How do we ACTUALLY solve the rift between dog people and non-dog people?

[Talkingtomyhouseplants]

Inspired by yet another dog thread where all the SAME arguments are trotted out again and again:

The Pro Dog People say:

• The dog is my family, you need to treat it like family
• Why would I get a dog just to leave it at home?
• It’s just a dog, it’s not bothering anyone
• My dog is less annoying than your child
• I love my dog more than I love people
• The dogs are ALLOWED to be there so it’s okay that I bring them places
• If my dog isn’t invited, I would probably choose to stay home as I prefer most dogs to people anyway
• My house is my dog’s home too, I won’t be shutting it away for anyone
• My dog isn’t dangerous - he’s a bit softy.

The Anti Dog People Say

• I’m allergic/scared/don’t like being around them - please keep them away from me
• It’s a pet, not your family
• A dog is not a child
• I won’t have dogs in my house
• Dogs are dirty and unhygienic - they shouldn’t be in shops or places where you eat
• I’m sick of dogs barking and jumping up at me in public and I keep stepping in dog poo
• There are too many places that either actively allow dogs, or more often don’t challenge people who bring them anyway so dogs eventually become allowed
• Dog owners are entitled and pushy and this is why they are now suddenly everywhere
• It’s dangerous to have dogs around children
• Dogs can bite/kill people
• There are too many untrained dogs who are treated like people

Same arguments on both sides, every time.

In my personal life I can think of at least two situations where these opposing views are creating real rifts in families because the dog person wants to bring a dog, and the non-dog person doesn’t want to be around said dog. I can feel it becoming more polarising in society generally, anti dog people are more vocal about being anti dog and pro dog people are more pushy about full inclusion of dogs in human spaces.

So what is the actual solution?

There are also people who train their dogs properly, i.e. not to jump up at people, to have proper recall when not on leads/on stupid extendable leads, etc.

Sadly too many owners can't be bothered.

Should of been more clear treat there dog like a child or a sibling it’s a dog a totally different species

I would never put a dog of mine in kennels after a bad experience, but that's my choice. I'd just miss out on the family stuff if I couldn't bring the dog and it was longer than a few hours. It would be totally on me and I'd bear no malice. I get the problems with dogs in busy strange and stressful circs and I wouldn't have subjected my dogs to it. Again on me, no malice or resentment.....but to me getting to a busy christmas wouldn't be a need.

What is wrong with treating a dog well?

I do not kennel mine. But equally, I wouldn’t take them to a strangers house with a bunch of over excited children. It is setting them up to fail, plus, they’d hate it.
And if that means I stay home with my dogs so be it, but don’t moan because I won’t come. I won’t moan because I can’t!

yup, totally agree.

That’s perfect and the way it should be - your dog, your choice not to use kennels, your problem. No issue.

The issue is when this isn’t the case.

Same. Every time my dog went into kennels (which was only twice in her life), she came back very skinny and not herself for a while.

if you are not the homeowner or the dog owner, I suggest you stay out of it. If you are the homeowner, then stick to your guns. I would suggest you don't bang on about kennels though. If they want to come its up to them to sort out how. And I find saying "oh they will get over it" deeply unkind.

@ineedadehumidifier, agree! “No words”,
I like that! My dog is a breed that rarely barks.
But he is a jumpy breed, he is allowed to
impersonate a kangaroo at home but a “leave
it” or “down” when out and all paws stay on the ground.

I am bored of going shopping or eating out and there being a million dogs around - I was in a tapas restaurant this week and out of 8 tables, four brought dogs with them...! Dogs are not hygienic, however lovely and groomed they are. This is coming from someone who grew up with multiple dogs and who has had their own dog(s) and who would happily smooch and say hello to a dog on a walk/on a beach etc. Get a dog sitter if you're out for dinner at 8pm/out in the city shopping all day.

A dog, on the floor, is as hygienic as your shoes. When I’m in restaurants I don’t tend to lick nor eat off the floor. Nor do I lick shoes.

Another issue is that many people have forgotten how to behave around dogs and animals in general.

