So, dh has publicly liked a pornstar instagram photo

[Didntthinkthiswouldbeme]

Guessing he's perhaps Done it by accident ot something

He already made florty comments to someone on tiktok a year ago
A women made a comment, that she likes dancing around to a certain song in her pants
To which he replies film it and post it

Hewas was following some random women he doesn't know

After that happened he said sorry amd it won't happen again... and the comment about filming it and posting was a joke

News feed has quite a few similar posts in it, yet he's only like one, realistically tame in comparison, he's very bothered by his image
which is why I think it's possibly accidental

Otherwise they woukd be loads and worse ones
No messages but could be deleted

You know what he’s done. You don’t need to go all Agatha Christie on him.

Just tell him you don’t feel the same way and it’s over?

I'm not shocked at men watching a bit of porn though
But it just seems weirder on insta somehow

Because I wanna know exactly what he's done he will try to minimise as a accidental like becuse there is only one

He's not following anyone, there's no messages
He's even left his account open

It's the home page that has other similar posts, the explore page doesn't

No it's not typical. DH's feed consists of Land Rover parts and suppliers of same. Locomotives and old maps of sidings and cuttings and track beds. The most exciting it gets is mower parts and how to measure shoe laces.

Thanks good to get some context as mine is holidays, friends things, house things, few celeb and I don't really follow any celebs

I could say delete all SM, but he could easy watch porn so..

Hard when you gave children

We have younger too

I could set up a fake account, and catfish him, arrange to meet him see how far he'd go.....

He may have clicked by accident but he wasn't looking accident. Even if it just came up in his feed it's because he looks at that sort of content generally.

You're not wrong to find it gross but I think if you're going to confront him you need an aim. Is there something he could actually respond with that would change things for you? I'm imagining not. This isn't a one off problem that needs addressing pronto, it's one slice in a pattern of related behaviour.

Personally I'd take time to have a think about what I want and why, and not make it about this one picture that you'll never get a clear answer about anyway. You also don't want to hand him the gift of being able to make you look like a nut-job "I accidentally clicked on some woman's picture online - she wasn't even nude or anything - and BAM marriage over!!! I guess she did me favour haha!!".

If you want to solve this problem and continue the relationship, what would make that something you'd consider e.g. couples and separate therapy, where he does discuss porn. Obviously its up to him to agree to that so it's just about identifying what your requirements might be with no guarantee of him being on board.

The trust is gone. The relationship is done.

He might, just might, like something by accident and tick it,
But looking in the first place wasn’t an accident was it?
I wouldn’t excuse this,

That's exactly my thought, I think he would be embarrassed if he knew he's publicly liked this!

Well say the tiktok comment, what do you think to that?
Harmless flirty comment or disrespectful

I'm pretty sure he would be really passed off it of was me

It's also weirder because family members can see it. You already said you won't confront him in front of your child (I agree that's a bad idea) but maybe do point out to him how cringe worthy it can be for adults children seeing their dad/granddad posting thirsty comments on Instagram or tiktok etc. Because if social media accounts are linked, and they often are because that's how people keep in touch, young people can wind up seeing their granddad's thirst tweets on AI Tiktokkers, or weird dad comments underneath instaporn. Utterly gruesome and yet another way generation Z is suffering.

It doesn’t matter in this moment what he would think about you doing it - what does that have to do with YOUR feelings?

You seem to be trying to ‘understand’ him, but what you are actually doing is trying to rationalise/excuse/justify what he does. He has form for being a sleaze, and he has no reason to change. If you ‘find’ more evidence, you will find a way to rationalise that too, based on your posts.

Up to you if you want to live like that, and model that kind of relationship for your kids 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you are ok with your partner watching porn I don't see what the issue is. You are obviously happy to be in a relationship with a guy who enjoys getting his sexual gratification seeing women being exploited, violated and abused. He doesnt respect women. He obviously doesnt respect you.
.

Didn't even read all of the "and another time" comments, because there's no need. He doesn't respect you at all. Not enough to not publicly tell other women he wants to fuck them by liking that kind of content, and ask them to posts videos like that.

Divorce when?

Depends. I'm guessing he isn't accidentally liking Mary Berry pictures of random garden photos. I'm guessing it's not accidental sadly.

Tell him to stop florting.

Porn is porn. You can’t pick and choose which medium you would prefer him to use.

You are missing that if she saw he had liked it on Instagram, others will too. There's a seperatr conversation about looking at porn and what is/isn't appropriate (I don't think it is all the same. A suggestive picture is not the same as talking to an only fans model). But looking at it in what is the digital equivalent of the living room is off. If you wouldn't say a comment on front of your kids at the dinner table, don't say the comment on social media where they can read it

Lots of older men don't realise they are publicly sharing their comments etc, so it's not necessarily deliberate (if it is that's a whole other level of weird) but it warrants a conversation. Otherwise everyone just has to pretend they don't see what dad posts. And thats not fair on young adults and borderline abusive to teenagers.

Don’t involve your DC in this