and we always chose a female babysitter who was a teacher or nursery nurse as their day job, so they had had DBS clearance and experience with children.

Of course, it's impossible to completely eliminate risk - but isn't that also true of using friends and family members? One could almost argue that the latter is a riskier option, because abusers have the opportunity to groom the parents of their intended victim over time, as well as grooming their victim, which a one-off babysitter wouldn't have the chance to do.

There are several decisions that I made as a parent of young children that, with hindsight, I would make differently now, but hiring a babysitter from Sitters isn't one of them.

I do, because I'm a lone parent and due to illness, distance and old age I have no family to help out. If I didn't use a babysitter I'd literally never go out of an evening.

I don't care what other people do but I'm not a fan of the "shocked face I'd never leave my child with a stranger" comments, which I've had in real life too. You might feel differently if it was that or not having an evening out for the next decade!

I took it to mean people you don’t know personally but maybe I read it wrong, personally I don’t know anyone to babysit so it would be online which would be an absolute no for me. I don’t have family or friends that would babysit so I’m not saying this from a position of someone with loads of help but I’d rather just not go out.

i wonder if the same people saying "hell no" also use paid childcare so they can go to work ie nursery or childminder.

I'm guessing not.

I haven’t had a night to myself in 10 years, why assume anyone that wouldn’t isn’t in the situation?

Our workplace (DP and I work at the same company) has an agreement with a babysitting company - as a benefit we get 20 hours per year for children under 8. We’ve used them for sick days and all the women sent have been amazing, highly qualified, doing it to supplement income as child psychologists and so on. They mainly work at fancy hotels in our city so the fees are really high - no way we could afford to pay for it ourselves.

We could ask one of the nursery assistants I guess, but even if you’re paying 10€/hour, that’s an expensive night out. Maybe it would be worth it. We’ve only been on a child-free night out once in the last four years and I miss dancing together somewhere that isn’t our kitchen.

Ive used a paid sitter a handful of times - a key person from my children's nursery, someone familiar to them, first aid trained, dbs checked and experienced working with children. I wouldn't use someone I didn't already know.