What ideas would help improve women and girls’ safety day to day?

[girlfriend44]

Ladies and girls safety ideas/ Chat.

Just a brainstorming chat.

What would ladies like to see set up or like to see that helps women and their safety.

The ladies taxi service is a good one. I don't see any lady taxi drivers though. I'm.not sure they want to do it in a big way?
Would any of you want to do it?
Think there are already female only gyms not sure? We've got ask Angela in some venues for help.

How about a messaging app where you can message or text another lady on your journey home to say your safe and your home, your in the taxi etc, just a reassuring thing.

I guess people can already do that and text friends and family. Would there be any need for a separate service?
Do all ladies tell all friends and family what they are doing all the time?

What would you like to see out there?
What do you think ladies would use?

I love to try and think stuff up or see what people would use.

There is so much around ladies and girls safety today?

I haven’t really got anyone to message, so I’d find a service good but what would be behind the service? I suppose it can tell the police where I’ve gone and what taxi I’m in?

I don’t have a female only gym near me, but I don’t consider that safety issue, more just a comfort one.

The Ask for Angela thing isn’t great, I think it’s more just that bars were asked to put that sign up, I’m not sure how many of them actually have a procedure in place. Maybe they do - I mean, don’t take that from me I’ve never used it.

My biggest issue is that I can’t really get the people I’m out with to check on me going home because they think I’m being ridiculous. There isn’t really a way to fix that. I would definitely use a ladies taxi firm but again how are you going to get people who want to do that job? There was one in North London I think and it closed down.

There’s one female only gym near me but it welcomes men who pretend to be women, so that’s out.
To be quite honest I’d welcome women only communities, I’m fed up with men, their casual misogyny (yes even the good ones), and I’d welcome a real break from them!

How about a massive education drive to boys in schools? Women shouldn’t have to think of ways to make themselves safe.

That’s a shame you can’t check in with your friends after you’ve been out @EmeraldRoulette I’m part of a group of three single women and we always check to make sure everyone has got home safely whenever we meet up. There’s nothing ridiculous about it.

I think a societal change on how men view women. I’m sad to say my 21 year old DD is subject to the usual unwanted male attention every day. She doesn’t want to have to constantly be on guard. She doesn’t want to have to not trust a taxi driver or cross the street if a lone male is approaching. Get the men to change, not just add more protection for women.

Ban pornography.
Seriously tackle how much of the internet under 18s can access.

It would be good if the police did their bloody job and investigated and prosecuted offenders.

Rather than just shrug off crimes against women as being too difficult to prosecute.

A woman only gym should be just that females only.

Thank you

My evening circle is pretty much limited two local couples, two or three of them, who just think I’m being silly. To be fair, they would walk home in situation where I take a cab. I mean the women would walk home on their own. I have tried pointing out that somebody is at least expecting them at home, but I just get blank stares.

I think no one wants to take the responsibility of “ shit, emerald hasn’t messaged, what do I do now?”

My closest friend lives in a really rough part of London but I now rarely to go out in Central London of an evening because I’ve got all the palaver of getting home.(my trains can be a pain and I’ve had some weirdos sitting next to me on the train and it’s not busy coming my way). She would check in fairness, but we tend to see each other during the day now.

I’ve hit the point where I don’t like going out in the evening any more because taxi drivers are not what they used to be. They seem to be okay during the day.

The biggest remark seems to be “ what do you think will happen, nothing has actually happened”. No, but if you see some of the taxi drivers I see of an evening, you’d know what I’m worried about. I’m still happy to stay out till 2 am, but wow, some of the taxi drivers… some of the daytime drivers have told me that they don’t like going out in the evening because they know they’re transporting drugs around basically.

I’ve got one neighbour who’s got the same problem but she goes to bed early so she’s not really a check-in buddy. She’s much younger than me and I have noticed that the younger generation of women also cite safety as an issue for not going out in the evening. Apparently it’s one of the reasons why day clubs have taken off. I thought it was going to be because my generation of clubbers wanted to be home at civilised time - but I know somebody who runs one and she tells me it’s a very popular with 20 somethings, more so than older ones. I guess that will be area dependent as well.

People who are part of a couple don’t really get it I don’t think @EmeraldRoulette It’s actually quite a lonely feeling knowing nobody would notice if you didn’t get home.

We have jokingly suggested a daily check in as we’re all late fifties now and if one of us were to have a medical incident, it might be a while before anyone realised!

