How do we ACTUALLY solve the rift between dog people and non-dog people?

[Talkingtomyhouseplants]

Inspired by yet another dog thread where all the SAME arguments are trotted out again and again:

The Pro Dog People say:

• The dog is my family, you need to treat it like family
• Why would I get a dog just to leave it at home?
• It’s just a dog, it’s not bothering anyone
• My dog is less annoying than your child
• I love my dog more than I love people
• The dogs are ALLOWED to be there so it’s okay that I bring them places
• If my dog isn’t invited, I would probably choose to stay home as I prefer most dogs to people anyway
• My house is my dog’s home too, I won’t be shutting it away for anyone
• My dog isn’t dangerous - he’s a bit softy.

The Anti Dog People Say

• I’m allergic/scared/don’t like being around them - please keep them away from me
• It’s a pet, not your family
• A dog is not a child
• I won’t have dogs in my house
• Dogs are dirty and unhygienic - they shouldn’t be in shops or places where you eat
• I’m sick of dogs barking and jumping up at me in public and I keep stepping in dog poo
• There are too many places that either actively allow dogs, or more often don’t challenge people who bring them anyway so dogs eventually become allowed
• Dog owners are entitled and pushy and this is why they are now suddenly everywhere
• It’s dangerous to have dogs around children
• Dogs can bite/kill people
• There are too many untrained dogs who are treated like people

Same arguments on both sides, every time.

In my personal life I can think of at least two situations where these opposing views are creating real rifts in families because the dog person wants to bring a dog, and the non-dog person doesn’t want to be around said dog. I can feel it becoming more polarising in society generally, anti dog people are more vocal about being anti dog and pro dog people are more pushy about full inclusion of dogs in human spaces.

So what is the actual solution?

Yes that is why I mentioned wet dog. My dog swims in the brook every day, so he is a wet dog. I dry him off when we get home, even though he has a big shake it off. I also give him a brush down when he has dried off. Now that is not me treating my dog like a human as some might think, it is basic dog hygiene. Dog owners also use enzyme toothpastes and ear shampoos (which does smell very nice). We do also shower our dogs if necessary. We wash their bedding and the food and water bowls.

I do think smelly dogs may also be a breed thing. Some dogs are prone to flatulence, some dogs drool, some dogs malt. They are all different and so generalisations that all homes of dog owners smell are just that.

I'm not really a dog person, I don't mind them but unless it's small and fluffy or a puppy I'm very meh about them.

On the whole the majority of dog owners I see around and about are very considerate. They pull them to the side if they see me running towards them (I always say thanks as I'm running past) I can't remember the last time one jumped up at me and I don't see much poo about. Nobody has tried to bring their dog to my house either.

There are exceptions because some people are knobs.

For me I think dog owners need to be in control over their dog, not let it jump at people or lunge at them, muzzle if it's a bite risk, only let it off lead in safe areas, don't take it to places it's not allowed or not invited.

I don't understand why some dog owners take reactive and aggressive dogs to the pub but to be fair I've only come across one person with a small dog that she was clinging onto for dear life as it was acting like it wanted to eat me. I think they need to stay at home when they are being trailed around in a busy public area where they are at risk of getting stood on.

I own a cat and there is a whole debate over them being allowed to roam free. Some people think it's unacceptable, some think indoor cats are unacceptable. I'm very much pro both sides, I have an outdoor cat but would prefer an indoor cat but it's not suited to our lifestyle because it would escape. If something is legal then I'm going to do it and try my best not to upset other people but in life you can't please everybody. Someone will always have a bee in their bonnet whatever choice you make.

We all just need to be courteous to others and live our lives within the law.

