How do we ACTUALLY solve the rift between dog people and non-dog people?

[Talkingtomyhouseplants]

Inspired by yet another dog thread where all the SAME arguments are trotted out again and again:

The Pro Dog People say:

• The dog is my family, you need to treat it like family
• Why would I get a dog just to leave it at home?
• It’s just a dog, it’s not bothering anyone
• My dog is less annoying than your child
• I love my dog more than I love people
• The dogs are ALLOWED to be there so it’s okay that I bring them places
• If my dog isn’t invited, I would probably choose to stay home as I prefer most dogs to people anyway
• My house is my dog’s home too, I won’t be shutting it away for anyone
• My dog isn’t dangerous - he’s a bit softy.

The Anti Dog People Say

• I’m allergic/scared/don’t like being around them - please keep them away from me
• It’s a pet, not your family
• A dog is not a child
• I won’t have dogs in my house
• Dogs are dirty and unhygienic - they shouldn’t be in shops or places where you eat
• I’m sick of dogs barking and jumping up at me in public and I keep stepping in dog poo
• There are too many places that either actively allow dogs, or more often don’t challenge people who bring them anyway so dogs eventually become allowed
• Dog owners are entitled and pushy and this is why they are now suddenly everywhere
• It’s dangerous to have dogs around children
• Dogs can bite/kill people
• There are too many untrained dogs who are treated like people

Same arguments on both sides, every time.

In my personal life I can think of at least two situations where these opposing views are creating real rifts in families because the dog person wants to bring a dog, and the non-dog person doesn’t want to be around said dog. I can feel it becoming more polarising in society generally, anti dog people are more vocal about being anti dog and pro dog people are more pushy about full inclusion of dogs in human spaces.

So what is the actual solution?

The answer is respect. However ultimately I would never have a dog in my house so if a dog owner took offence at that it would be too bad. There never used to be any question about this, it is only in recent years that anyone has thought a dog was invited when they were.

I grew up with big dogs but I have gone off dogs over the years because of dog people. I’m sick of dogs in cafes, shops, restaurants. Sick of dogs off leads coming up to me with ‘he’s friendly!’ called by a dopey owner. Sick of dogs bloody everywhere all the time.

We used to leave our dogs at home when we went to cafes or out shopping. Modern day dog owners are the absolute worst and they have made me really dislike dogs.

thats ridiculous. It’s not all about size. Many large breeds, labradors, golden retrievers, Great Danes are amongst the most placid and family friendly.

i have a Labrador and she’s well trained. Doesn’t jump up on people, doesn’t approach strangers when out on a walk, wouldn’t growl or bark at others. She’s a big softie and so gentle

i typically find the smaller breeds to be less well trained, jumping up “but it’s okay cos they’re cute”., constantly yapping and barking, trying to pick fights with larger dogs due to their own insecurities

@TeaFizzy is spot on - the good behaviour is subjective. The same way everyone has different parenting styles/standards with their children.

@TeaFizzyexamples are good as I’m also a dog owner but feel BOTH scenarios are inappropriate but you seem to only have an issue with the 2 nd scenario

But what is it to you if my home smells of dog? You don't have to come along and visit. I'm not offended if you don't come into my home.
Many homes have unpleasant smells, there is that chemical smell from air fresheners, the smell from smokers, unwashed bodies or cold food from cooking to name a few.... if you go around people's houses you'll find they all smell!

Some of the ones who don't pick up round here also seem to be walking horse-sized dogs as the heaps of poo are enormous. It's really hideous.

I'd love for the council to have targeted dog poo days in the woods here. They'd make a fortune in fines. Weirdly, I've never seen anyone leave their dog's poo, although I have spotted poo on my way home which wasn't there on my way out, so clearly I've just missed it happening.

Yes, good idea!

Then the business can reevaluate. Completely their decision and the public can choose to go or not.

I've seen cats on buses and on the tube. Didn't bother me at all even though I'd never have a cat myself and don't really like them. I was in a cafe a year or so ago and a lady brought her pygmy hedgehog with her. I was just intrigued and loved it.

Most dog owners don't 'expect' to take them everywhere but when a business owner has agreed a place is dog friendly then they'll go. Absolutely not doing anything wrong.

Yes you'll get the odd cheeky fucker e.g. not asking to bring their dog to someone's house but the majority of us are not like that. I'd never dream of taking my dog to someone's house unless it was a family member and I'd checked beforehand.

