Home security cameras and MIL

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We have had security cameras fitted at our new home that we moved into 3 months ago. They record all around the outside of the house and parts of inside but just by external doors and our home offices. There are none in our family’s actual living space.

My MIL has kicked up a huge fuss saying that she doesn’t want to be recorded and is refusing to come to our house unless we get rid old them or turn them off when she’s here which we won’t be doing. We have asked what exactly the problem is and she just says she doesn’t want to be recorded in our home but can’t or won’t really say why.

Would you have a problem with the cameras? If so, what would be your concerns as I’m trying to understand what MILs issue is.

My partner has them in our house in the kitchen facing the door, study facing the cars, garden and technically the bedroom (to talk to and calm the dog if he got stressed when we went to the gym for an hour when he was little), isnt on when dog isnt there. I'm not a huge fan cos he uses it to talk to me if hes away n it scares the crap out of me when it blares out. Also makes me self conscious of talking to my mates as he will listen to the convos. I tolerate as makes him less anxious but I wouldn't have them personally

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Just point out to her that every time she goes to the supermarket, shopping centre, walks through town or visits most shops she will be on camera!

That's completely different. You're caught on camera in passing, and they don't record sound. Spending the entire day in a house where you know you are on camera would be very unsettling for me. It's difficult to explain the reason.
I've been into the house of an acquaintance who has a camera in the living room. No idea why. But she always turns it off when she has visitors anyway, so I think most reasonable people wouldn't need an explanation as to why it makes some uncomfortable. You can't reassure someone about a feeling they have, it won't make it go away.

Why don't you turn them off when you have friends over? No way would I let my boyfriend listen to my chats with friends

Nah, it's weird to want to film people inside your house.

I wouldn't visit you either.

Are handbags kept in view of the cameras? What I initially thought I wouldn't like was being seen adjusting underwear/bra straps and taking a pad out of my bag. Now it's having every conversation recorded. I've often had to sort out payments in other people's houses when baby/pet sitting. I've had to read out debit card details etc. Or phone the doctors. I'd limit visits to houses with audio. I live in an apartment block and have to remind myself I'm on camera when waiting downstairs for my shopping to be delivered. I don't know if they can see me signing into online banking/PayPal etc. As well as just wanting privacy.

If you gave a toss about your mother in law you'd turn the indoor cameras off while she's there, which I suspect doesn't happen very often anyway. That would still leave you with the outdoor cameras and with, you know, door and window locks and, I'm guessing, a burglar alarm, plus you would all be in. We have a lock on the door and nothing else and manage to cope.
With this level of paranoia you must either live in South Africa or have the crown jewels in your house. Or perhaps someone has a control problem. Just reading this freaks me out.

She would hate our house as we have cameras inside on doors as well as the kids playroom, our offices, garages and kitchen. Most of my friends have similar setups so it’s normal to us.

Explain that in your house she will hardly be on camera, but if she isn’t ok with that, just accept that she can’t visit. It’s your house and the feelings of the people that live there matter more than family/friends/guests who visit.

It’s unusual that she is good with tracking you on her phone but has an issue with this.

Im not going to keep replying to posts like this. I’m wanting to understand from anyone that wouldn’t like cameras, why that is, not to argue about cameras themselves

It feels very intrusive. Causes discomfort. It's difficult to explain. It's a feeling.
No amount of reassurance can make that feeling go away.

It would also make me seriously worried about the people who were living there.

what do you have them for

It's not normal to be so worried about another burglary that you can't temporarily turn off inside cameras when your MIL visits

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do you need consent to record people in houses? i had to sign a consent form at work

Security and deterrent mostly, but if we are at work we can check on our kids and pets. There was a spate of burglaries near us in similar houses and our friend in the police force recommended cameras as they had been useful in other areas that had similar gangs operating.

If you read all OP'S posts, you would know that their home security cameras caught previous burglars on camera, they were identified and charged, and a lot of the stolen property was recovered.
The burglary took place while OP was at home.
Other burglars fled when they saw an internal camera in the room they were breaking into.
So that answers your "what are you hoping to achieve" question quite comprehensively.

