How old is too old?

[thehighline]

Just putting it out there to see responses…

What would be your age limit for having more kids/kids?

I am 40 next year and just don’t know….

Agreed, for some of us it doesn’t go full term until you’re almost 40 even though you’ve been trying since your early 30s. If you’re healthy you’ve basically probably got until you’re 45, possibly even longer depending on your fertility. Or freezing of eggs etc. I was 38 but wish I’d been younger as I’m sure it’s harder work when you’re older. Not everyone gets that choice though. Do what you want to do.

I think it depends on your health. Any chronic conditions ? Overweight? If you are a 40 year old who is fit and health issue you are probably lower risk than someone younger.

I think once you HAVE the req number of kdis, it's far easier to put a limit on it.

If you have kids at 17 and 19, it's probably terrifying to imagine having another at 33 with two teens in the house but if you've got no kids at 32, 33 likely seems reasonable.

I'd have said my limited were over 27 and under 36 when I was in my 20s.

I had them at 33 and 37.

Friends had them at 40.

My sister at 44.

I feel like 44 is past my limit (I'm 44 now) but I have 3 kids already! If I was chidk free, I feel perfectly capable of carrying a pregnancy at my age.

Oh here we go..did you read the OP? They asked “what would be YOUR age limit for having more kids”, I agreed with a poster saying over 35 is too old because it’s too old for ME. I am so sick and tired of people trying to start arguments on mumsnet. Please go and do something else.

I had a 14 and 16 year old at 57. It was absolutely fine. In fact I think I probably parented better because of my age. My son’s gf’s (and some of their mates) all seem to have tempestuous relationships with their parents (who are often 20 years younger than me). I’ve always had a really stable relationships with my kids, which could very well be down to my age (more wisdom in it perhaps 😊).

The risks increase at 35 so I wouldn't intentionally conceive a child over that age. I wouldn't tell another woman 35 was too old, I think it's a personal decision to a certain extent. It's extremely unlikely a woman would naturally conceive at an age I'd think was too old but I would say someone, male or female, becoming a parent beyond their mid 50s is too old. I don't think parenting ends at 18, people in their 20s often still need a lot of guidance and are finding their own way in life. There are unfortunate cases we're parents die or lose their independence prematurely but to enter in to parenthood knowing that you will be in the age bracket where death isn't premature before your child even finishes uni is selfish in my honest opinion.

My mum was 40 when she had me. I always thought she was really old. People thought she was my grandmother. She was too old to help out/do anything with my children when they came along and she passed age 83. I spent the younger years of my children’s lives looking after her too.

I started menopause at 45. My youngest was born when I was 36. I realise 40 isn’t that old now but I wouldn’t have one over 40. Need to consider university costs and retirement.

I had my second at 35 and now at 38 I do feel I would be too old to have anymore. I also wouldn’t want to have a teenage in my mid 50s.

Sorry, can you expand upon "no point" bit?

There's only 4 years between mine but there's 24 years between my sisters kids. Why exactly are you youngest two pointless?

8 was just a random number but I have noticed that once children start growing up and being a bit more independent, some women panic and have another baby.

I think these women don’t care about the children and what’s best for them, they are simply only thinking about themselves - whether that’s of out of fear of loosing their identity, because they don’t want to get a job or because they’re worried their DH will leave.

I’m trying at 40 for number 3, not sure when cut off will be. Probably if it doesn’t happen in the next 6 months we might stop trying.

I think if I didn’t have children I’d probably try for longer maybe 42 cut off?

I had my last at 27 and I was done! 41 now and the idea of a baby now fills me with dread!

But….i have 4 x DC so I think that probably helps!

I’m guessing the youngest was not planned though?

Even if she had her eldest at 14, no one would wait 24 years at 38 (which is classed as a geriatric pregnancy) to then decide to have another.

My youngest brother is 10 years younger than me. He certainly wasn't pointless. I feel closer to him than my parents or my brother who is 2 years younger than me. Some of my best childhood memories are with him and he probably played a big part in me learning how to interact with and care for children.

Yeah as I’ve said, we’re all different and what works some wouldn’t work for others. Again, I’d never tell anyone that they were too old to have kids, or think that their age would negatively affect their parenting. But the OP asked what we personally felt was too old for us, and that’s the question I answered.

I am almost 40. DD1 is 6 and DD2 is 2.5, I am pretty tired running around after them. I think if its a 1 and done situation i would say early 40s but your adding to your family 38 would have been my limit x

One and only at 25. Managed to navigate plenty of relationships without having to ‘gift’ the new partner with a child which seems very popular on here 😉

Not too old. My last baby i had at 38, im now 41. Been trying for 2yrs for our last baby. Im doing my final egg retrieval, that will be the end of the journey for my husband and i.

I’ve said my cut off for my second is 35, but when I think about my child being 35 and me being 70, that gives me a bit of a ick, because my own mum is 56! And I can’t imagine them having an old mum.

Mine were both from a single round of IVF. I was 39.5 and almost 41 when I had them. For me 50 would be too old but 45/46 would have been fine.
DH is heading for 74 and couldn't cope with teenagers now. I'm 70 and still have plenty of energy.

38 would be the oldest I would be trying for a baby. Wouldn't want one after 40.

I had my youngest aged 42 and that would be my limit. It hasn't been too much to cope with young dcs in my 40s because I keep myself fit and healthy, I have a DH who is very involved and hands-on, and we have a good income which takes a lot of the hard work out of parenting (not outsourcing to nannies but being able to pay for labour saving services and entertainment).

I conceived naturally with no fertility assistance and my personal view was that I let nature make the decision to some extent. I wouldn't have opted to use donors/ivf and the fact that I conceived with no help and had an easy pg and birth was an indicator to me that I wasn't too old.

I wouldn't want to have been over 35 personally my parents did not live to old age and whilst that's not to say I won't I want my daughter old enough to have developed a life for herself first.

Personally would want to be having my last at no later than 35-38. I had my 1st at 30 and I remember thinking then if only I had the energy now that I had 10 years ago 😂

Mine was 35 and I had 2 by 32 so that was it for me!
My DPs were older parents and I didn’t want that for my kids.