Could I have adhd? Maybe something else . Maybe nothing? (title edited by MNHQ at request of OP)

[Whyohwhy99]

So from my other thread several people mentioned possible ADHD so i'm going to message my GP but i wanted to type everything here about how i think things i avoid etc
Incase theres other suggestions or thoughts so I can mention it to the gp. Obviously not everything mumsnet says but if i think it could make sense. So here gos.

I try and avoid people coming to my house even if theres no choice.. examples are gas checks. Theres an appointment made. I then change it to a later date. Then they come to the door and I don't answer. Then bits rebooted I avoid again. Until I get warnings. Same with electric checks. My garden door lock has broken so I can't lock it. I have left it for over a year because I don't want to let anyone in.. same with a small leak /drip under my 2nd bath. Its been like it for years. Got got any worse over time so I think its a slow drip and only when shower/bath is in use. I avoid GP as much as possible. I got really ill at one point. To the point i couldn't breath properly stand couldn't get to the toilet at some points i thought i could die. Runs deep. But i avoided GP then as well. I have got a bit better with GP as its message and over the phone. But i still get scared they may ask to see me. I was meant to go for a blood test but didn't go.

Socially i only have 1 friend its not a close friendship maybe see her 3 or 4 times. She has been in my house a few times. But i still feel worried. Which i can't explain. Shes asked me to go out for her birthday a few times. But i always say no. I can manage a 121 chat with the friend as I have known her for 19 years. If a 3rd person comes along. I instantly remove myself .

I don't like being on buses /public transport. But I have no choice some of the time.

I can't do small talk. I feel nervous and kind of get knots inside.

With other more practical things mainly in the house. I will do a wash and leave it in the machine for 2 or 3 days then i have to rewash. That can then end up in the machine longer than it should be. In the mean time more washing is piling up and I'm going in circles.

Dishwasher is simlar load it cleam it. Don't put things away. End up with dirty plates ovet the work top because Dishwasher is full of clean stuff.

Have 2 hidden bins in only put a bin liner in one so only 1 can be used. That gets full and I start using carrier bags for rubbish.

When I'm tidying /decorating/ etc I kind of do to much at once in my head it all makes sense and all straight forward. But then once I'm doing things it changes. Examples i will leave my kitchen in a mess. And go to build a bed. Then I may come down stairs for something alan key for example. But I don't keep things in normal places so this Alan key could be anywhere. So thats apart of it to I have stuff in random places.
Whilst down stairs i decide to start cleaning/sorting the kitchen. Then my mind gos back to what I was doing up stairs so then I leave the kitchen .

I think theres more to explain or a better way maybe but I can't think clearly.

So i want to explain this to my gp in a message but obviously I can't write it like this. Even though this would be my natural way. I don't know how to explain it.

We can’t diagnose you obviously, but your presentation sounds a lot like combined autism and ADHD (AuDHD)

Thank you. Yeah obviously can't diagnose. Its just to explore a bit. Before I contact gp work out how etc.

Demand avoidance could be a part of it as well. There are lots of different types - ADHD demand avoidance, autistic demand avoidance, PDA.

Do you need a diagnosis? Will it actually help you to have a label?

I don't know. Maybe I would understand myself a bit more. I'm not sure.

I guess i may find out at some point. Or might. Gp may not even refer me 🤷‍♀️

I do think everyone struggles with things in life and there isn’t necessarily a diagnosis for all difficulties. Saying that you sound like you maybe have social anxiety. But no one can diagnose you on here.

It does sound like you could have traits. I am autistic with ADHD and many of the things you said are like me. I definitely think it's worth talking to GP - although be aware some aren't trained up for neurodivergency so keep doing your own research too. Look into Right to Choose if you're in England.
@Lexy2345 I don't think it's so much about having a label as discovering something about yourself. If you have more of an idea of what to research for and where to look for support it can be absolutely lifesaving and a hugely positive step. I used to think I was just disorganised, lazy and a lesser human than others..

This will sound blunt but sometimes people are just rubbish at doing things they need to do and it doesn’t mean they have a condition. Things like leaving people outside knocking your door when you had arranged appointments is just rude. It doesn’t suddenly become less rude because you say you have ADHD.

I think this thread makes more sense if you've seen OP's other threads she posted last night and I think there was one the night before too.

OP do you mind if someone links the thread(s) so there is that context? It's just the opening post reads as though it's a natural follow on to the others and some people will only just be seeing this one as the first installment. I won't add a link if you don't want me to.

I think if you contact the GP it would probably help to start off with a clear opener which makes it clear what you want to discuss. You could start with something like "A lot of people have been telling me to look into ADHD because I'm finding it difficult to complete the tasks of everyday life and it's causing me problems".

Then they will probably ask what kinds of problems, and then you could give a more detailed explanation, but the starting point is clearer.

Could do. I forgot I did one if them though. I think the one about dd bedroom it kind of came out within the posts/replies. I think the first thread i done maybe similar to this one. But i think this one says almost everything .more detail i think? Linking may be helpful. But it could also loose the thread and get stuck on DD bedroom.

I might mess up what in trying to say and waste their time.

@Marroon but if there is a pattern of behaviour that is an impairment to every day life and has been causing problems for a long time then that is worth looking at? No one is going to diagnose anything based on one or two current behaviours.

The label of “just rubbish” is readily available if you struggle in the ways OP describes, others pin it on you and it becomes the way you see and describe yourself. It sounds like OP has a lot of social anxiety and finds interactions a challenge. If the upshot of investigations leads to a diagnosis and that helps OP understand herself and/or get help then surely that’s a good thing? Seeking a diagnosis isn’t the search for an excuse for behaviour, it’s the search for an explanation of why we respond to life the way we do and struggle. I doubt OP wants to be rude to people so what do you suggest she does to change it?

I would hazard a guess at audhd - adhd and autism. I think you should message the gp and ask for right to choose assessment for either of those adhd perhaps to start and they might suggest autism and will help you get a further assessment.
I’m having my final assessment soon and I will try and get some medication if I have it.

Yeah of course it could just be im rubbish at things. May be no reason its just how i am. But I may find out either way. And yes it is rude leaving people outside if i have an appointment. But its also probably not normal that I'm scared of letting people in my house.

So so I just say i think there's a possibility i could have adhd. Can you refer me to right to choose. Or do I need to explain more?

That’s all you need to say and they will sort out the rest. There are a few more steps, like choosing the provider who will do your assessment and filling out a questionnaire. It’s pretty straight forward but of course if it is adhd or autism, it’s still challenging. Don’t give up on it and if you need help ask them to help you.

I just want to say that everything you are describing sounds like what I have and I’m going through the process currently.

So gp won't question me? I was going to ask for right to choose?

I hope you feel ok about it?:
Can i ask how you started the ball rolling.

And you think the NHS is there to help you to understand yourself a bit more?

Ok so everyone who has autism or adhd. Should not have looked into it or got a diagnosis?

They won’t question you. They will send you a questionnaire that’s all.

I’ve reached a point where I’m struggling more than ever to cope. I wil probably lose my job because of it soon and I struggle to feed my children some days (and plenty more) I am in burnout and need to take action. It’s been a lifetime of difficultly.

Thank you. I will try and message them.

I would ignore people like this. It’s just not worth the energy. Unless you have something like this, it’s hard for some people to understand. My advice is stick to mixing with other neurodivergent people, it’s much easier!