Special presents for 18th for a girl who doesn’t like grand gestures

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DD is coming up to 18 and various family members are looking for advice/ideas as they would like to get her something special but not waste money on an unwanted gift.

DD says she can’t think of anything she has her heart set on or would like as a keepsake. She rejects ideas about jewellery as she likes to get hers from charity shops (ditto clothes). Not interested in designer labels.

We have got her tickets to a show she’s desperate to see and will also get her something to keep from us; however advising the older generations who could really do with some guidance is becoming quite onerous. Obviously I am grateful for their interest and understand their wish to get it right.

Thinking back to my own 18th last century, people bought me jewellery, an ornament, special sets of books.

Any advice gratefully received! I would say budgets range from £50-£100 for the givers.

Towards a special trip? Holiday vouchers?

I think that's really tricky. If she doesn't want jewellery then something "special" that will last is hard. If I look back, at 18 I was about to go to university and the things that would have meant the most to me then were things to help with that, which would have cost me money otherwise. Perhaps you could suggest to the relatives that they buy things for that now and save the "keepsakes" for her 21st as she may have more of an idea then. Honestly, if I was going into self-catering halls now I would love an entire set of herbs and spices (expensive to buy), some ingredients and equipment for baking - being the cookie or cake maker is a good way to make friends! Or, is there a sport she is into, like a new tennis or padel racquet?

Maybe an experience to make memories instead. What is she into?

I would imagine vouchers towards a holiday she wouldn’t otherwise be able to go on would be meaningful? Eg Eurostar voucher. Someone else could give some euros?

Or- boring but meaningful- money for her savings account!

I got my daughter some Sabatier knives as she loves to cook and these should last a lifetime. Slightly niche 😂 but you never know!

I got a carriage clock (maybe for 21st) which I was completely baffled by but mum told me it was a traditional posh coming-of-age present.

There is nothing I would have wanted more than money, especially from my older relatives whose tastes were the polar opposite of mine.

How about taking her to a vintage jewellers and getting her a lovely watch or something with diamonds or her birthstone in it. The relatives can contribute to that.

Would they be happy to put money into a savings account that she could then use for a holiday, new laptop for uni or whatever when the time comes?

@BingoWingsBeGone I wanted to suggest good quality knives as I think that's a great lifelong gift, but with all the life crime I suddenly thought maybe that's not a good idea for an 18 year old. Sad, isn't it.

As she likes the theatre then how about theatre tickets.
It doesn’t have to be a ‘thing’.
Is she going to university then how about vouchers that would be useful there?

If she likes vintage clothes/jewellery everyone could put in together and she could choose a special item that is perhaps a little more expensive than she'd usually think of or a special trip to a place where they have a great vintage market.

A more expensive perfume than she would usually use. I know Le Labo do bottles with the recipients name printed on the label, which she might like.

Thinking of personalised gifts, Heinz do bottles of ketchup, cans of baked beans etc with a name printed on the label. Maybe that would make her smile, especially if accompanied by a cheque!

Pair of Dr Martens.

My DD would've loved a tea pot and selection of teas. Or a coffee maker.

My daughter recently turned 18.
To be honest we suggested money.
She does like jewellery but it's stuff she finds in charity shops or cheap costume jewellery (she misses Claire's Accessories 😁).
She wouldn't have wanted an expensive keepsake piece.
She does read a lot and asked for specific books.
If your girl does like reading then a selection of popular novels from the year she was born can be fun.
(Unfortunately 2008 does include Twilight as a best seller 😂)

"knife crime" not "life crime" obviously!

How much do you reckon you're talking in total from the relatives?

One option is a single decent quality useful thing that would last for years - a quality item of luggage or proper rucksack, a great blanket/quilt, a small handwoven rug, a top quality pan, a hand-knitted jumper, a wool coat. Any of these things would last her a very long time and could be a treasure in her future. Don't get designer labels, get craftsmanship.

I totally understand her feelings about jewellery, if it isn't her style it's a waste of money.

Premium bonds. I know of someone who recently won £50k on a relatively small holding. Gives a lifetime of anticipation!

For example, a quality British-made duffel coat would be amazing for the right person, if it's their style.

Based on DD's experience in her hall, don't bring expensive kitchen equipment unless she stores it only in her room.

I would go for money to fund a trip.

Or - if she like vintage jewellery, would she buy a more expensive piece? DD buys a lot of quirky ones from Etsy or market stalls but she got money for her 16th and we took her to an antique fair and she chose a ring there. For her it's more that it is unique then a high street/brand name shop.

This will be really cheap but if she has a country or city that she loves, a guidebook from the year she was born might go down really well. If a city, the Time Out ones are brilliant and will cost around £2-5. And then add in some money?

You could encourage them to sponsor a charity in her name. Oxfam Unwrapped helps agricultural projects or they could adopt an endangered animal through the World Wildlife Fund. These are just examples but there are loads more you could look at online. She will be able to follow the particular initiative.

Birthdate newspaper.

Driving lessons or money towards a car (or insurance!)
Book and music vouchers or money for a gig or band
Magazine subscription
Deliveroo credit or money on food shopping cart somewhere she uses
Investment money - put somewhere like ISA or NS&I or let her pick some stocks and shares. I say this after reading women do better at investing than men this week in the news.

For my 18th, my older sister bought me a beautiful copy of the Oxford Book of Quotations. I still have it, nearly forty years later.

Surely she’s interested in something?! I think Money is great but what about holiday money?

You can get some beautiful books- clothbound classics- which I really hanked for as a late teen. You have everything from Jane Austen, to the Great Gatsby, Charlotte's Web, Secret Garden, Far from the Madding Crowd, Wuthering Heights, Neverending Story, Little Women, the Scarlet Letter etc. I'd have loved to be gifted one or two of these at 18. They are about £8- £10 each. E.g.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/9124425893/ref=sspa_dk_detail_0?psc=1&pd_rd_i=9124425893&pd_rd_w=V3kDB&content-id=amzn1.sym.67a7787e-69bd-4913-9670-239f61f2c206&pf_rd_p=67a7787e-69bd-4913-9670-239f61f2c206&pf_rd_r=MRPF1EGCZJ9C5B44V871&pd_rd_wg=1v9lN&pd_rd_r=f165dfa8-fafe-4c0e-af8d-f56df5bc265e&aref=vH2ROx6LvV&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9kZXRhaWw