Our dog is a rescue. He was never socialised. In fact never taken out so was scared of everything when we got him. We have gradually taught him that cars, buses, people, dogs etc are nothing to be scared of. Part of his socialisation with us is to go out to busy areas and walk and also to sit inside and outside coffee shops, restaurants etc.

Also he does not like being at home alone. He will just pace around the room and sometimes cry. When he is with us in a restaurant he lies down relaxed and quiet. He sometimes even falls asleep.

So, no, it is not stressful for him.

Because we don't want to leave him at home and because he is happier being with us.

We like our dog being with us. If we leave him at home he is not happy. He paces the room and sometimes cries. When with us he is relaxed and quiet. If we leave him we have to restrict our time out to 3 hours whereas if he is with us we can be out as long as we want as long, obviously, as it is not a hot day.

He is not hurting anyone or doing any harm being in a restaurant laying quietly is he?

Oh come on PrettyLittleRose has obviously worked very very hard to check ALL the homes in the UK (if not further afield) that have a dog to know they all smell. Thinking about it, she must have checked homes in other countries too to know ALL breeds of dog smell.

Just wondering if she thinks Chinese Crested dogs smell as they have little or no fur.

Oh modern day dog owners are so terrible because they take their dog out with them rather than leaving them home alone.

My what strange ideas you have. Probably best that you no longer have dogs

This. I love my dogs but they are dogs not humans. They don't need to be in a shop or a cafe. The only time we ever take our dogs to a cafe is when we are on holiday and then we always sit outside and at a table furthest away from anyone.

We are the same. Generally he's asleep all day anyway, so I'm not going to disturb him to take him out. Same goes for the evening, he's asleep again! Our boy loves his sleep.

I have read your posts OP and I think its easy to see which side you are on and that you only want the rift solved if its solved the way you want it to be. Are you by any chance a journalist?

Obviously some
but EVERY dog smells even yours in your enormous house with smell

I don’t know about anyone else but I’m definitely going to be looking into rehoming my dog after pretty’s revelation. I can’t carry on living like this now I know a random internet person thinks my house smells.

I like (most) dogs and am fond of a couple of friends’ dogs but it’s just become dog overkill atm. They don’t need to be in shopping centres or inside cafes (unless service dogs). This has all exploded since Covid and it’s insane.

Dogs aren’t generally allowed in my house as we have a cat. We did allow one small dog as an exception as he sat in his owner’s lap the whole time (cat stayed away as she does if there’s a crowd).

Dangerous or large dogs who could kill all need to be muzzled in public. My then-teen son was almost attacked by one a few years ago. The dog/owner had a reputation and was subsequently banned from the local park as he bit a woman’s arm.

Well then they all need a head wobble. Are they normally so unable to see other people's point of view?

@Lentilcakes Are dogs allowed in shopping centres? They're not in my town, only service dogs.

We have dogs, 2 Lhasa’s, don’t moult, most people with allergies are ok with them. But, I’m not one of those “dog” people. It’s ok to leave them home. I don’t take them to the pub as they’re both male and want to mark everywhere. The only family members house I take them to is my mums, and even then it’s only if I’m passing and they’re in the car. When at our holiday home, they are left if we are out for a few hours so that we’re not restricted where we can go.

we of course love our dogs and wouldn’t be without them. They’re walked 3 times a day, they bring joy to our family, but that’s for us to enjoy. I don’t force them on anyone else, and I certainly don’t think they should go everywhere I do. I actually hate to see dogs sat on chairs in bars/restaurants - especially in a seaside town where people are already struggling for seats. And the barking, oh the barking. Can’t even enjoy pub grub in some of our local establishments due to dogs constantly barking.

So, I’m most definitely in the middle when it comes to dogs.

Dangerous or large dogs who could kill all need to be muzzled in public. My then-teen son was almost attacked by one a few years ago. The dog/owner had a reputation and was subsequently banned from the local park as he bit a woman’s arm.

Which breeds are you including in the 'large dogs...' part?

I agree that any dog which has shown aggression towards either another dog or a human should be muzzled (and kept on a lead) on walks. There's a few round here who've been aggressive to our dog whose owners brush it under the carpet. It really annoys me. I bet they tick the 'no' box about whether the dog has ever been aggressive on their insurance too (assuming they insure the dog).

Yes she was over at mine last week. Identified the smell and told me I need therapy because I am in denial.

She said she will do a follow up in a months time to check up on my ability to accept that my house smells of dog! Anyone know a good therapist? @PrettyLittleRose?

There was someone sniffing near my front door the other day. Pretty Little Nose I guess.