What ideas would help improve women and girls’ safety day to day?

[girlfriend44]

Ladies and girls safety ideas/ Chat.

Just a brainstorming chat.

What would ladies like to see set up or like to see that helps women and their safety.

The ladies taxi service is a good one. I don't see any lady taxi drivers though. I'm.not sure they want to do it in a big way?
Would any of you want to do it?
Think there are already female only gyms not sure? We've got ask Angela in some venues for help.

How about a messaging app where you can message or text another lady on your journey home to say your safe and your home, your in the taxi etc, just a reassuring thing.

I guess people can already do that and text friends and family. Would there be any need for a separate service?
Do all ladies tell all friends and family what they are doing all the time?

What would you like to see out there?
What do you think ladies would use?

I love to try and think stuff up or see what people would use.

There is so much around ladies and girls safety today?

More female leadership. Female political leadership at every level. Encouragement of female leadership in schools. If women were in charge at every level of society things would start to change

i think the Stopcocks are still going - female plumbing franchise.

Getting women into these trades would be great, but that relies on their trainers not joining with the misogynistic abuse the trainees would get.

Meta glasses - men not allowed to have them but women can.

Preventative measures are good. Early and ongoing education. No "oh boys will be boys" bullshit. Believe women and girls. etc etc

Public information adverts re consent

This has already been done in schools and there is the new curriculum coming out as well.

I would like there to be a blind eye to women concealed carrying a lethal weapon personally.

Oh, and pull apart the police and start again.
Without the murderers and rapists.
Would I feel safe approaching a policeman for help?
No.

Here, here.

if you carry a lethal weapon (gun, knife, etc) the chances are unless you are trained not only to use it but also prevent someone getting it off you, it is more of a danger than a safety net.

Yes, I did a personal safety course and their advice was to scream/run as no female can overpower a man, and a weapon can just be wrenched off you.

Many years ago in my parents’ road a lady surprised a burglar and hid behind the door with a poker. He just grabbed it, hit her over the head and she was brain damaged :(

Oh I know how to use it, don't worry!

I do agree, wholeheartedly, that a woman is highly unlikely to be able to fight off a man if she is unarmed, however.

I was thinking this. Never mind this rubbish about men being let out early because there’s no room.

What we need is a society wide acknowledgement that men are a social problem and less crying from mothers that this disadvantages their male child and what about the poor boyz all the time. We are in a crisis of male violence. Having fewer immigrants would help. We have had more than enough demographic change.

Other practical help may be more women judges and more acknowledgement of the impact on women of male violence. Less crap about the futures of the poor boyz and time out for good behaviour. No more judges who are willing to say of premeditated gang rapists that they behaved well in court so are clearly good lads at root.

I get the point, but it does happen though. There were women warriors throughout history especially in north Eurasia. I worry about the impact of painting women as increasingly helpless.

well bully for you, you are very gung ho.

The simple fact is that if you don't want to end up dead, don't carry a lethal weapon.

I speak as someone who is very well trained in not only self defence and weapon handling but has been trained in knife fighting etc.

It is not a question of “painting women as increasingly helpless” - women are helpless in the face of a man with ill-intent. Otherwise we’re back to the old thing of why can’t trans men participate in women’s sport. Because even a weedy man has more power than a muscly woman!

And as for women warriors - yes, maybe in a tribe with weapons against a few men - but one woman - however warrior-like - nope, not a chance against a gang of rapists.