I used to think nothing of blagging a lift home from clubbing when I was in my late teens. Now I wouldn’t go out in the town centre at night because it’s so bloody dangerous.

@Iheartmysmart ”It’s actually quite a lonely feeling knowing nobody would notice if you didn’t get home.”

yeah, I didn’t want to push the conversation further, partly because I thought I was going to burst into tears but partly also because I thought that maybe people have thought it through…and they don’t want the responsibility of ringing the police if I don’t get home?

these people are casual acquaintances. We will probably lose touch because I have decided that I can’t face the “casual socialising with people who don’t actually care about you” thing. But that’s a sidebar.

So yeah, if the app was available and had actual staff behind it, who could raise the alarm? I might use that. I suppose it would depend how much it cost.

editing to add - I’m 50 but expecting to move to some sort of retirement community later, it’s not ideal for the poor soul that has to sell the property when I die, but I can’t really see that I have any other options.

Many women are trapped in abusive relationships, either due to poor finances or not recognising that their relationship is unhealthy. I'd like women to have better escape routes out of the family home and easy access to help and support.

I think you meant to say what can be done about the men who think it’s ok to assault and kill women because they have hurt feelings and why can’t the criminal justice system keep women safe from violent men?

This. A million times over.

Women and girls shouldn't have to protect themselves against predatory males.

I think there needs to be a mass revolt, a huge uprising of women all standing together and refusing to accept the status quo. All men need to know that women are not there to be raped, beaten, murdered, stalked, harassed and treated as sex objects.

Pornography should not be available for all to see. I hope future generations will look back at this point in time and think, ‘What the hell were they thinking, allowing children access to mobile phones and the internet with no limitations?’ This has poisoned and damaged children and men beyond words. The world is a pretty sickening place right now.

Replace all the male staff at the BBC with women.

Agree with a lot of the suggestions. But also more focus on safer architecture/more walkable places. It makes a big difference walking down a wide pavement with other people also walking down it/pushing buggies etc with housing or businesses facing outward onto the street. Than walking down a narrow pavement with the only other people in cars whizzing past and with tall concrete or brick walls on the other side of you or hedges etc. it feels more like if something happened noone would see. Actually improving safety for pedestrians in terms of from being hit by cars or just making it more pleasant to walk or cycle can increase your safety from attack in any area because there is more likely to be a mix of people using the space (including mums with pushchairs, dad's wirh kids etc). Rather than just you and that one creepy stranger.

Also good consistent street lighting, better alternatives to cross busy roads than a dark underpass, sightlines into quieter areas like canal paths so you can see who is there etc. it's not that everywhere needs to meet those conditions. But its better if there is an easy route to the shops (for example) that meets that safety criteria. There can be an alternative deserted underpass of doom for people that want to live dangerously if they want.

I like the idea of a messaging or text service. You might not always want to bother friends and they might not respond anyway

You don't even have to tell people where you are. Just I'm leaving home, I am there now etc. just a reassurance.

It dosent just have to be night time either. Anytime your making a journey daytime too. You've got someone to check in with..

To make women feel safer, don't we need to have prominent male figures championing this for women to men.

@girlfriend44 if the point of the service to report to police if they don’t hear back from me, then they do need to know where I am, or in my case, the registration number of the taxi, the area, the journey I was meant to be doing. That’s obviously fine, but were you thinking of a service that would alert the police? The police will have to be on board with that.

just realised, if a reliable service like this actually existed, I would have a lot more walking options. We have some lovely nature spots locally but I stick to the busy ones because I don’t feel safe walking alone. So that would a reason why I’d want to use it during the day.

It took me awhile to even remember that because so many things are just off-limits as a single female. Rightly or wrongly, I’m guessing that single men don’t worry about going on a nice nature walk.

Your writing style is unusual OP. You come across as entrepreneurial rather than engaged. What’s your own experience of feeling safe / less safe and what has made a difference for you?

@lottiegarbanzo yes I thought that too but if an entrepreneur can help me out, that’s great.

Zero tolerance for violence against women (or anyone). Any breaches taken so seriously it's a massive deterrant for any potential offenders.

Not sure how much this would help but I carry a can of Deep Heat spray in my pocket at all times.
I feel a lot safer knowing I can burn the bastards eyes so badly he has to go to hospital where I could track him down like Jason with the hockey mask and switch off his life support.
Excessive I know, but I'm so sick and tired of never ever ever feeling safe. Not in my whole life have I ever not looked around, watched over my shoulder or had that feeling of fear when alone with strange men.
After a lifetime of it I'm done !