A year to change my life, anyone want to join me?

[OneYearLater]

I’m 3 years away from 50 and have had a mental list of things I’ve wanted to change for so long but never really got round to doing anything about them. I’ve read/watched so much self-help stuff but never seem to actually put any of it into practice. I’ve had enough of just bumbling along and doing not much so going to spend the next year putting in as much effort as I can to make things happen.
I’m posting here for accountability but also happy for anyone who wants to join me. I plan to update weekly, if anyone is interested. Below is my list of where I’d like to be in a year:

• Regular strength training, really noticed myself getting weaker as I get older
• Joining a running club and having completed a half marathon
• Fit in a pair of Levi’s that I bought over a decade ago
• Decluttering my house and making it feel more like home. It’s not in a terrible state but we’ve lived here nearly 5 years and done some work but it really needs some extra love and care.
• Start building more of a social circle. I WFH and haven’t put much effort into getting to know too many people where I live and have really felt that in the last few years.
• Find a way of making a second income
• I have 2 DDs and I’d like to find a hobby I can do with each of them
• Improve my relationship with DH, we’re still happy but life has got in the way the last few years and I miss the connection we used to have
• Stop wasting time on rubbish, mostly doom scrolling
• Get refocused at work and get better at my job
• Change my style, it would currently be described as middle aged frump!
• Deep down I’ve never really liked myself and the way I look. I want to at least not hate what I see in the mirror and accept myself for who I am

That’s the list, I’ve started by joining a gym I just need to make myself go. Not sure what’s next but will see what I can improve on each week.

@LadyLucksalot do you mind if I ask what you do working for yourself? I’ve no idea where to start.

@Clearingaspace I’m in a calorie deficit at the moment and try to do 15k steps a day. Been on it for a while although it’s only recently that I’ve started being really consistent with it.

The gum health is definitely something I can relate to. I had severe gum disease a couple of years ago, completely missed by a useless dentist. I changed dentists when I moved house and it was picked up straight away. Unfortunately I lost a tooth but it’s right at the back of my mouth so not noticeable. I have an electric toothbrush now and use teepee brushes twice a day and it’s made a huge difference.

I registered as self-employed a few years ago doing private language tuition. I wanted something where I choose my own hours to fit around my family as well as using my brain in the best way I could.

It does mean I don't get the stabilty of a regular monthly payslip, but I set my own rates and can do as much or as little as I need.

I've made a plan to do additional learning support and am creating my own online program as well, not language tuition here but something meaningful to me.

There's another 20 years or so becore I intend to retire (if I'm lucky enough to be around), and I want to make the most of the time I have here, so I reshaped everything after a health crisis a while ago and actively seek to contribute in a way that makes the lives of people around me a little better.

Always leave a room, big or small, better for you having been there, that's my motto.

I've made a good start on the decluttering today

• got 2 bags of baby/toddler stuff for my friend tomorrow who very usefully has a younger child.
• gave a few bits away on Facebook today - potty etc
• bag of old towels/sheets in my car - I'm hoping to find a material bin nearby
• big bag of newspapers/papers in my car for the tip tomorrow
• ordered a bookcase and storage boxes for my room to store the pile of jigsaws/books that are currently piled up next to my bed
• ordered a soft toy storage thing for my daughter's many many teddies
• ordered a bag/box to store firewood

Next steps for decluttering

• give pile of jigsaws to charity shops - no idea if there's pieces missing though!
• go through my wardrobe - I have a lot in there that hasn't fit me for years - i was always waiting to lose weight - accept this isn't happening!
• start clearing garage/conservatory - there's plastic plant pots, old toys that need giving away
• gather together and store daughters artwork in a box
• wash spare double quilt then store under bed in vacuum bag
• find pieces for some toys I want to give away

I have to wait a month for my bookcase but it'll be a great excuse to get rid of more stuff when I fill it up!

My office is still a state and that's the one room I really need to sort to help with work productivity but it feels too big a job

Oooh I also had a Korean eyelash lift today - if anyone wants an easy way to instantly look great I highly recommend!

@LadyLucksaloti love the idea of a roadmap for yourself

Love this, I absolutely want to spend the time until I retire doing something I actually enjoy. At the moment I just feel I’m working to make rich people richer and not doing anything of actual value.

Your motto is a good one, I might start using that myself.

@12things you’ve achieved loads. I really struggle to get rid of clothes, I’ve got sizes from 6 (that there’s no way I’ll ever wear again) to 14. Some of them are 20+ years old and just wouldn’t suit me anymore. Think I’ll make a start on them this weekend.

Hi - I have just seen this thread and have similar goals to many of you. This summer I am aiming to:

Regular strength training - I have osteopenia heading towards osteoporosis. If I don’t halt the loss of bone density I will probably have osteoporosis in 5-7 years.

Declutter and reorganise my home - I have too many clothes I don’t wear but haven’t got rid of. Plus other things I am keeping ‘just in case’. My paperwork is a visible mess as I don’t have a proper home for it.

Start building more of a social circle. I have some great longstanding friends but most aren’t local. I would like to do some local activities or hobbies to make local friends.

Stop wasting time on rubbish, mostly doom scrolling. I used to read books but now I read Facebook!

Have a style rethink and start making more considered clothing purchases. I would like to have a makeover in terms of clothes, makeup and hairstyle but in my mid 50s all the choices seem so confusing. I think I would like to dress a bit smarter / look more polished and also get my skin to glow.

