Normal stuff you wish you could do

[Darkdiamond]

Mine is wear jeans. I have the flattest, most rectangular shaped bottom and every pair of jeans (or any trousers actually) I have ever tried on look horrendous from behind. I have found jeans that look good everywhere but when I turn around its a different story. I just could not feel confident in jeans unless I jave a long top on over the top. I would love nothing more than to just throw on a t shirt and jeans because I just love that look but it looks awful!

The second is drive anywhere beyond my few tried and tested routes. I have been driving the same few routes for years and I cannot deviate from them. When I try its like I have been punched in the face: I can't think properly, all of the signs completely overwhelm me, I become so anxious my heart hammers in my chest and I make really rash and dangerous decisions out of panic. I go into immediate flight, fright or freeze mode and it feels like I am being made to.solve a really difficult calculation while someone is hitting me around the face. When I try to push myself out of my comfort zone (and I have) it usually results in people beeping at me and me pulling over to burst into tears. My tried and tested routes are completely fine and I am safe, careful and attentive on the road.

Anyway, those are two regular, run of the mill things that I feel like I cannot do.

What are yours?

It have Parkinson’s, life before easier 9 yrs in, at 64 affects me daily

I know there was plenty of body shaming in the 90s, but I’m kind of grateful to have grown up in an era when ‘my arse is too flat’ just… wasn’t a thing? I still can’t quite get my head around it, I’ve never walked along the road and thought that the woman in front of me had a flat arse. Not once in my life. Likewise I have no idea what hip dips are.

Spell and use grammar properly. To be able to write in a polished way.
To be able to write a situation without to and throwing.
To be able to have a conversation with confidence.
To be able to socialise like the average person.
To sound educated 🙈

Light a campfire, swim in deep water, go snorkelling again, speak in front of an audience, wear jeans and feel good wearing them, drive on a long trip and not panic getting lost in the process so now I just drive to local roads I know.

Be part of a friendship group. I’m friendly with people individually but I don’t do well in a group. I’m always the one left on my own in the middle while everyone else splinters into smaller groups around me. I have to work hard to be included in things and it never works out so I just fade away.

Eye makeup. When I apply it, it looks dreadful (especially eyeliner).

Communication in person - I am autistic and I find social or business engagements exhausting.

Ball sports - I suck.

See without my glasses.

Self regulate special interests or topics (see autism).

I wish I could go for a long multi hour walk through the countryside!! But I can't due to disability.

Run and jump! I have a permanent injury. I’d love to be able to run with my kids but I have to be content with lower impact exercises.

Raise one eyebrow. With me, it's both or nothing. There are so many occasions on which a one-eyebrow lift would be appropriate. It's a lifelong regret of mine.

It doesn’t really come up, but I cannot blow up balloons to save my life.

The most obvious one in my case is learn to drive. I'm dyspraxic and after extensive attempts to learn, I just had to accept that it was never going to happen.

Don't get me wrong, I manage fine without a car. My DP drives (and loves driving) and I live in a city with really good public transport. It doesn't have that much impact on my life. But I'd still like to at least have the capability.

Play tennis (have always been completely useless);

Swim with an effortless front crawl (I’m pretty good at backstroke and breaststroke - though have had to give up breaststroke because my knees don’t like it);

Speak at least one other language fluently;

Sew and knit well enough to make my own clothes (I can do basic knitting, but the sewing them together is never very successful)!

Walk down the street without thinking about every step. I’m autistic and my brain gets fixated on every step being ‘even’ so if I step on a crack or drain or shadow with one foot I must step on one with the other. End up doing weird little hops. Infuriating.

OP, do you use the sat nav when you're driving? It really helped me to try driving to new places. I wouldn't worry about the jeans. Just wear them. Everybody is so hung up on themselves I'm sure they wouldn't notice. I wish I was good at sports and a confident speaker. I also wish I could not always be the listener in conversations and be more chatty.

Go on boats without heaving or feeling dreadful. Tried the meds. Ruined many a trip.

Raise one eyebrow.

Do a bra up without having to spin it round from the front, fasten any button or zip up the back of a top or dress.
I’ve dislocated my shoulder twice and have really shit mobility.

I wish I could drive. I’ve tried to learn multiple times and never make it to the standard I need to be to pass a test. I’m dyspraxic and find it so so difficult to do all the different things I need to do at the same time to drive safely.

I wish I could go places without using google maps. I have an absolutely awful sense of direction which is also related to my dyspraxia. I could easily get lost walking somewhere I’ve already been many times. Sometimes I have to go somewhere literally around a hundred times before I remember how to get there without using my phone.

I wish I could make friends. I wasn’t diagnosed with dyspraxia until I was 16 and grew up thinking I was just stupid and everyone else was better than me. I developed social anxiety in primary school and still find talking to people I don’t know well very stressful. I can talk to people if I need to but I tend to assume people don’t like me, so I try to get through conversations quickly so they’re not stuck talking to me. It makes making friends very difficult.

Swim in the sea

This. A million times this.

Be able to go to Marks and Spencer Foodhall without leaving with a Mountain Bar 😂

This confuses me.
Why?

Reach the highest shelf in some supermarkets.

Be able to swim and reach the top shelf without having to ask my 13 year old to get something down for me

So many struggling with lack of confidence when driving……. Have you considered taking an Advanced Driving course?

As for you and your jeans, @Darkdiamond - just wear what feels comfortable. I’m sure a lot of your inhibitions are mostly in your mind. However, as an elderly woman I will say that working out to strengthen your legs (and arms and abs…) is definitely worth it. So many of my friends struggle because they never bothered.