What wouldn't you admit out loud ?

[2ndNatureTime]

Im sure they'll be lots of judgement on here as always but here we go

I really wish I hadn't married my 1st husband. He was a loser and still is.
I find 99% of kids so dull

I don’t care. She could have got help and chose not to. It’s nothing compared to what she left me and my siblings to find. You leave behind a huge mess, both literally and emotionally for everyone. When you become a parent you don’t put yourself first anymore, you put your kids first. Suicide is the epitome of selfish because it’s all about you.

In fact she chose to do it to spite my Dad (she’d found messages the day before of him messaging another woman, sent us to school and then killed herself and left a scathing note and for us to find her as well as printing off the messages) so it wasn’t even about her. It was to one up him.

I have a whole different life in my head. I go visit it when I am doing something mundane or can't sleep. It's not that I don't like a lot about my life, I just wish I had been more, and different and better, and in my "inside life" I am. I get to be the person I wish I was and am completely unable to be in the real world.

I am disappointed that my children are not exceptional. I love them, but I really thought they could be. They are not that old and it's very apparent that they aren't.

That I had to think how to reply when my 5yo asked me whether she was more important than our dog that died recently (on balance she was, but it wasn't a given, I had to think).

I know on all counts I am a bad person. Which takes me back to item 1 ...

I think anyone who has 2 under 2 is selfish. Your first baby is still such a baby and still needs you so much at that age

I’m not diagnosed with AdHD
but if I were at school now I’d definitely be put forwards for a diagnoses . My parents just called me a fidget bum and my lack of maths skills beyond the absolute basics was woeful.
ds 1 has dyspraxia ( diagnosed ) but he functions , passed exams and can get on with life. He found it hard as a teen , but you do sometimes have to get on with it too and learn to overcome certain challenges.
I have never felt that I have fitted in with other women mostly. Find life hard going at times I must admit! Sometimes I think I’ll be pleased when it’s over and I’m not depressed at all, just jaded with a life that gets harder as you age..

I fantasise about winning £40,000 on some kind of lottery so I can pay off my debt. Nobody knows about my debt. It fills me with dread every morning. Another 5 years and I’ll be free of it.

They're not necessarily thick but they are lazy.

And they are absolute twats when they think they've won the argument because they got ChatGPT or, God help us, Grok, to say so. Actually, those people are thick.

I agree with this.

I hate my SIL’s DH with a real passion. He’s a weird man child who still thinks he’s 6 years old. He has no clue about social etiquette and is a pain to be around. He’s stuck in some strange 1970/1980 time loop where holidays, food and his general living is concerned. He’s a weirdo.

I've said this aloud about all my parents.

I agree with OP that suicide is the epitome of human selfishness but this thread is for saying things you would never say out loud so it’s not for you to criticise what she says.

She’s allowed to post that she thinks her own Mother is selfish for what she did, she clearly isn’t saying it out loud as per the thread.

I don’t think you should be lecturing PP for her lived experience

I like sandwiches that have gone a bit soggy with tomato

Often suicide is a death caused as a result of mental illness, how is it any different if you die from an illness?

Yes exactly, I don’t say it out loud. That’s the whole point of the thread isn’t it?

I really struggle with it but I smile and nod when everyone says how brave she was. I put a memory chair up for her at my wedding even though I didn’t want to as she should have been there. I honour her memory every anniversary even though I don’t think she deserves it. I tell my children about her even though I don’t particularly want to. I swallow my thoughts and I act how society wants me to because I don’t say it out loud.

One of my siblings actively feels this way and speaks it out loud and it has caused real tension in my extended family because of it.

