How do we ACTUALLY solve the rift between dog people and non-dog people?

[Talkingtomyhouseplants]

Inspired by yet another dog thread where all the SAME arguments are trotted out again and again:

The Pro Dog People say:

• The dog is my family, you need to treat it like family
• Why would I get a dog just to leave it at home?
• It’s just a dog, it’s not bothering anyone
• My dog is less annoying than your child
• I love my dog more than I love people
• The dogs are ALLOWED to be there so it’s okay that I bring them places
• If my dog isn’t invited, I would probably choose to stay home as I prefer most dogs to people anyway
• My house is my dog’s home too, I won’t be shutting it away for anyone
• My dog isn’t dangerous - he’s a bit softy.

The Anti Dog People Say

• I’m allergic/scared/don’t like being around them - please keep them away from me
• It’s a pet, not your family
• A dog is not a child
• I won’t have dogs in my house
• Dogs are dirty and unhygienic - they shouldn’t be in shops or places where you eat
• I’m sick of dogs barking and jumping up at me in public and I keep stepping in dog poo
• There are too many places that either actively allow dogs, or more often don’t challenge people who bring them anyway so dogs eventually become allowed
• Dog owners are entitled and pushy and this is why they are now suddenly everywhere
• It’s dangerous to have dogs around children
• Dogs can bite/kill people
• There are too many untrained dogs who are treated like people

Same arguments on both sides, every time.

In my personal life I can think of at least two situations where these opposing views are creating real rifts in families because the dog person wants to bring a dog, and the non-dog person doesn’t want to be around said dog. I can feel it becoming more polarising in society generally, anti dog people are more vocal about being anti dog and pro dog people are more pushy about full inclusion of dogs in human spaces.

So what is the actual solution?

If the business allows dogs then it's absolutely fine to take them. Nothing complicated about it.

Do you have experience of dogs as pets? If you don’t you ask this question from an uninformed position.

We could leave our dogs at home for a couple of hours and we do. If we don’t have to because dogs are allowed, why should we?

Many people don’t like children in restaurants, maybe they should be left at home. Many people have so many irritations and complaints about so many things. Why don’t we all just stay at home? With our dogs, with our noisy ill mannered children, with our BO, with our whatever annoys another person. Let’s just stay at home. Or let’s live and let live with respect and consideration for others.

But the problem is they bark, smell and people don’t control them even if there on a lead they wonder
so it’s not so much the business it’s the wanker dog owners

Doesn’t have to be a kennel though? Dog sitter? Home boarding? Friend or relative?

I don’t really care for dogs. But equally, I don’t really care what others do with their dogs as long as they pick up their poo and keep them under control when out in public. I can’t say I find a dog in a pub or a cafe particularly offensive if it’s well behaved and quiet. I wouldn’t want anything to do with it but I also wouldn’t be put out it being there. I find that stance a bit OTT, unless of course it’s due to allergies.

Is that all dogs and all owners or some?

When I travel on public transport, some people speak to loudly, some people eat smelly food, some people smell, some people leave their rubbish behind, some people have no consideration for others. I could go on!

I can't really be more specific. I mean, I've never owned a dog so maybe that's part of it. I do like them, although prefer not to have them in cafes etc, and dislike the preciousness some people have around dogs.

But every time I've ever visited someone with a dog (or cat) I can smell that an animal lives there, before I've been told as well as when I know. It can be stronger or weaker, but just like... well "animal" smell! Maybe people who are more familiar with animals think that sounds stupid, maybe they all smell different. Musty is kind of the word for it, but I can't really describe it.

Do you not think you're probably just used to the smell of your own dog, @MNLurker1345? The way we are all blind to the smell of our own houses?

Dear @Ihaveneedofwaternear, my house does not smell of dog. I live in a very large house. I live in the countryside. I have open air all around me. Now I do live next
to a sheep farm and my house does often smell of sheep poo! Now there is something for you to consider. Smells of the countryside.

@MNLurker1345 If you have a dog, your house does smell of dog I'm afraid........

Whether you realise it or not.

So many dog owners are in denial about their house smelling of dogs, it's almost funny.

@PrettyLittleRose, My house is to big to smell of any one thing.

@MNLurker1345 Oooh yeah, the countryside also smells 🤣

I don't mean to be rude saying this, it was just coz you said you were genuinely interested what I meant about the smell. Although I appreciate it probably sounds rude! I just feel like animals smelling is a fact. Sometimes it's mild, if people's pets are cleaner or maybe certain breeds, and depending how much they vacuum or how much the animal casts... If your house is large, that probably does mean less likely to smell the dog/cat. I don't know, I can't recall going into a huge dog owners house before!

Right, but if I'm turning down an invitation, then obviously I don't have one of those options available to me.

Honestly, I wouldn't leave my dog with a stranger. I leave her with my adult children, and one friend. But it's my dog, so the responsibility lays with me.

Again, anyone trying to insist I care for my dog in the way they want, for their convenience is downright rude. I will care for my dog how I see fit, and frankly, I know what is best for her. Stop offering unsolicited opinions on how I care for my dog. It's disrespectful and rude.

