Veering way OT for a moment, if I may: I had a "Beam me up, Scotty!" moment this morning and need to get it out of my system.
I can't remember when I last got on a bus, but today for various reasons it was my only option.
The journey was uneventful until a dead ringer for David Walliams' "I'm a laydee" character got on and sat directly in front of me. The smell of sickly sweet perfume was overpowering - and wafted everywhere as this chap affectedly waved his (bright red) fan in front of his face.
The journey continued without incident until an elderly man in the seat behind me tapped my shoulder, nodded towards the fan waver and said, none too quietly in what sounded to me like a South London accent, "Thassa maaan! Look at 'is whiskas and Adam's apple."
Put on the spot and not wishing to appear rude, I turned to him and silently mouthed, "I know", at the same time noticing the other passengers quietly convulsing.
It seemed like an eternity (but was probably only minutes) that I sat in trepidation of any more comments from seat behind until the "laydee" reached his stop, glared round the bus and got off.
Never again.😱