I don't want to let gas man in

[Whyohwhy99]

I don't want to let the gas man in. I have already cancelled twice. Every year I get warning letters.. I don't want to let anyone in. I don't want have any form of interaction. I don't want anyone physically in my house. I don't even know when they are coming. I just know its an afternoon appointment.

OP, I've just seen your other posts.

You are seriously struggling with your mental health. You are fearful, anxious, confused, clearly panicky and overwhelmed and struggling to think clearly, and you seem to be struggling with low self-esteem. You sound possibly a little bit manic in the way your thoughts are racing and you can't focus. You've posted several times, clearly distressed, over the past few days. And you also have children living with you, one with complex needs.

You absolutely MUST have gas safety check and/or meter readings. You have children and a gas safety check is vital to make sure they're safe from things like gas leaks and carbon monoxide. And if they cut your gas off because they aren't able to read your meter. your children will obviously suffer.

You need to see a doctor and give them a very comprehensive account of your feelings and how you're struggling with irrational fears, racing thoughts, low mood and executive dysfunction, and you need to tell them that it's at the point where you feel sick and get palpitations at the thought of a routine visit from the gas man and so on. You need some proper mental health support because you are not well at the moment.

I'm a gas engineer with 35 years experience so I think I have an inkling of what I am talking about

This reminds me of "vaguebooking".

Would you be better with a woman engineer?

Is it just you in the house? Do you ever go outside?

Worst thing that could happen? Eviction.
That is a massive thought OP.

We have a note on the system to alert visitors that our kids are SEN and react to unexpected visitors screaming trying to scratch at them etc need to be restrained possibly so they aren’t shocked

everyone is kind and we get more experienced technicians coming

also my mental health is noted because i get upset at unexpected bills etc you get special call handlers all specially trained

tell the gas people how visits affect your mental health snd definitely go to the doctor

Do you go out?

Do you have a garden?

Can you sit in the garden with a cup of tea with a mindfulness podcast on whilst they are inside?

O agree about seeing GP. This level of anxiety about seeing people is
not normal.

OP sorry you’re going through this. Sounds like you have real difficulty interacting with others. Reflects on our society that you can go a whole year without letting more than 3-4 people into your home.

How do you get other repairs done? Shopping? Medical help etc? Having no one is as small a network as you can get. Have you been let down by others so feel safer alone?

You should let your Housing Officer know of your struggles. There are people who can help if/when you feel ready. Least then they’d know it’s not a case of won’t but can’t.

Existing not living not a great place to be.

If it is 10 mins they aren't doing it properly. Assuming nothing is wrong 30 mins is about right but it could be more.

That was me asking about possible ADHD . Yes i did mention i find it hard to let people in. Thats because I wanted to fully explain. There was not a gas man needing to get in at that point.

Does it matter? An i doing something wrong with making this thread?

Hi @Whyohwhy99, I am so sorry you feel like this. Do you get out and about? I am asking because my sister feels like this. She has past trauma and gets really anxious about going out, she only goes and does her shopping, early in the morning. She comes to a few family events only if one of my other sisters accompanies her.

She also gets anxious about people coming into her home and only allows a few people.

She had a workman in a while ago and I stayed on the phone with her just chatting until he finished.

Call your gas provider and tell them.They have to access homes under all sorts of circumstances. They might even have a woman available.

No i have never told anyone until recently. I have an appointment with gp in a couple of weeks. I'm trying not to think about that though.

It will be to service your boiler are you renting, why are you frightened can someone be with you. Not letting them in might invalidate a tenancy agreement.

Well they've got records of you refusing to let them in, surely it would be better to speak to someone and get it sorted, you can't be the only person who does this.

Nothing has ever happened.
I don't think there's issues in my house i think its ok.
Its just my kids that come in. I don't have friends.

What if it was a woman gas fitter? Would that make things easier?

It is good that you are acting now. There is no need for you to feel this vulnerable. Be honest with the GP when you get there.

It's out of order to search and post like this. Leave the op to post as she wishes, if you think she is breaking talk guidelines then report.

I really hope your right

I know how you feel, OP. I don't even like supermarket deliveries. But you just have to grin and bear stuff like this.

Do you have a support worker? If not, I think you could really do with one.

If you rent your house it will be part of your tenancy agreement - why are you getting this wound up?
speak to the landlord and explain if there is an issue maybe they can be there and you can either be with them or go out.

You sound very anxious and stressed OP. Do you have a holiday planned? Maybe something else to look forward to that could help you calm your nerves while the gasman does his thing?
Even if you don't have a holiday booked, maybe you could plan one? I'm sure that would take your mind off things.

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. As everyone says, you need to have the safety check so that you know everything is working OK. You will absolutely not sound silly if you approach your landlord/council/letting agent to explain that you have anxiety around visitors and need an exact date and time for your visit. I think, since covid, this is much more common than you would believe. You've said you are seeing the GP soon, but my sister in law had some issues reconnecting with society/people after covid and found mindfulness a helpful tool to prepare for events or encounters that worried her. The mindful movement on YouTube has some really good ones for calming anxiety and processing fears.

I used to feel similar to you OP. I was young then and have PTSD and it was only a few years after the bad thing happened to me. I knew I wasn't in danger but I just couldn't get rid of the feeling that I was absolutely against letting strangers into my home.

It ruined my day, knowing someone had to come, it's like I forgot how to function like a normal person. Would it help to break it down in your own mind, so, you'll open the door and ask them where they need to be/see first. Take them to it then say 'Ill leave you to it, I'll just be in the living room if you need me.' or wherever. You could offer them or just make yourself a cuppa to put a few minutes in. Wash the dishes. Plan something small that will keep you busy for a few minutes.
Unless you'd prefer to just sit and wait. Play games on your phone. Rehearse the scenario and plan for the time that they're in there.

You know yourself that you're blowing it up and putting too much of a spotlight on it. Can you not try to speak to yourself into knowing it needs done, stop them bothering you by just letting them do it, then you're free? It also doesn't need to last forever. I'm not great at all making phonecalls, no idea why! But I can open the door to anyone and enjoy their company if they're the talkative types, otherwise I stay within earshot and let them get on with it.