What wouldn't you admit out loud ?

[2ndNatureTime]

Im sure they'll be lots of judgement on here as always but here we go

I really wish I hadn't married my 1st husband. He was a loser and still is.
I find 99% of kids so dull

Can you ask your son not to smoke weed in your home?

I judge my neighbours' car choices but would never say anything .
We live rurally. Without fail each household has a large 4x4 driven solely by the male and a very small car driven by the female. At least half the women have a daily commute of more than 30 miles, while their husband has a couple of miles or wfh.
I am also irritated by people who drive but can't or won't; drive on motorways, narrow roads, somewhere they've never been etc. Unfortunately these are mainly women .

My late husband had a similar attitude to shops around Christmas,he had seen that many many years ago London stores would open just for the Queen to Christmas shop and he wanted the same I think!

That when people say, and they do say it quite a lot, that I look deep in concentration… that I am in my head actually back in the year 2000 dancing bare foot in the sand at a full moon party in Koh Phangan in Thailand at 3 am… that actually where I go in my head.. I can still feel the sand beneath my feet and the music and I am smiling and everyone is happy, and then especially at work… someone will ask me a question and I will just say ‘ that was a really good point, I do agree in some ways, but I would like to hear more about your view and also hear from our more junior team members…’
but really I have no idea what anyone said and I just want them to repeat it.
i am senior management,

I don't struggle financially. We have more than enough to pay the mortgage and bills, save regularly and pay extra into our pensions. It seems to be a badge of honour to be struggling these days. Average income too not a mumsnet family income.

Barely a day goes by where I don't fantasise that I have Bernard's Watch (iykyk) and all the things I would do

With you in the trenches xx

Definitely going to try the talking skeleton thing.

I do not like my adopted disabled brother

I find people who self identify as “introverts” tedious and self indulgent.

The vast majority of them aren’t actually introverts they are moany, antisocial people who have lost their social skills because they never bother going out and then wonder why they don’t know how to talk to people.

And also they seem to expect some sort of protected characteristic status for having poor social skills. And lastly because its just really boring listening to people banging on about “being an introvert”.

@NCOneDayOnly I had a friend like that who could talk for hours on the phone. Eventually I started telling her I could only talk for say, half an hour, or that I wasn't free to talk that evening etc. Within two weeks, she'd decided that the friendship 'wasn't working' for her and she never rang again. The relief was fantastic and I wondered why I hadn't been more straight with her sooner.

The internet has made them socially stunted and they think it's introversion. They also have some ridiculous idea that introverts are quiet deep thinkers and extroverts are loud, brash and attention seeking. They don't know what they're talking about.

I think it’s very likely you are depressed.

I don't; it was a pp.

That I regret my children. I know how awful that sounds, but its complicated.

My STBEXH came out as gay last year after 8 years married, together 10 years, and it's absolutely destroyed me. I'm so angry he's used me and my fertile years to have kids. He had relationships with men before we got together, but didn't mention anything about to me at all.

I was happy and childfree before him. I never signed up to be a single parent yet found myself one and feel so trapped.

I wish I could go back and never marry him. I just feel my life is over. I know I could meet someone else, but I also know I will never trust anyone every again or put myself in that vulnerable position

Oh ok, just the thread is on stuff you wouldn't say out loud - I get you though.

And yet they still persist in talking about it as if it makes them more interesting.

🤣🤣🤣

So sorry to hear that. Sounds awful - we all seem to be in similar boats just for different reasons. Other people making shitty choices that fuck up our lives. Just doing our best now, until we die, aren't we.

I like my animals more than my kids
I have a horrible illness and if I didn't have my kids would be gone
I have a friend I'm not sure if actually like
I find this new generation of 'autistic' young women, with walking sticks for their pots/eds/mcas etc with brightly coloured hair who are trans/pan/bi whatever very tiresome 🙄

I've become actively suicidal in the last year.

I've had many depressive times in my life, I've had suicidal ideation since I was a young child, but it was always the passive belief I'd heard others tell me - that they would be happier if I was gone, that it would be a relief for others not to be burdened by me - along with the passing thoughts around what could kill me.

About a year ago, I started having ideas about death as relief for me rather than others for the first time. Some days, it's only been reminding myself of the things I've not yet done, usually for/with my kids and husband, that keeps me back. Some days I swing between existential dread of not having enough time for all I want to do and thinking it sounds nice, peaceful, that peaceful is all I want. Never had either before about a year ago.

I haven't even brought myself to be able to tell the new AI chatbots my local services use for mental health care, as I fear the consequences of admitting it to anyone or anything with official capacity or to my loved ones.

The only thing that's really changed is the new job I started about 18 months ago, a job where 95% of people are fine, work goes well most of the time, but that 5% of colleagues do seem to wear me down a lot more than they really should, it feels like constant mental gymnastics trying to work with them. I've become concerned I'm going to get my death wish from the stress of that 5%.

I'll also admit that a colleague made me cry this week. I'm in my 40s, over sensitive, and crying in the work toilet this week because a manager had asked me help a new colleague as the person who was with her was busy with a member of the public, and while I was helping, busy person stormed up, snatched the paper out of my hand and snapped at me as she continued to storm past, a colleague who otherwise ignores me and has made it clear since well before I got the promotion over her mentee (who tried to wing the interview) that she wants nothing to do with me and that I don't belong here. I don't like that it impacted me that much, I seem to have lost the ability to let it wash over me all that in the last year. I can grey rock/blank it for a moment, then once I can leave, I'm falling apart. I want to stop caring about the 5%'s rudeness and enjoy the rest, I just can't seem to get my brain to go with that anymore. This incident was reported by the first manager who saw it and that I left upset to my manager, but when my manager asks if I'm okay/if there is anything she can do, I've no idea what to say so I just smile and say I'm okay now. No point adding to her workload for what feels like school bullshit.

I am happily married. Late 40s. Great home and career. Lovely kids. Sometimes I feel I only want to be around a few more years.

No.

The common denominator is your DH’s gene pool. Did either of your DH’s parents or any siblings have mental health challenges?

It is more likely that what links you r son and DH is that you are the core positive in both their lives, the reason they are both still here

Xx