If someone doesn't want my dog in their house I always respect that. I don't start trying to tell them they're living their life wrong, they should let my dog come, they should get a dog or any other nonsense. I respect that they know best for themselves.

In return, I expect that when I say that I can't come for reasons of dog care, then people don't rudely start trying to tell me what I should be doing with my dog. That they show me the same respect as I've show them that I know best for myself.

As I've said, I would always offer to host myself, or meet in another dog friendly venue. If the other people are so inflexible that they won't consider these options that's on them. They are the selfish, demanding and inflexible ones. I make no demands at all. I'll simply not come if my responsibility to my dog means that I'm unable to. It's just part of being a responsible pet owner.

Doesn't matter if you have an uber massive HUGE house - you have dogs. It will smell of dogs.

As I said, denial.

.

Why do some people insist dog owners are either in denial or outright lying about the smell of their dogs? It is really weird.

Because they are in denial. Not lying. In denial. You have a dog? Your house will smell of them.

Sorry and all that...........

For mine, “staring” is nothing like uninvited touch, none of my dogs would even notice someone staring. Mine are trained to “on me” for busy situations. That means they stick with me, they look at me, no matter how many people may or may not stare at them or touch them or approach them. People look, it’s human nature, it’s your responsibility to make sure your dogs don’t react (and to be fair, none of my 30+ dogs have ever reacted to someone staring!)

Replace dog with any other animal and we wouldn’t expect it to be taken to someone else’s home, the zoo, holiday…that’s what dog people need to understand

That is really not the case. My mum's house does not smell of dog at all. I visit once each month, so I am not nose blind.
Unless you have been to every single dog owner's house, you can't say for certain at all how their home smells.
It does not really matter anyway. Dog smell is just dog smell. It is not a nasty one.
My dog died earlier this year, and I find myself smelling her jumpers and PJs to catch a whiff of her, but there is nothing.

@Ihaveneedofwaternear and that is my point. I am surrounded by the smells of the countryside, sheep poo and horse manure. I am not immune to it.

My house is large. I make my point because you say all homes that have dogs smell. That is not true. It does depend on many things. All of the homes with dogs that you have been to smell. I cannot dispute you, but that is a different thing to saying all homes that have dogs smell.

Now, I will tell you something that you may find a bit disturbing, when my dog has full anal glands, he does smell, he smells, not my house. Because -

1. he visits the vet often and has them tended to.
2. he has a healthy diet and exercise
3. my house is too big to smell of any one thing and hygiene is very important to me and so is airing out my house daily.

Just as training a dog in order for it to behave well at all times is imperative, dog hygiene is also important, in order for us all to live in clean hygienic environments.

Not necessarily. Before I had dogs I visited plenty of dog houses. Some smelt, some didn't. It depends on the breed as well as the cleaning levels and the kind of furnishings in the house.

Some people like to be petty and spiteful and tell lies to try to make people feel bad. Thankfully, it's generally easy to see through them, and everyone knows exactly what kind of people they are.

To me it is simple. Just ask and respect the answer.

I am getting a service dog puppy next week (obviously not the same as a pet). Yet I will still ask and respect people's preferences. My pup will be my lifeline but not to the exclusion of real human relationships.

Dogs are incredible and amazing and part of my family BUT they are not human and should not be treated as such.

Dogs be Dogs. Humans be humans. A little mutual respect is all thats needed.

I think one of the main issues is that dog people and non-dog people can have very different ideas of what good dog behaviour looks like, and I’m not sure what the answer is.

Case in point - I was sitting in an outside cafe today. Lots of dogs there, mainly sitting next to their owners or lying under the table. However, one man was letting his fairly large dog wander around and go up to everybody to say hello.

Now, the dog wasn’t at all aggressive. So presumably the owner didn’t think it was an issue. But he didn’t seem to even think that not everyone would want a dog coming up to them, however friendly.

Another example. I was going to an outpatients appointment at my local hospital. A couple decided to take their dog, who was on a lead but definitely not walking to heel - running back and forwards on the end of the lead so you couldn’t get past. No indication it was a service dog and definitely didn’t behave like one. Clearly they thought its behaviour was appropriate, as did the security guard at the entrance who was encouraging it to jump up. I was on crutches and it almost jumped into me.

Now, in the cafe situation someone who didn’t like dogs could move. But how do you deal with the hospital?

I think one of the main issues is that dog people and non-dog people can have very different ideas of what good dog behaviour looks like, and I’m not sure what the answer is

No they don't. They are not homogenous masses that all have the same opinion based on whether they have a dog or not. I was a dog owner, and I think the people in your hospital example were unreasonable.

On dog shit: one or two dog owners not picking up can have a massive impact on an area, especially if it gets trodden in and spread up the pavement. It's dog shit slalom. Multiple dog owners can pick up and it can be ruined by one idiot who gives the rest a bad name.

Because @PrettyLittleRose debates on a level of absolutes. She knows that all homes with dogs smell. It is all or nothing, black or white, nothing in between, her way or the high way!