How best to support daughter and baby after a caesarean

[WillThingsEverBeFergaliciousAgain]

If you had a c section and needed support to recover can I ask what was helpful, what pissed you off, what could whoever was staying with you in hospital have done better, what was needed after and any other advice you could give me please.

Im going to be a granny in a few months and I'm the only support person around.

I've never had a section before and I have zero experience of supporting someone after one and I am very cautious about not doing too much, taking over, or generally being annoying afterwards.

I already plan to get my baby set up all comfy with her baby and then disappear off out for an hour at a time from hospital, and make sure that they are comfy and resting at home while I get on with cleaning, cooking, washing etc.

Any advice, experience or anything else is much appreciated. I can imagine it would be quite claustrophobic needing someone around 24/7 in those early days but we dont have a lot of choice unfortunately.

I think I had to wear the post-surgery stockings for 2 weeks after, so having a spare pair to wear whilst the others are being washed is helpful.

From memory, I had to have blood thinning injections for about 10 days post surgery. Both are precautions to avoid developing a blood clot and I think it’s fairly standard. They show you how to do it before you’re discharged - they’re very easy to do. But yep, she’ll definitely need some support.

I had 3 sections. My advice would be to keep her topped up with pain meds, keep them regular. It's easy to think you're doing great until you forget a dose!
Encourage her to keep moving. You can seize up and then it gets really painful to get moving again. It feels like you want to just wallow in bed or on the sofa but that hinders recovery.
Keep topping up her drinks and make sure she's hydrated. You sweat a lot and it's easy to get constipated especially if she needs iron supplements and that hurts. Straining when your stomach muscles are trying to knit back together isn't fun!
And yes a lovely fresh bedding set for when she comes home is a really nice thing to do.

You sound like a really lovely, thoughtful mum op. Your daughter is lucky to have you.

First things first make her eat a high good protein diet before and after the op this will ensure great healing

Because they send you home with the injections and medical staff don’t visit you to do them.

It is exciting OP - and you sound excited.

I am glad you can share this time with her.

In the hospital - don’t leave her alone unless she tells you too. It’s a very lonely place and I didn’t want to be on my own at all. Also the effects of surgery made me unwell and I kept dropping off with baby on me so having someone there made me feel safe.

At home - don’t ask, just do. Having extra mental load of telling someone what to do is infuriating. Do the dishes, put a wash on, put the laundry away etc.
Make easy meals than can be heated up, buy lots of snacks in so she doesn’t have to go to the shops.

Don't do what my mum did which was pop round to 'help', insist I get out the house for a walk with DH, then say as soon as we were back 'Didn't you hear her start to cry as you left?!' in a cross tone before handing her back.

We had literally been round the block (as far as I could go after the section) and baby had been fed/winded/changed right before I left. That walk was the first time I'd been out in the sunshine and fresh air in ten days due to complications post birth and we were gone about 7 minutes.

Don't do that and you'll be grand

Blood thinning injections are standard after a CS. If you have a medical history making clots more likely (be that your own history or close family members - for me it was my granfather having DVT) expect up to 6 weeks of daily thinners.

God that's awful.

Thanks for all of the advice. I had no idea about the injections at all. Or the surgical stockings, although it makes total sense. Also about keeping topped up with pain meds I steadily of waiting and moving about as well.

Im so sorry so many of you had bad experiences 💐 I also did after I had my babies and so I really want my daughter to have a different experience, and I know thats down to me.

I am very excited to see my daughter to become a mum, and to meet my grandbaby, and get some snuggles in when my daughter is comfortable with that too

I’ve had 2 CS - both unplanned, and one really quite traumatic

I genuinely had trouble even getting out of bed and having a shower initially. Standing for more than a few minutes was difficult initially. I was happy to look after my baby, but sometimes needed someone to bring him to me, but also needed people to look after me! Cooking, cleaning, washing, feeding & watering visitors.

I was also very frustrated that I couldn’t out, so I really appreciated someone supporting me on a walk, as well as driving me to appts over the first few weeks.

YYY to advice on helping with injections (they were pretty straightforward actually) and those awful stockings!

And don’t criticise what she’s doing with her baby because you did it differently. Maybe gen up on current NHS guidance. But also, realise when she’s asking for, or needs, help.

I am no position to criticise anyone honestly, I muddled my way through parenting for the most part and found what worked for my babies, and she will find what works for hers. Any advice will only be given if explicitly asked for.

I can be there for at least 2 weeks, and between her siblings and I we can cover the other 4 weeks if needed.

Thanks for all of the advice, this has been so helpful.

They aren't that hard to administer tbh. They're pre loaded ones, a bit like WLIs.

I had the injections and the stockings for 6 weeks. Stockings were awful in the heatwave but the midwife said that the mums in winter didn't seem to find them any better. Injections weren't too bad, it was the thought of them beforehand that was worse. I don't think I did them very well either as I ended up with a bruise every time. I got my period back while still on the injections with dc4 which was horrendous. I said with dc5 I would be stopping the injections for the duration of my period but thankfully my period waited a couple of days after 6 weeks to put in an appearance.

I would be cautious about changing all her bedding as a surprise. She might be delighted, but she might be upset that you have gone in her room and wonder if you have looked through her stuff. It might be safer to just say "I'd love to buy you some new bedding and make your bed all lovely for when you come home - would that be okay?" and get her OK to go ahead. She might like to choose a duvet set to her taste also.

I would also say probably ask about the bedding. My mum washed and made our bed before I came home from hospital but the night sweats in the first couple of weeks were something else so I would have hated to have had brand new bedding on for that! I think you said you'd got her a feeding pillow but something like that with a nice pattern might be better than a whole new bedding set. I loved my feeding pillow with little owls on, kinda wish I still had it thinking about it now!

It took me a few days to be able to stand up or shift my position while holding the baby, as I needed my arms to push myself up without using tummy muscles. That meant that when my 'DH' (now ex) decided not to stay with me in hospital, I had no way of putting baby back into the crib, so just ended up staying awake all night holding him until the morning staff came in. If you do leave her make sure she has the buzzer in case she needs anything, mine had fallen down the side of the bed, but could look for it as i was stick under a baby.

Oh my word, the advice to read the current baby care info is excellent! Even if we don’t mean it, most of us offer the advice that we were given… I found other people telling me to do stuff that defied all the safe sleeping/breastfeeding advice so stressful. Read up on the SIDS rules, feeding and changing and sleep advice… she may decide what works for her in time, but the NHS will be going hard on that messaging.

You know your daughter best, but I’d be stressed about bleeding, milk sick etc. on new bedding. plus what’s needed will be in flux a bit.