She doesn’t trust you and you can’t force someone to trust you with a conversation so it seems like you’re stuck really.

if you can leave the kids at home alone, they must be teens?

god i would have hated that as a teenager.i would find somewhere that was not recorded by a camera and always sit there

If you love her then turn them off. When she grew up there was no surveillance. People read 1984 and had a dim view of it. I doubt I'm as old as your MiL but it creeps me out too.

I also think you might feel better yourself if you relaxed and trusted more. House breaking is very, very rare these day. Your MiL may not like her son to be in a paranoid and closed off state if that wasn't how he was brought up. It would upset me if my children had that mentality . I want them to be confident, sharing and giving people without fear. So I guess it mohht run deeper.

Just be loving and trusting snd show her his to turn them off when she enters and turn them on again when she leaves. Make a big thing about hoe you are doing it out of respect for her so that she returns the respect and turns them back on. I'd imagine she'll feel uncared for if you don't respect this and just try to force your pov on her.

I don't think it's hard to understand. It feels uncomfortable, intrusive, invasion of privacy. How would you feel if someone was sat silently staring at you? If someone sat across the street recording you on their phone?
We're so used to being recorded now that we've forgot that it is an invasion of privacy. I hated it when ring doorbells became popular, knowing I'm being recorded just walking down the street and people are getting a close up of me when I knock on their door.

My ExH got cameras installed around our house after an attempted daytime burglary.

i fucking hated them - you’d never know when he was watching and he used to tell the teens off from them. They hated them too.

incredibly intrusive.

For whatever reason the cctv makes the MIL’s skin crawl. Maybe it’s all irrational. Who knows. But she’s family, visiting might be the best part of her week, it seems awful that no accommodation can be made. I’m not saying you’re unreasonable, but clearly you are intelligent enough not to let this spiral further. Why not switch off the cameras when she visits and back on again after she’s gone. When your old, god knows what AI surveillance will be operating and you might well be asking your kids the same thing as her.

That makes no sense.

You said you had cameras outside so why didn’t they put the thieves off? Presumably, you also got their mug shots from the cameras outside the house?

I find it bizarre that the thieves ignored all the outside cameras, carried on breaking in and then spotted one indoor camera and suddenly thought “let’s scarper, the games up”. 🤔😳

Can I ask what you mean by 'security'? I understand outside of the property, I have some. And friends have indoor cameras for when the dogs are home alone - was a bloody marvellous when one dog accidentally started a fire!! But I don't understand what they would be needed for indoors when you're at home? Not being goody, genuine question.

Why are the external cameras not adequate? The burglars would have to enter from outside. Oh, yes I forgot, the internal ones were better at identifying the culprits and led to their apprehension. Why not get external cameras with the spec as the internal ones then. Surely anything is possible camera wise these days, if you are prepared to pay for them, which I am sure OP is for her peace of mind and security.

Bloody good external cameras plus top of the range house insurance would cover everything, and make for a happy MIL.

Somehow I doubt that will be an option here though. Better to have an unhappy MIL it seems, despite super duper alternative security arrangements being available 24/7 externally. Oh well.

Me too and I just know if they had been readily available back then, my stepdad would have had them installed and there wouldn't have been any privacy! He had baby monitors in place for years and my sisters were well into primary school (there's an age gap). I had to share a room with them until I was 21, so I was also baby monitored until I was 21! Every sound, movement, breath you make being listened to by somebody else, these cctv cameras are no different.

My friend has a 'dog cam' set up in her room and I put a cloth over it when I am there looking after him.

I understand why she has it when he is alone in the house but when I am there there is no security risk and I am looking after the dog.

I just feel self conscious and spied on and I don't like being potentially watched by someone when i can't see them.

It is totally different to CCTV in the street - so many people around it isn't focussing specifically on me and unless I commit a crime they won't be looking for me on the footage. Meanwhile I can see that it is for my safety and security that CCTV is in the street, shops etc.

In someone's occupied house it doesn't protect me, or them, unless they suspect I might be up to no good.

I understand why you have it when you are out but I would want you to turn it off while I was there, in the house. It's just totally OTT.