I don't want to let gas man in

[Whyohwhy99]

I don't want to let the gas man in. I have already cancelled twice. Every year I get warning letters.. I don't want to let anyone in. I don't want have any form of interaction. I don't want anyone physically in my house. I don't even know when they are coming. I just know its an afternoon appointment.

Are your kids never allowed friends round?

Oh @Whyohwhy99, I've read a few of your threads recently. I don't mean to be unkind but you don't seem very well - please speak to your GP, because living like this isn't healthy.

As a both a landlord and a tenant, even post the recent legislation changes, if you continued to refuse access, I would now be at the stage of taking steps to evict you because of the real danger to life not just for you but people living near you. Gas safety checks exist for a reason. I have responsibilities as a landlord to ensure that nobody is harmed by my failure to adequately maintain my property. I think you're in an HA property? I;m sure they aren't strangers to mental health issues. Talk to them - you're really risking your home if you don't.

No way in hell is a gas safety check 10 minutes long.

As has been said, if someone has been to your house and done it in 10 minutes, then it will not have been done properly.

30 minutes minimum.

We have a gas fire, gas cooker and hob, and gas central heating, and our gas engineer is usually here around 45 minutes, when he/she does the gas safety check.

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OP - do you have anyone at all?

It really doesn't matter how long it takes. The fact is that it's a legal requirement for a landlord to ensure it is done, and legal protections exist even post the recent renters rights bill to ensure that tenants can't cause a danger to life for people living with or near them by refusing access.

@Whyohwhy99 - trying to think of some short term solutions before you can speak to your GP. You've referenced a DD and DS in other threads. Could you book the appointment on a day when they can be in the house? They can let the gasman in show them boiler etc whilst you're upstairs in a bedroom?

I don't know.

I didn't say it matters how long it takes.

It's the OP who is stressing about it taking more than 10 minutes.

And I know it's a legal requirement for landlords to have gas safety checks done. I'm not daft. I said this way back in the thread that the OP could lose her tenancy if she refuses access and she will have to allow the engineer to be there as long as it takes.

RTFT!

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Quite often the enginneers dont turn up but what ive learned from being a tenant is that the legal requirement only counts when its the tenant breaking it

Print it out and give it to them to read.

Obviously there's my children. But they have absolutely no idea. And i would never ever tell them. No friends .

OP you sound like you may be autistic - autism is primarily a social and communication disorder. You find interaction with other people incredibly overwhelming and difficult - you fear anything unpredictable and that you haven't been through bfore. It might help you understand yourself if you look into this. Obviously I can't diagnose you over the internet but I work with autistic young people and you sound as if you are struggling to process 'normal' social interaction.

I hope you can get some help so that you do not find every day interactions so anxiety provoking.

That's why you need help sorting all this out Hugs.

Ages?

I think a child has to be over the age of 15 for a worker to come in - if they could be there, you can go hide somewhere in the house so be available but not 'around'

Your children don't know about your anxiety? Idk if anxiety is the correct word so no harm intended

This is a social phobia and potentially agoraphobia. @Whyohwhy99 the GP will have seen it before, I promise. You are not the only person to have felt like this, far from it. There is help available and you can definitely get better.

I have an appointment at gp in a couple of weeks .i done it via message But i mentioned adhd not autism..

It sounds like you've got some mental health issues, OP. I wouldn't usually jump to this but I feel like medication could really help you and bring your anxiety down and get you out of this panicked fearful mode. Hope the GP appointment is about this.

There is different levels to autism as there is with ADHD.

It's a big spectrum, and unfortunately for adults there is a very very long waiting list and I'd hate for you to be wasting years living this way waiting for a 'reason' - go private.

But medication only helps, never fixes ofc.

It's like the more you face your fears, the less scary they are - exposure. One step at a time and you will get there.

I could possibly go through right ti choose.

I wouldn't want meds

How old are your children? If they are school aged then they'll know your way if living is not the norm. What happens when they want friends over? Do you go to school events?

School events hardly happen.as I explained i can go out and can do things. I keep to myself hide on my phone . And pray no one tries talking to me. They don't have friends over

I appreciate you might not want medication but in some cases of severe anxiety then just therapy alone probably won't help you much. Could you even sit and talk to a therapist at this stage?

Your children are missing out on so much not being able to have friends over and having to be your shield against the world at times. That's not fair to them at all and it's no way for any of you to live.

It's not sustainable though, is it? Or are you thinking that this is going to be their childhood? Getting help cant possibly be harder than living like this.

So if not medication then what? Therapy?

That was emapathic