I think reasonable consideration for others goes a long way. I am a dog person, to the core. I love my dogs and most people would and do think that the lengths I go too for them are batshit.
That said, I would never expect to take them to someone else’s house (unless they were very specifically invited) they are extremely well trained and do not go near people or other dogs when out, they’d never jump up at a stranger, ever.
I do leave them with appropriate care when I go on holiday and I certainly don’t take them everywhere with me, I would NEVER take them to somewhere like John Lewis, because they’d be bored!
I do occasionally take some of them (the ones that will like it, many don’t) to dog friendly cafes and restaurants but they sleep on a blanket under the table and enjoy a few snacks, you wouldn’t know they were there, no barking or drooling or carrying on. I pick up after them and they cause no issues to anyone else, ever. So I do consider other people.
The flip side of that is that if you come to my house, I’m not putting them away, this is their and my home. I will take them to dog friendly cafes and if you don’t like that, pick one of the many that don’t allow dogs.
Does my house smell of dog? Probably, because I have a lot! But I hover and mop twice a day, change and wash sofa throws and dog beds daily (my dogs have their own washing machine and drier) so my house is not dirty. And if you don’t like dogs, don’t come!
And I do absolutely consider them to be my family. But I’m still not sure how that last one affects anyone else!

Someone is being unreasonable, the dog owner or the non dog owner. Or both. It is not the dogs fault.

There are people that don’t train their dogs and this is wrong. This will obviously cause or contribute to any rifts.

I live in a rural area, my city relatives visit and the first thing parents of young children say when they come into my house is “he/she is scared of dogs”. My dog is a rescue, he was abandoned and lived outside for how long we do not know until someone found him and we adopted him. He is a frightened little thing, but he has come along and is a happy un-smelly dog. Within a very short space of time all of the children that are “scared of dogs” are stroking him, whilst he leans on their legs. And so another bond has been formed.

We all know it is not the dog that is the problem. It is the owner.

I agree that often whether a dog smells or not is down to the breed. It is just ridiculous for people to say ALL dogs smell and therefore all homes with a dog smell. Have they been to a home of every breed in the world? Pretty sure they haven't.

I think this sums up part of the problem.

I don't mind dog's walking or running around, but I don't want strangers' dogs jumping up at me on walks, it doesn't matter if 'they're only being friendly', dog owners should train their dogs not to do it to anyone. Yes, it's unlikely they will knock me over, but that is not the point. It should never happen and if your dog does this then don't be surprised that people get arsey about it.

I live rurally and I find that country dogs tend to be better disciplined (the last time I went to Wandsworth Common it was fucking mayhem) but that's just my observation.

My mum has had her greyhound for nearly 4 years, and she has never bathed him. Not once. He does not smell at all, and his coat is shiny and soft. Her house does not smell of dog.
Although, he does sometimes let out weapon's grade farts 😂

A friend of mine has two black Labs, mother and daughter, plus mum's brother belongs to her DS so he lives there too. The younger bitch had a litter this year, and they have kept two of the pups. Poor old man dog has a very careworn expression these days!

I have never noticed their house smelling of dog. Whenever I visit I know I will be sat on at some point by a black Lab, whether I want to or not. Having said that friend is extremely strict with training and discipline and they all behave impeccably.

@ineedadehumidifier, agree, those of us with well trained and well behaved dogs know that our dogs offend no one.

There are stupid people in the world and PPs who are posting here about dog owners who are inconsiderate have a right to be angry and upset.

On a lighter note, a relative constantly complained about a little dog that she met with its owner every morning as they left for work. The relative said the dog was vicious because it always barked at her every day and she felt it wanted to go for her throat. Really! One day I said “perhaps he is just saying good morning”. She was actually lost for words because that was more of a rational argument than the dog wanting to rip her throat out.

I do get non dog owners, that you do not have to accept barky dogs saying good morning.

Like the US, make some parks or areas of parks for dogs and some for not for dogs.

So there is a park/area of a park that humans can use that has no dogs and less dog mess (ideally none).

Then more human parks could have e.g. running/walking/cycling tracks because there'd be no issues of getting chased by dogs or stepping in mess. Maybe my area is just very dog-orientated and with crap facilities for humans, but every park where I live is just a big dog exercise area/dog toilet. People without dogs don't really go there and can't use the amenity for exercise or recreation. Even the football and rugby groups have to arrive an hour early for dog poo clearance.

The smell thing is just another attempt at shaming and ridiculing. You like your dog? Can you not make human friends? You have a dog? Your house smells. And so on. Tedious, unoriginal and untrue!

Keep it on a leash then you know if it’s pooped it won’t jump up at people and won’t come into my family’s tent and ruin our picnic. Just saying.

