Do people actually use babysitters?

[Babyboomtastic]

Do people actually use babysitters? I don't mean a close family member or friend having the kids or coming over to babysit, but more in the old fashioned sense - hiring and paying someone to look after your child?

I see it mentioned on here a lot, but I've not known anyone IRL who has used a babysitter. One of my friends does some occasional babysitting (locally to her, not in my area) but it doesn't seem to be the done thing here.

I was a babysitter as a student and then as a single parent I would not have survived without a team of babysitters. We also had a babysitting circle but that was difficult for me to reciprocate.

Luckily I led the youth group at our local church and knew many trustworthy teens happy to babysit for a few hours.

That’s us. It’s not a hell no. More a we don’t know anyone trusted.

At nursery it’s not just one person. As pp say not picking some random from the internet or facebook.

Babysitters aren’t usually randoms you’ve hired online you know

This thread is a prime example of people who are fortunate enough to have family living nearby having no clue how challenging it can be when you don’t. Of course people use sitters. In the same way that people use nurseries or childminders. They are vetted by the companies and you take time to speak to them beforehand. It’s feels like a slightly snide way to look down on people that need help and support and don’t have it on tap with family.

They are if you have no one?
Try reading the thread people have already mentioned sitters.co.uk

That’s nice you assume everyone has friends who will babysit? This thread is literally about people that don’t asking if you hire a sitter

No, and I don't know anyone who does either. There's a teenager locally who I know one family has paid to come in the day and play with the kids while they get on with stuff but are still in the house.
Never had the grandparents babysit either, I have two kids who struggle to get to sleep even with us here so no chance with someone else!

I think so. We have family members that have a babysitter come twice a week on a Monday and Wednesday to look after their 10 month old whilst the mother gets on with other tasks… within the house though so not leaving the child with them and then going out I suppose

No, no one I know would ever pay a stranger to look after their kids. Friends/family/a school mum but never a stranger and people very rarely pay or accept money either.

Those of us without family nearby use them, of course. We don’t use them often as they’re so expensive, but do you really think people with no nearby relatives just don’t ever go out as a couple 18 years?

The fact most people rely on their family for babysitting means I don’t have any friends who would want to trade babysitting duties with! And I don’t really want to babysit other people’s children anyway!

Is there a disconnect between people who think 'babysitters' are some random that advertises themselves on Facebook that parents sling a few quid to, never having met them before, and those who have used babysitters who are qualified nursery nurses with DBS checks who are already known to the family?

There's a wide range of babysitting services and I can see how people who've never used one might perceive it to be a risk, but I was a member of a babysitting circle before I became a single mum and it was brilliant and meant that we could still go out (no nearby family).

Hence why I used the word ‘usually’. Most kids go to school, which gives parents access to a network of other parents who themselves have trusted babysitters or teenagers.

When my dd was a teen babysitter (clients sourced mostly through people I knew) she’d spend time with parents and kids beforehand to get to know them, mostly she already knew them anyway as they were younger siblings of her younger sibling. She was also a Guide young leader which meant she knew a couple of other kids she looked after through Brownies.

Horses for courses, but I think most people have access to other parents for trusted babysitter recommendations if that’s what they need. I wouldn’t have been comfortable with a randomer either as it goes - but like another posters I was in a babysitting circle with friends so we all knew each other and kids well.

I don’t understand the people saying “no one I know hires babysitters”. How on earth would you know that? Maybe your close family and friends don’t, but it’s hardly like you’d know if your wider circle did. I don’t think I’ve ever discussed it with any of my friends as it’s never come up, and definitely not any of my school mum acquaintances 🤷‍♀️

Like I said no one I know uses sitters… not paid ones anyway, friends and family yes.

Yes, completely normal where I live. All the time. Often just teenagers. My friend would for example just get her teenage neighbour round for just an hour if she wanted to go the gym. I was a babysitter myself from about 14. That’s why I don’t really understand why posts often say ‘I have no one to look after my dc’ when as babysitters are always an option they should be saying ‘I don’t want to use babysitters because x’

Oh, yes of course we do. How else would we go to friends' parties, an anniversary date, or sometimes even just clashing work events?

Sometimes it's our regular babysitter, sometimes it's an unknown (to us) one from the same organisation.

They have always been anywhere between 15-19 and it's always been perfectly fine.

I didn't tell my friends about my babysitter precisely because of the judgy tone on here. MN is so sanctimonious these days.

Is DadsNet any better? I bet dads aren't competing over who has never left their kids for 18 years!

Of course they do! For some people there’s literally no alternative!!

It's really not. I know single parents with not a lot of support who also don't use babysitters. I know couples with zero family around who don't use babysitters.

I'm certainly not looking down on anyone for using babysitters, I genuinely assumed no one used them anymore, because I don't know anyone who does. If I lived in an area where it was common and my peers were using them, I probably would as well.

Yes regularly when DC younger. No family nearby. I tried to organise babysitting swaps with friends but they all had grandparents nearby so never needed me, and I didn't like to take advantage by taking favours I wouldn't be asked to reciprocate.

There's a babysitting agency for my city that is easy to register with and they supply someone as needed, who is always very nice. The deal is that the child must be actually in bed and not be needing significant adult attention, so the babysitter is just there in case of emergency.

Obviously it adds significantly to the cost of an evening out so it was never more than 4 or 5 times a year but it was perfectly fine. We last used one with DC aged about 13/14 and we agreed not to use the word babysitter in DCs presence but "young person's companion" after which we gently started leaving DC alone in the house for up to a couple of hours.

There isn't anyone like that near us. There are local 12 year olds but not experienced enough to deal with two primary aged dc on their own for an evening.

We would have to pay for a proper service I think. So we've never bothered but it has meant we haven't been out for ten years.

I did 25 years ago. 15 year old in the street. We had no family to babysit.

We don't have any friends or family nearby. No one has ever looked after our kids.

I still refuse to believe just because you don’t see it means it literally doesn’t exist where you are.

I didn't call up a random stranger on the morning of a night out but we did have a couple of babysitters we found through an agency, they had references and came round to meet the children when we were there, had a few sessions where they looked after the kids whilst we worked from home or got on with something else, so we knew the kids would be happy to be left with them. They were lovely, one in particular the kids absolutely loved as she would make salt dough with them and played loads of games