@LadyLucksalot I love your motto too. I'm a cleaner and yesterday I was chuckling to myself as I cleaned different areas - they were all certainly better after I'd been in !
@12things you did so much decluttering, that's amazing. Are you putting off clearing your office by doing other things ?!! I do this sometimes.
I think you can declutter your office by breaking it down into baby steps.
You'll feel great afterwards, sending 💪

@Myswweetchilddefinutwlt putting it off! But if it means I get other stuff sorted then it's not all bad

Oh definitely.
Sorry I was rushing ( grandchildren on their way) - didn't mean it to sound negative - you've done great 💯

Absolutely didn't think you were being negative don't worry!
I was ruthless and went through my wardrobe and got another binbag for the charity shop this morning
Plus they accepted 'rags' so managed to leave a load of old clothes with holes etc with them too
I've realised how much easier it is to get rid of stuff now I'm older - I don't feel the social pressure to keep things I 'should' own like high heels, formal dresses etc, I don't think I'll want to bare my legs much now I've got varicose veins so I've got rid of all the shorter dresses and I have more disposable income so if I did desperately need something specific I have the funds to buy it.
Much easier than when I was skint and had to hold onto everything 'just in case'

@12things I'm ruthless too.
I've thrown out my work clothes and now just have 2 x leggings and 2 x tees. I wash them every night so rotation it is.
Dh sorted the bedding too - we don't need 6 sets.

You just have 2 leggings and tops for work or for everything?
Either way well done!

Just for work 🤣

Morning all, have been to the gym again this morning. I also found a coffee shop open really close by so went in and had a coffee on my own. It was empty so half hour of peace! Think this might be my new Sunday morning routine.
I’ve found a running group that has a beginners group so going to start that this week and also upping my gym sessions from 2 a week to 3.
Going to attempt some declutterring today and look for some ideas of how I can make my bedroom nicer.
I’ve also suggested park run to DD1 and she didn’t dismiss it. We can’t go for a couple of weeks due to other things but think this might be something nice and pressure free we can do together. We can also go for breakfast after, which I’m sure will make it more appealing.
Hope everyone else is doing well.

Can I join please?

My goals are very very similar to others

1. Lose 2 stone
2. Lower Cholesterol
3. Improve Fatty Liver
4. Get stronger, especially legs
5. Walk at least 10,000 steps a day
6. Drink less alcohol
7. Stop looking through phone in the evening
8. Declutter clothes
9. Improve sex life. Been married years, love each other, it's just not happening on a regular basis
10. Improve finances - stop spending money on Amazon rubbish

Am aware that is a lot but 1-6 are all different parts of the same problem I think.

I love the idea of doing parkrun with your daughter
Hopefully it'll encourage both of you to go if you've got each other to keep you accountable too.

Just found this thread but would love to join in and make myself more accountable by writing it down. Had a tough year both personally and professionally but I feel just about strong enough to make changes and move on. I’ll be back with my list if not too late to join.

Morning, hope we're all making some small steps towards our bigger goals.
Is everyone counting the end of this month as their 1st month ?
( I started last week in June, so for me July is Month 1).
Out of my 4 targets, 1 seems easy enough ( the saving), 2 are proving difficult ( the weight - though I have lost 2lbs - I think I just get impatient and the wine intake decrease hasn't happened but I have been away). The 4th one - increased exercise is going well.
I'll keep trying.
August should be better as I've got nothing happening 💪

One thing at a time is probably the way to do this op! Totally manageable list though!

I’ve been on a similar path since last September - I had completely lost myself since I had my second child - I was overweight and unmotivated and unhappy tbh

I started with changing diet - calorie counting and making sure I was more healthy and balanced then I started home work outs with weights a few days a week

eventually taking it to the gym and moving up
the weights - I now never miss a session - I do 3 days a week always - sometimes more

then I started commuting to work on my bike and built the courage to take my little boy on the back and now we cycle absolutely everywhere

I joined a roller skating group and am having a 6 week block of lessons with my 5 year old - it’s so fun

my next goal is the house declutter and getting better at slow cooker / batch cooking meals to make my evenings easier

Hi all, still taking small steps but been feeling a bit flat this week.
Great to hear some of the progress everyone has made and have a few more people join in.
Think I’ll review where I am at the beginning of each month just because it’s easier to remember!

I’m ending the month (pay day tomorrow) with all my debt (mortgage, cc, loan) in one place and very visible and also not into my overdraft - which has not been the case for a while! I have managed to put my phone down a bit more - just by letting the battery run down and not charging it up - and read a bit more.
Baby steps!

Thankyou @12things, great suggestion on the lower cost socialising and I have moved to brunches at home, coffees, drinks out over meals and it's worked really well.

In terms of my goals.
Weight loss- come off the jabs which has been good but not lost the 8lb but it's not going up so that's on hold I would say!

Wardrobe/style revamp is ongoing and feeling good. Still have too much stuff.

I'm actually going to add teeth and gums after reading another poster. Have made big strides on flossing and brushing and hygienist said nothing about gum disease this time.

My biggest thing though is the career change and I am loving my new course and field so ZERO regrets there and tbh it's my main goal and quite full on so if it's my big achievement for 2026/7 I will take it.

Doom scrolling less and am reading a book and doing a craft hobby which is also having the net result of spending less.

Well done everyone with progress x

I'm a similar age.

1. I need to declutter, me and my husband have both lost 4 stone so we have a lot of clothes that are too big for us plus it's time to accept I'm not having another child so I can get rid of the baby clothes.

1. We moved into our forever house 2 ago, it's time to decorate and make it our own.

1. I'm running a half marathon in November so I need to be ready for that!

1. I moved to our area 10 years ago but haven't made many friends so it's time to make a social circle- Does anyone have any advice? my husband needs some friends too. I'm thinking about volunteering with park conservation/maintenance, I'm also joining a running club soon. I find I can happily chat to people but I can quite 'close the deal' and become friends.