Special presents for 18th for a girl who doesn’t like grand gestures

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DD is coming up to 18 and various family members are looking for advice/ideas as they would like to get her something special but not waste money on an unwanted gift.

DD says she can’t think of anything she has her heart set on or would like as a keepsake. She rejects ideas about jewellery as she likes to get hers from charity shops (ditto clothes). Not interested in designer labels.

We have got her tickets to a show she’s desperate to see and will also get her something to keep from us; however advising the older generations who could really do with some guidance is becoming quite onerous. Obviously I am grateful for their interest and understand their wish to get it right.

Thinking back to my own 18th last century, people bought me jewellery, an ornament, special sets of books.

Any advice gratefully received! I would say budgets range from £50-£100 for the givers.

Ds was the same, couldn’t think of anything special for his 18th. We bought him some smaller gifts (a football shirt with his name and 18 on the back, a bottle of rum), a set of cuff links made from coins from the year he was born (he has a cuff link obsession though) and his favourite present: an Odeon Limitless membership. For his 19th he asked for another year of Limitless, he loves the cinema and it’s been great for him while at university to be able to go as often as he likes.

I wanted to buy dd1 something really special, like a diamond bracelet, for her 18th, but as she correctly pointed out, she’d probably only lose or break it. So in the end it was cash for ‘experiences’ - which was a summer holiday with her friends.

If she’s not bothered then just an ordinary gift. I have never liked jewellery and yet relatives (including my parents) insisted on buying it for me at 18. It was a massive waste of money and I never wore it.

Ditto for 21st. Buying a present should be for the recipient and, whilst I appreciated that people had spent money, I was disappointed that the gift was more for tradition than with any thought for me.

I Got a lovely picture for my 18th. I've treasured it and I will have it forever x

Of all the keepsake presents I've had, a sewing machine was one of the best 👌

Just give her the cash if you’re really struggling. She sounds incredibly sensible ’s not going to fritter it away. At least that way when there is something she wants she can go and do it. Better that than being given a gift she has no want or need for just because it’s traditional.

She clearly doesn’t want a keepsake - why do people insist on getting something that the recipient doesn’t want? The fact they will be spending that amount of money is even more of a waste.

Premium bonds? Or is that too dull?

Why not get what they would normally get for her?

If she’s not into clothes and jewellery, or doesn’t collect premium bonds, then it’s quite thoughtless.

What about something practical such as a new phone?

Sorry but I have to ask - if you don’t know what your daughter would like, isn’t asking strangers online a little random? Presumably you know her best?

For my 18th we sent everyone a postcard size piece of card and asked them to write/draw/otherwise make me a postcard that reminded me of them. I put them in a postcard album and took them to uni to look at when I was missing people from home.

What about a class in clothes making /adjusting and a sewing machine? She could pimp up her charity shop clothes, make them fit perfectly etc. Only if she’d be interested. I did one at my local adult college over 3 days.

Why not just ask her, OP? She’s about to become an adult and as such it’s her choice.

I have asked but she finds it stressful, as if she’s demanding something she doesn’t need. She’s just not materialistic I guess and that isn’t necessarily compatible with us looking for meaningful gifts. There are a lot of potentials here though - I am going to look into the create your own perfume one and an annual cinema pass first off!

Does she enjoy art? Along with the sewing course, you could pay for an interesting print or bookbinding workshop.

A good small case is great, can last for years. Or a backpack if that suits better.

Well maybe it is as several on this thread have suggested it but personally I really wouldn't have been impressed with something so boring at 18 😂

Nothing boring about travelling!

If she can’t think of anything then are you sure that these ideas would be what she wants? Can you not just do something low key as she clearly doesn’t want to make a big deal out of it? She should get to decide as she is going to be a fully fledged adult.

If any of these had been presented to me at that age, I would have gone along with them for politeness but would have hated them.

But then I was also talked into an 18th birthday party which was excruciating!

If the recipient doesn’t want them, it’s just a waste of money and puts pressure on the recipient to go along with them.

A relative bought me a suitcase when I was 18. I haven’t used it to this day, in fact I think I lost it several house moves ago!

Travel may appeal to some but a suitcase is a fairly dull present.

A suitcase is a dull present for a person who doesn't want one.
A suitcase is a great present for someone who wants one.

Every present is about the person receiving, obviously.

Of course. And it doesn’t sound like the DD is that bothered about anything.

Even to the most enthusiastic traveller, a suitcase is surely just something to transport your stuff though? Or do people get excited about them?

I guess everyone is different. For people who are not very materialistic or don't like 'stuff', then useful quality items can be a good option.

If the DD finds it stressful to be asked then I think her family should step back and not make a big deal out of her 18th. It’s not fair to put her under pressure when the birthday is supposed to be about her.

It becomes more about the rest of the family.