I have 3 well behaved dogs, but I have stopped taking them to our local park at family prime times. That's because

• adults & children will stare at my dogs when walking past. You should never stare in an unknown dogs eyes - it's an invitation...
• children will touch my dogs in passing without asking. I get it they have a lovely long coat and are the perfect hight to run your hands through, that lush soft fur. Problem is nobody likes being touched by strangers in passing. I mean would you ruffle the hair of the next person you walk past?
• People have accused my girls of pooping & me not picking up when, well, they are just doing a wee. Some can be really aggressive with this.
• other incidents include toddler grabbing dog from behind and parents laughing because it's apparently funny. (Done to the wrong dog and the toddlers face would be missing). Children throwing sticks at my dogs shouting fetch. Children walking up to my dogs with food in their hands wanting to feed them with encouragement from parents. Parent pushing pram into my dogs when walking on lead beside me. And so on.

It's this entitlement to interact with my dogs however people see fit that's annoying and in some instances dangerous.

Why is it unkind? This is sort of the point up for debate. People say stuff like that about people all the time (and even on this thread!). Why can you not say it about a dog?

we regularly eat in a local tapas restaurant and take our dog. He lies down quietly and often people don't even realise he is there until we get up to leave. Lots of people take their dogs there

@mydogisthebest- I know some dogs will lie quietly under a table in a cafe or pub but if that's the case what's the point of bringing them? Aren't they better off at home? Do they enjoy it? I would think it would quite stressful for them no?

@MNLurker1345 Impersonate a kangaroo made me laugh 🤣🤣 Mine aren’t that type, but I have friends whose dogs do that and it is….very kangaroo ❤️❤️ They get so tall and bouncy 🥰🥰

It's the owner's choice alone whether they wish to use kennels or any other dog care options. No one else gets a say in that.

If I'm invited to somewhere I can't take my dog, of course I respect that. But since I don't and won't kennel my dog, then I can only come for a very short period, or maybe not at all.

The problem comes when people who have created the condition that means I can't come start complaining about it, and think they have the right to dictate how I care for my dog.

Keep a dog free house if you like, absolutely fine and your wishes will be respected, but that means I'll have to decline invitations or keep visits very short. Please show me the same respect and stop whinging or badgering me to come/stay longer.

But dog dander gets in the air and their shitty arses leave faecal matter particulate. And dopey dog types who work there can’t help petting and fussing the dogs which makes me question hand hygiene (thinking about a particular John Lewis store where the Christian Dior consultant couldn’t be arsed to serve me because she was too busy ruffling her hands through a terrier’s fur). Absolutely fucking minging.

The cafe I would go to with my dog was at the end of our walk. Just because a dog is under a table being quiet does not mean it is bored or is not liking being there. They do the same at home. Dog owners tend to know what their dogs like, and know when they are bored or not liking something.

Humans also shed dander.

Because it's none of your business how they care for their dog. And certainly they will know their dog well, and will have made well informed choices for their dogs wellbeing.

This is also true. Not the staring, I don’t agree with that, people can look where they want and mine won’t respond, but the uninvited touching IS an issue.
I have been walking mine, off lead, but totally under control, heeled to me, and random children have actually picked up my little ones? Literally grabbed them off the ground. That is NOT ACCEPTABLE. The parents think it’s cute and funny. It isn’t.
I have also had small children actually crawl under my dinner table to get to my small, sleeping dogs. Again, my dogs won’t react to that but the parents need to…parent. My dogs are well trained and do not bite but not all dogs are.

First post nails it 👆 This week, I've had to deal with the weekly "dog day" in my central London office followed by a woman with two snappy little shits on the train home on the same day. Your dog won't die at home when you leave your house - HTH!

Hmmm I don't think we're doing much to 'heal the rift' as OP said.
There's 14 million dogs now in the UK tho which is a lot of dogs! I my very (annoyingly) touristy town everyone seems to bring a dog - There's only one cafe out of 26 that doesn't allow dogs ( and they get indignant crap from dog owners .....)
I think we should all just switch to cats...?