The problem with lethal weapons is at what point do you get them out and at what point do you use them? E.g.if in a lift with someone looking at you funny do you get the gun out then, or do you wait until they make a sudden movement towards you pull it out and fire. Because they could just be reaching for the lift button which would be unfortunate.
I'm not against women in dangerous situations carrying guns. Its just that pulling a gun is by its nature extreme escalation and in most cases most people would be unwilling to pull it out and use it until it's potentially too late. Not because of being a coward just because of how most interactions work. Whereas other methods of self defense, creating space, not letting people into your personal space while loudly shouting get back please, a knee to the balls etc are all things that can be naturally escalated to. It's still takes training/practice to not be "polite" but I think the mental barrier to pulling a gun on someone before they have actually grabbed you/shown they are willing to attack you is always going to be too high in most conversations. And you do need to pull the gun out and possibly shoot them before they are in your personal space because at that point the guns not useful. Not saying it can't ever help, just that in most real life situations where women are attacked it wouldn't help. And carries with it the risk of a toddler etc accidentally discharging it (to be useful you would need to have it loaded, ready to use and very close by eg in your handbag. Which is also prime toddler snooping territory).

We should be allowed pepper spray as a defensive aid and it's ridiculous that that is classed as a firearm. Though even then it's not going to be great against a creepy guy in a lift.

Yes, I saw something about the tube last night.

So, as someone who apparently is able to use a weapon effectively, you think you'd be better off without? That makes no sense.

Just deport all the illegals for a start.

So if you feel menaced by a man at what point do you pull your gun out of your handbag? Or do you enter every room in full combat readiness, sweeping the area for threats gun drawn before declaring the area clear and holstering your weapon? Guns are a good long range weapon. At close distances they are worse than useless because they can be grabbed and used against you. While it's rare for UK police to carry weapons those that do are expected to keep people out of gun grabbing range for that reason.
In real life, potential abductors don't say "stand and deliver I shall now kidnap you" from a distance and then wait politely for you to pull your gun from your handbag/ankle holster etc. Or start running at you from a distance zombie style. The threat level to draw and then use a gun has to be very high and even then most people need extensive training to be able to do it smoothly and successfully. It's not just a case of learning to shoot at targets. By the time that threat level has been reached, the potential attacker is too close anyway.

Even learning how to scream loudly in a bad situation or to kick someone is hard for many women. Partly because we are socialised to be polite and not make a scene. The best defense training works at overriding this:

1. Not getting into an elevator with someone you have a bad feeling about because you don't want to be rude
2. Being confident enough to defend your personal space by loudly saying get back from me, knocking arms away
3. Screaming or shouting without feeling bad for "making a scene"
4. Kicking someone in the balls hard enough to hurt them while shouting

None of these come naturally to many people.

I think "drawing a gun and pointing it in someone's face" is an extreme, last resort action and having it as the primary answer to a threat is a bad idea because the threshold for doing it is so high. By the time you actually reach the "threat bad enough to shoot someone" stage it's probably too late to reliably shoot them. I'm not saying no woman should ever carry a gun. I'm not ideologically opposed to guns. But holding them up as the best way to keep women safe is to misunderstand the threats facing women and how they present themselves.

Definitely ban porn. And have women only communities where women can get away from the male gaze and all that stuff. I met up with my friend and her 97 year old dad I hadn’t seen since I was 14, so around 50 years ago and would you bloody believe it? He touched me up. God, does it ever stop? Why do men see women as “things” that are put on earth just for them? Men really are gross 🤮.

Because I have read so many studies on why carrying a lethal weapon escalates things. Often fatally for the victim.

It is FAR better to take preventive measures as many pp have indicated.

I was good in my training etc, but as one of 2 women in most of my courses, well aware hat in terms of strength and speed I fell short of the least good male colleague.

Safety is also about knowing your own limitations and weaknesses.

I would like to see the actual statistics - for example if x% of attacks /killings are domestic incidents it’s who you are with not where you go.
are city centres on a Saturday night a risk ?
are areas with many immigrant hotels more dangerous
But they won’t do this in case it’s deemed racist

The men that women need to be protected from most often are the ones they live with. There needs to be more help so that women can afford to leave violent men and more assurance that violent men will not receive custody of children. Increasing benefits for single mothers is rarely popular, however.

This isn’t just an issue that can be tackled in schools. A whole societal change is needed and that takes generations 😔