How old is too old?

[thehighline]

Just putting it out there to see responses…

What would be your age limit for having more kids/kids?

I am 40 next year and just don’t know….

Had my 3rd and final child at 32 and knew I was done. No regrets.

I was 41 with my first and 44 with my second/last. Though they were both naturally conceived and streight forward pregnancies, it was not really by choice to leave it that late. DH and I only met when I was 38 and he was the first I could imagine to have kids with. My mum was 40 when she had me (youngest of 5) and I was always envious of my friends for having younger parents and always said I'd not be an old parent. Whilst I was really at my fittest when I had them, inactivity through COVID period/homeoffice/very busy period at work and now menopause have really done a number on my energy levels. I wish I had started earlier - I would have had more and my advice to my children is not to hang about too long if they have the choice to start earlier. Having said that, I'd still do it all again in a heartbeat if I had the resorces (and eggs) .

no it’s not I’m 41 ivf trying

Im 37 and feel
too old now

My limit was 35. Had mine at 32 and 34.

Mid thirties for me. I had 3 children between 28 and 34. I’m glad I didn’t have any more after last at 34 as I have A LOT less energy now in early 40s than I did when we decided to have no.3. Like drastically!

Although if I hadn’t met the right person until my late 30s/ early 40s I would still say to go for it - but have 1 less than you think you want/ can manage! This is in case your energy drops drastically whilst kid/s still young!

But this is exactly my point.

For the past 8 years, you’ve not wanted another baby and all of a sudden you want one and it’s a knee jerk reaction to something.

You’re not thinking about what’s best for the baby or your DD, it’s just about your needs.

Obviously only you know what the reason is for all of a sudden wanting another one but for many women it’s a midlife crisis/panic because they’re turning 40/this is their last chance, they don’t want to get a job, they’re trying to hold on to a man or being a mum is all they know and they’re trying to hold on to their identity.

If you wanted a second child you would have been TTC for the past 8 years - but you haven’t been.
Most people don’t want a decade between pregnancies unless they get a new partner.

I’m not having a go at you by the way, that’s just my feelings and how it comes across to others.
The age of the parent is otherwise pretty irrelevant, although I wouldn’t go over 40 personally and I think over 45 is unfair to the child.

And this op is the point
I wouldn't have wanted to hr under 27 to have my first. Neither of us are wrong, just different lives, different opportunities.

Had mine at 39, 40, 43 and 46. All naturally conceived and healthy. Ya boo.

Oh yes, people with an 8 year old gap are selfish lazy women who jsit have babies for themselves, but a 4 year old gap means you're a worthy selfish mother doing it for the world?

Two marriages. She had two kids, they eventually split cos he was an arsehole. Some time later met her now DH, he hadn't got any and she always had wanted more so was 38 when she had no3 and then 4 took a bit longer than expected.

I had my last baby at 31. I would potentially have had one at a later age but DH age was more of a factor (he was 48)

I'm 34 and I genuinely still feel far too young to have kids which is clearly crazy.

Right?!

According to @chocoluv reply I am also having a midlife crisis, don’t want to get a job, should have been trying for the last eight years if I wanted a second and am just thinking about my needs!!!

God forbid a woman can change her mind or live for the moment with her one lovely child without being a miserable mum to two under two (which btw I would have been)

I felt really young at 31!

Oh my god, I'm 31 and haven't even thought about having my first. This makes for scary reading!

I did 2 under 2 and a 10 year gap!

They are in their 20’s and 30’s now and are so close, it’s worked out really well.

But who is to say a smaller age gap is better for the older child or the baby?

Personally 38, 44 now and I love the idea of more but that ship has sailed. I could not cope.
i think that ideal is early 20s. Your body is so much better able to cope with the energy required, i had mine at 31 and 35 and really struggled.
my nan had my mum as a teen and it meant ai had a nan alive and there for me until I was mid 40s.
i think we are all having kids too late including me. but its expensive and hard and there isn’t enough help to do it.
so really I think 40 is probably the max, ideal is early 20s.

Love this x

I said I wanted to be done by 35 back when I started trying age 30.

Currently 36 and in the process of adopting following five heartbreaking years of infertility, IVF, surgeries and losses. My limit currently is 40 but who knows! Life doesn’t always go the way you plan.

i also think it depends on your family set up. Two of DHs friends are having children this year at 42/43. One had his younger two when he was 19 then 23 and is starting all over again - I think he’s mad! The other had his younger two age 36 and 40 and I thought nothing of his age when they announced.

My two grandmothers were in their forties when they had their final children; I think it was relatively common pre reliable contraception.

That’s great for you, I wish you all the best. The OP asked “what would be your age limit for having more kids”, for me that would be 35 maximum.

For me personally, I knew I wanted them before I turned 35. Mainly because that's when risks start to increase but also because I have an older parent myself....my dad was 48 when I was born and I do think it's had an impact.

But I've been with DH since my early 20s so it was easy to have that cut off. If we hadn't managed to conceive or I hadn't met the right person by 35 I'm sure I wouldn't have stopped trying.

Same here 😂

I have heaps of energy, probably more than in my twenties!

One and only born at 31 in a crap marriage. Re married to a normal person now but at 40 i cant be arsed