Banned from my local supermarket after an argument with a member of staff- my language was bad though.

[Alderedge1]

So today I’ve been banned from my local supermarket, I’m not proud of what happened but I think that the member of staff was also in the wrong.

i was in the fruit and veg aisle looking to get some pre- chopped melon. The ones that come in sealed plastic pots. They were stacked quite tightly and some of the dates were quite soon, so I decided to go towards the back, in doing this I accidentally knocked 5 or 6 pots off the shelf. Immediately a female member of staff was on me- telling me “ you’re supposed to take the ones from the front”. I apologised for knocking some of them from the shelf but explained that it was my choice to choose the date that I wanted. By this point I had reassembled the display, so no harm done. She carried on chuntering so I said something like “ it’s really not a big deal, let’s move on”. As I went to walk away she said, “ it’s just not on”. I’m afraid this is where I let myself down. She was a small pointy woman of about 60 with short dyed red hair. I asked her what her problem was and she said “ customers like you thinking they own the place” to which I replied ( I know this is bad) “fuck off and shut your cunt up you fucking crackhead Anne Robinson lookalike”. It’s not often I take such a low blow but I had a rough upbringing and when I’m really pushed it emerges. The lady stormed off.

as I was leaving a manager asked me if I could step into an office for a chat, I said no thank you. She then said well I’m afraid that you won’t be able to shop here moving forwards.

so that’s that. Not proud of my mouth but she was a fucking horrible twat.

They would actually- I was very very careful about not swearing in front of them as kids, despite me being naturally very potty mouthed. My mums nickname for me was “ little cunt” from the age of 8 onwards

If that's true you seem to have exploded with very little provocation on this occasion. What's changed?

I actually think this is really good news and think more businesses should do it.

A long long time ago when I worked on a bank counter, my manager closed a young man's account because he swore at me. The next day he came back with his boss who hadn't heard the full story and wanted to argue that the bank had been unreasonable and how this poor young man now wouldn't be able to get his wages. I said "I'm sorry but we won't have customers who swear at us" and without saying anything further the boss clipped him round the ear and marched him out of the bank 😆

So what happens when you're really pushed, if that's what you call pushed? Do you punch people?

You can't speak to people like that OP and it is irritating when people dig right to the back of stock to find longer dates. Even though we all know it's more beneficial to us. She was wrong but you flew off a cliff.

Well, you don't 💩 where you eat, OP.
So you can email but why would you?
To return there?
Not sure I'd ever want to return to the scene of the crime tbf. Although that said, I have gone back to two places where I myself was not given great customer service. Needs must.
You can go back and apologise if you want to.
I did that with dental receptionists I snapped at once (no motive, other than genuine remorse at shooting the messenger. Practice were going private and dumping us anyway but they cancelled an appointment last minute. Autistic kid in pain. Not good. So I advocated...robustly).
Otherwise take your ban on the chin OP and shop elsewhere. Voting with your feet and in this case, no choice really.
Most places now have signs up that they won't tolerate abuse of staff.
You did abuse a staff member.
She sounds awful but you should have risen above, ignored or reported her first. Stock rotation is normal but lots of customers look at dates and take from the back. 🤷🏼‍♀️

What do you hope to gain from starting this thread OP?

But you're cool with swearing viciously in front of other people's children, in the supermarket. I see.

Well I wasn’t expecting that! Your insult actually made me chuckle 🤭. She obviously didn’t deserve that level of escalation but she did deserve to be told to leave you alone to shop in peace.

I always choose the food from the back.

Well that was quite the verbal, randomly-worded attack.

Obviously the shop banned you!

The staff member was annoying but your comment to her was disgusting. You should take a long look at yourself and ask why you think it’s ok to speak to anyone like that.

I wonder if you felt safe saying it because she was short and in her 60s so you felt a bit brave. Or maybe you treat service workers like shit generally because you think they can’t say anything back to you.

You behaved appallingly and should be embarrassed and ashamed.

Even before your language you were being unreasonable. If you want pots from the back with a longer date that’s fine but you should access them carefully, there’s no excuse for knocking that many pots to the floor. If the packaging had split open they wouldn’t be sellable and the poor colleague you were abusive to would have had to be clearing them up. If you’d only knocked 1 or 2 maybe that was just an accident but the fact it was a whole load shows you weren’t being careful enough. If you couldn’t reach the items you wanted you should have asked for assistance, not just carelessly knocked the pots in your way to the floor. The sales assistant was a little rude but I can see why she was frustrated by your behaviour and it certainly didn’t warrant such an unpleasant, abusive response from you.

Did this pointy woman have an inverted triangle or diamond shaped face?

What nonsense. People are allowed to accidentally knock things over. It happens. I always see spillages in supermarkets, a lot more expensive things than melon. The rudeness from the staff member was not justified.

Oh bore off! She was hardly a bull in a china shop. Things fall even when being careful.

Buy a fake moustache, overcoat and some dark glasses. Problem solved.

Oh ok, thank you

Sounds like a fair and proportionate consequence. I'm sure there are other shops you can get your groceries in.

What a bizarre tirade. Even your swearing makes no sense.

What you did was reprehensible OP- I think you know that.I don't know what the staff members appearance had to do with anything- are we suposed to infer some kind of stereotype from your description?

You need to learn how to assert yourself without raising your voice, without using abusive language. If a situation like that happens then remaining calm but firm gives you the upper hand. So a " I prefer the items at the back, but thanks. " and deliver with a smile

The staff member was a bit rude but you could have easily ignored her or told her the ones at the front would expire before you would use them. If she kept going on then I would walk away and or ask to speak with the manager.

Your response was unreal. Are you always that quick to go nuclear. Has this fly of the handle reaction impacted your life before? Road rage etc?

Take some anger management classes.

Christ, that was appalling behaviour from you. I bet it's not the first time you've doe that sort of thing, it doesn't come out of nowhere.

Sorry, but no one goes from angelically never arguing with a staff member to saying what you did.

What you said came from years of practise of being rude to staff.

Irritating to who?

I’ve never hit or punched anyone in my life

Yes, it happens but knocking a whole stack of pots from the shelf because you’re trying to reach the back is not really an accident, it’s very predictable that a high stack of pots on the edge of the shelf are likely to fall if you try and reach around the back of them. OP should have been more careful. It would have taken an extra 30 seconds to carefully move the pots she didn’t want to the shelf below, take a pot from behind and then put the pots back carefully. It sounds like she was being careless and I can see why in that case the shop assistant would be annoyed by it.