That I hate my MIL. She is super rich - multi millionaire - with an income of at least £10k a month, and she lavishes it ALL on herself. Her daughter (my SIL) lives in a tiny house in an awful (dangerous) part of town, and doesn't have a pot to piss in. Scrimping and saving, not able to put the heating on, no treats ever - and all the while MIL is jet setting to exotic holidays, always in business class....with not one thought for her DD and grandkids welfare. MIL lives in a 6 bed mansion, and has several sports cars. On the rare occasions we meet up for a meal, MIL will let DH and SIL pay. Honestly, whenever I see her face, I feel the RAGE (but never show it obvs). DH and me are ok for money, but it would be nice to have been given a treat here and there. But no, we've never been given a bean. She's almost 80 now, and still has no thoughts of gifting money to avoid inheritance tax. Also, she never asks me about my adult children, who she's known since they were in primary school. Never asks after them, even after big life events like marriage and moving countries. If I mention them she stares into space and then maneuvers the conversation back to her. Grrrr.

People who cannot use too, to and two or you’re and your correctly should be banned from making any social media posts

I am jealous of my friends whose children have successfully navigated uni and a career

I hate those big bows parents put on young babies

I never pay for bags for life

I wish my children would leave home

I wish I had only had 1 child

i look at right move and choose the small terraced house I would like to live in when I am on my own.

Yes, he was always presented as some kind of techno/science genius.
Hes a wealthy businessman who employs actual geniuses.

He had enough brains to become an entrepreneur! 🤣

Oh, I have more.

I don't really mind my husband's lack of faithfulness. I'm difficult to be married to and at the moment I'm butt ugly (I don't want to have sex because I wouldn't want to have sex with me), I doubt he'd ever really leave, it is usually romantic rather than physical, and it is easier to just ignore it. I accept it as something he needs; I'm sad I can't give him it but I'm happy that he is able to get what he needs somewhere else.

Quite often I am genuinely terrified that I am dying of something. I know that I am not, but I still worry about it.

I can't remember the last time I felt properly well; I have some medical issues, but I don't know if I really do - maybe I'm just pathetic and everyone feels like this? That's certainly what my Mum thinks ...

I am planning how I am going to move into a cottage with dogs and horses when my children move out. Husband can stay or go, it's up to him, but that is what I am going to do. My youngest is 5. It is a long-term plan.

I don't believe in my career anymore. I keep trying, but my heart's not in it.

That people who have multiple children with small age gaps often don’t meet the emotional needs of those children. It’s like achieving an arbitrary number of children without thinking if you have capacity to nurture them all to a good standard.

And that having siblings isn’t automatically better than not if it means your parents are overstimulated and parenting badly as a result.

The easiest way to make a huge fortune is to start with a small one.

Because if you get hit by a car or die from cancer you don’t leave behind a sea of people wondering if they could have done something to help, wondering if it was their fault, wondering why you chose to leave. You don’t actively choose to leave behind a wife and children. You don’t leave your children wondering why they weren’t good enough for you to stay.

I’ve been sectioned from mental health problems in the past and it’s knowing what it would do to my children that has kept me in the world. I’ve felt the agony of life but I know the agony of losing their Mother won’t even compare. It’s not just mental health that makes people commit suicide. It’s debt etc. So many people do it to escape issues that are temporary and decide to deal with it with a permenant solution. My friends Dad managed to sustain a second loan against their house, couldn’t afford it and instead of telling his wife he killed himself. She had to deal with it by herself. That was beyond selfish and until you know why someone’s done it, you shouldn’t be criticising the family member for calling it selfish.

Of course it’s different. There’s been so many times I’ve wanted to step out of life but I have responsibilities. Choosing to make that choice makes it an innately selfish act. Suicide is all about yourself and nobody else.

But why are you questioning what she’s saying? The whole point of the thread is to say stuff you wouldn’t say out loud.

Sorry I was supposed to quote @6ate9 there.

I agree with this - because I did it. We were out of time because of infertility and ended up with three with small age gaps. I wasn't after an arbitrary number, I just desperately wanted them - all of them. I wanted at least one more, but I can't cope well as it is. This weekend my 7 yo asked me why I had had them when I obviously wasn't up to the job.

I did not have a good answer.

But we are where we are.

I know I’m not the only one who thinks it.

After it happened, once my grief had died down I was sent to a support group for teens who had lost a parent to suicide and this was the most common theme. We were all so angry.

The worst part is you can never say it out loud as people will always criticise you for it. I mean look at this thread- you’re supposed to say what you wouldn’t say out loud and already people are criticising it.