I find it absolutely ridiculous that dogs are allowed in indoor cafes or restaurants. Just why?
I have no problem with dogs and outdoor seating or pub gardens but I really don't want to be sat in a restaurant and a dog is near me.
A place we go to abroad has a guy who sits his dog up at the table and feeds him. We stopped going to that restaurant. It's massively unhygienic and do they sanitise the chair afterwards? I would not want to be sitting on a chair a dog has had its bottom on!

By keeping your damn mutt away from me.
[SIL in Scotland please note.]

Do they not have much enrichment within their lives?

I don't think it's something I could get worked up about however aware no one I know has allergies. I love to have a dog round but if someone doesn't want to, that should be respected too. Don't know why more energy needs giving to it than that

They have to allow dogs else they'd not make the money required to cover exorbitant rents.

My cousin owns 3 restaurants and has tripled his profits since allowing dogs.

Are you serious? My dog is properly wormed and healthy. I’m happy to pick up his shit. No way am I picking up a random person’s dog’s shit - if they don’t bother picking shit, they probably don’t bother making sure the dog is healthy either. If you think badly of me for that, then fine.

I think that with everything - every area of the country, every type of job, everywhere, some of the people (minority) are just total and utter cunts. Leaving your dog’s shit = cunt. Letting an out of control dog off lead in public = cunt.

And some people are just stupid. If you know people with a dog, and invite them to yours for the weekend (and don’t want the dog as well), knowing that they don’t have someone to care for the dog/the dog doesn’t get on with kennels then that’s = stupid. Many people have very easy access to dog care. Others don’t. When my dog was younger and my mum was alive and living nearby, then I could drop the dog with my mum whenever. Now she’s dead and the dog is older, I don’t have dog care. Someone in my family will either stay with the dog or we don’t go. I won’t leave my dog for more than 2-3 hours.

I have seen such idiotic posts on here in the past where someone has invited family members for Christmas but doesn’t want them to bring their dog. Then, when the person says they can’t come, the inviter says “oh they prioritise the dog over their grandchildren” or something idiotic. No, they can’t put their dog in cryogenic storage.

I highly doubt thats true. Even in the most dog friendly places in the country (places like Keswick) there's still places that don't allow dogs.

My town is pretty dog friendly but there's definitely cafes, pubs and restaurants that don't allow dogs. In fact non of the restaurants near me allow dogs (unless you class pubs as restaurants and then some do). About 80% of the shops near me don't allow dogs.

There's a shopping centre about 30 mins from me. Dogs are allowed in but certainly not into every shop. It's quite rightly the business owners decision. Of course they're not allowed in Boots.

The dogs are generally not an issue.
The problem is the owners. If I ask them to call back a dog heading towards me, the result should be instant recall, not some argument about it being friendly or not hurting me.

80% of dogs ignore me or have owners who preempt unwelcome behavior. Half the remainder have decent recall.
Its the remaining 10% who make me uneasy every time I come across an unleashed dog - and yes, i have scars to show not every dog is friendly. That's why I dont want to be approached by a dog.

There are allergies and also a very tiny baby

Ha! I have some of the “little, yappy” variety. Whilst it is fairly ridiculous to assume that a little dog barking at you wants to “go for your throat” (is there a step ladder near by? How would they reach?? 🤣🤣) it is also not reasonable to allow small dogs to bark at strangers. Just because I have some tiny ones doesn’t mean I expect less manners from them than I do my big dogs.

At home, they can run around and bark all they want (we have no neighbours). When we are out, or when people are visiting, they fully understand “no words”. I had to teach them that for when I’m on teams call for work!!

It’s very reasonable not to want a dog particularly at Christmas though where there are lots of people of various ages, excitable children, elderly people and extensive food prep. It would very much add to the stress.

I think you have highlighted a main problem actually - refusal of some dog owners to use perfectly reasonable dog care options. Used to be that you would hear someone say “oh he doesn’t much like the kennel but he’ll get over it” much like my colleague still says of her cat. Or indeed parents say of their child at nursery, sometimes needs must!

Amen!

well that's their problem....I am assuming the no dog place is not their home, therefore not their decision and I say that as a dog lover.

They do they smell like?