Do people actually use babysitters?

[Babyboomtastic]

Do people actually use babysitters? I don't mean a close family member or friend having the kids or coming over to babysit, but more in the old fashioned sense - hiring and paying someone to look after your child?

I see it mentioned on here a lot, but I've not known anyone IRL who has used a babysitter. One of my friends does some occasional babysitting (locally to her, not in my area) but it doesn't seem to be the done thing here.

You're right, I wouldn't know about my wider circle, but in terms of anyone that I socialize with (quite a lot), discussions about childcare and whether they're available on an evening, who is looking after the kids etc do come up obviously.

We have local parenting groups on FB which are very active and it's very rare that people ask for recommendations for babysitting.

It's clear that in some areas it's common to use them, and in others it's rare, even if you have no other support.. What I don't get is why!

I wouldn’t allow someone I don’t know to look after my children. I would pay a responsible teenager that we know (I don’t mean a friend of a friend) but it’s mostly family that we ask or close friends. If we can’t get someone we know and trust to babysit, either one or both of us won’t go to whatever it is.

In some areas people may not have money to spare?

And in London, many are immigrants or moved from some other part of the UK, so have no friends or family near.

Perhaps I'm a bit more open-minded then, given I don't know anyone who uses babysitters but I believe you 😜.

I don't care whether people do or don't, it's no indication of your dedication to parenting, it's just a different way of doing one tiny thing.

It's just really odd that there seemed to be two completely separate camps on this with very little overlap.

If it were used widely, wouldn't you expect in 6 years of my eldest being in school, someone, on at least one occasion would have asked for a recommendation on the very active class WhatsApp, for example.

My dd is 17 and is a regular babysitter. Most people in our estate know us and she’s usually booked up for Friday and Saturday weeks in advance. There’s going to be a lot of disappointed parents when she goes to uni next year

Come on then, tell us about your area and your circle, this is clearly the point of your thread.

It's a pretty white middle class area tbh.

The correlation between white and money escapes me! I am not white and have spare money; as do most of the non-white people I know.

My kids are early 20s now. When they were children we paid teenaged sitters, then they did some babysitting themselves. I'm pretty sure people here still pay teenagers to sit, though I'm a bit out of that loop now. We live in a village where everyone knows everyone, maybe that makes a difference. Before we moved to the village we used to pay sitters from the children's nursery and also our cleaner used to sit sometimes.

We also used to be part of a babysitting circle with tokens when the children were very small (so possibly a bit challening for your average teenager) but that was 20 years ago. Don't know if they still exist.

Why are you so snippy about this?

The point was, that I was on another thread and somebody mentioned 'get a babysitter', am I first thought was 'no one does that anymore', so I wanted to find out whether people actually do.

It doesn't make me a better parent or a worse parent because I don't use babysitters. I wouldn't know who to ask if I wanted to, but even if I could my kids have complications which mean babysitters would be tricky.

Can people not just accept that sometimes you ask a question out of curiosity rather than having some secret pointed meaning behind it.

Wouldn’t even know where to find a babysitter, almost impossible to find any sort of childcare where I am.
Family wont babysit so we don’t get any time away from our kids.

why do you assume babysitters are randoms?

but also - if you find yourself without known options what are you going to do? Of course some people will use childcare sites to find vetted, DBS-checked people with experience and references.

I venture some even have a conversation or meeting before getting them to care for their child for the first time?

Sigh.

The correlation is that some people have talked about areas having a lot of immigrants, which are less likely to have family nearby to babysit.

Areas with a higher white population tend to have lower levels of immigration, and so the point that cities like London have higher immigration, so perhaps a higher rate using babysitters, doesn't apply here.

I don’t, of course, know the ins and outs of everyone’s situation but as far as I am aware, I don’t know anyone who uses babysitters at all, just grandparents and the occasion auntie/uncle favour. Actually, I know one couple but that’s their nanny, so not a ‘babysitter’ as such but will do babysitting as well, iyswim?

I used to when dc was younger. It was a nursery worker at the time but continued to use her until dc was 7/8. We had no family around at that time.

I would as long as I could trust the babysitter. I think maybe people call it 'childcare' now to avoid the notion they are leaving their offspring alone in their house with a feckless unqualified 13 year old near stranger and paying way below minimum wage?!

Not in the last 10 years, but twice weekly when the children were young. They absolutely saved my sanity as a solo parent. I can see that where there is another parent doing ‘alternate weekends and Wednesdays’ it wouldn’t be necessary.

Sure I did, mostly (older) teenage kids of friends. Sometimes my cleaner would babysit (she often came in the evening anyway). Or I have a friend who can always do with extra money and is great with my kids.

I live far from my family so that isn't an option.

We generally swapped with friends first or asked grandparents if no-one was available. If that didn't work out we paid the adult daughter of a school mum who did babysitting (she had insurance and DBS). On the odd occasion, we paid the teenage daughter of another friend as well. Just remembered that we did once use the babysitting service at a hotel while we went to a gig (the reason we were at the hotel)

I only know 1 person who pays a sitter, the lady is her cleaner but does ad hoc baby sitting and dog walking as well.

A friend of mine moved to a new housing estate and had a flyer through for a local babysitter, £15 an hour. That would make an evening out unaffordable for most I imagine.

I used to get £5 and a few snacks as a teenager babysitter!

Fair enough, apologies. I assumed you had an agenda.

This is probably a result of your own life experiences though that make you not trust people?

in answer to the ‘what type of person hires a babysitter’ question, I think it’s…

1, money - for obvious reasons
2, need - some people have no choice
3, life experience- I live in a low crime area and have gone through life not knowing any ‘baddies’. At all, of any description. So I don’t think for a second that a 16 year old girl is going to assault my child. And I’m glad about that, as I don’t think it can be pleasant to go through life with such mistrust.
4, the norm in your area
5, confidence - being able to risk assess sensibly to get a balance

Nope. Never been abused or anything, weird assumption, why would I trust a stranger with something as important as my children.

So that you can live a happier more balanced life with a sensible attitude to risk.