Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

A year to change my life, anyone want to join me?

130 replies

OneYearLater · 23/06/2026 17:28

I’m 3 years away from 50 and have had a mental list of things I’ve wanted to change for so long but never really got round to doing anything about them. I’ve read/watched so much self-help stuff but never seem to actually put any of it into practice. I’ve had enough of just bumbling along and doing not much so going to spend the next year putting in as much effort as I can to make things happen.
I’m posting here for accountability but also happy for anyone who wants to join me. I plan to update weekly, if anyone is interested. Below is my list of where I’d like to be in a year:

  • Regular strength training, really noticed myself getting weaker as I get older
  • Joining a running club and having completed a half marathon
  • Fit in a pair of Levi’s that I bought over a decade ago
  • Decluttering my house and making it feel more like home. It’s not in a terrible state but we’ve lived here nearly 5 years and done some work but it really needs some extra love and care.
  • Start building more of a social circle. I WFH and haven’t put much effort into getting to know too many people where I live and have really felt that in the last few years.
  • Find a way of making a second income
  • I have 2 DDs and I’d like to find a hobby I can do with each of them
  • Improve my relationship with DH, we’re still happy but life has got in the way the last few years and I miss the connection we used to have
  • Stop wasting time on rubbish, mostly doom scrolling
  • Get refocused at work and get better at my job
  • Change my style, it would currently be described as middle aged frump!
  • Deep down I’ve never really liked myself and the way I look. I want to at least not hate what I see in the mirror and accept myself for who I am

That’s the list, I’ve started by joining a gym I just need to make myself go. Not sure what’s next but will see what I can improve on each week.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 24/06/2026 17:13

One of the biggest changes you can make to your life is to add the word 'yet' to your beliefs about yourself.

"I can't lift 100kg" tells your mind it's impossible and therefore a permanent state, so there's no point in trying to find a solution.

"I can't lift 100kg yet" tells your mind this is a temporary state and that it will change at some point, so it will actively look for ways to achieve the goal.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 24/06/2026 17:35

That sounds like a lovely list. I am 42 and could have written a few of those. I’d like to join you

the running I already do but I’d like to find a way to properly strength train not just to do a few press ups and squats. I’ve got the equipment, and actually the time, but just not the oompfh

the house is fine but I’d like up finish a few bits and start enjoying it. I’d also like to do the garden, and get a water feature of some description

I have a new job after being made redundant so I’d like to get confident at work again, by the time I’m 45/46 I’d like to be a manager (I was nearly there in my old role)

I’d like to finally crack my weight. I’m actually toying with glp1s and considering the options now that tablets are available. It’s pure vanity but I have spent my adult life dieting and I am not where I want to be

MaggieMagpie1 · 24/06/2026 17:57

I'm in too. I started this by myself last year, giving me 17 months before my 50th Birthday in May 2027. My initial goals were to lose 8 st, grow my hair from short to chin length, improve my fitness, change my wardrobe, and get some skin care/make up skills.

I'm almost exactly a year on and I've lost 4.5 stone. (Yes, mounjaro...no judgement please) my hair is growing nicely, I'm on week 7 of couch to 5k and have a charity 10k booked for the end of August. I discovered vinted (very late to the party) so my wardrobe is much improved. Not yet started on the skin care/make up yet. I also added in that I wanted to perform the play version of Shirley Valentine, which I'm working on.

I have to admit, I didn't think I'd done a massive amount until I saw that written down there...look at that!

Anyway, I'm looking for some support/ encouragement to carry on so this thread is ideal! Will keep checking in and maybe come up with some more specific goals for the next 10 and a half months.

BlicklingBabe · 24/06/2026 18:02

Inspired by @changeintheair 's post, AI has just churned out this ...

Here’s a practical 9-month plan that turns your ideas into a sequence you can actually follow, without trying to change everything at once.

Overall shape

The main goal is to build momentum in the first 3 months, make life easier after the move in months 4–6, and then use that stability to improve income and work life in months 7–9. The biggest risk here is trying to do too much before you have routines in place, so the plan below keeps each phase focused. You do not need motivation first; you need a structure that makes action easier.

Months 1–3: reset and simplify

Your only real priorities here are strength training consistency and decluttering for the move. Treat these months as a foundation phase, not a performance phase.

Strength training

  • Set a minimum target of 2 sessions a week, even if they are short.
  • Make the goal “show up” rather than “do a perfect workout.”
  • Pick fixed days and times now, such as Monday and Thursday mornings or evenings.
  • Keep each session simple: a warm-up, 4–6 exercises, done in 30–45 minutes.
  • Create a fallback rule: if it is too hot, too busy, or you are uninspired, do a 10-minute version instead of skipping entirely.

A useful rule is: never miss twice. One missed session is life; two starts becoming a pattern.

Decluttering

  • Work by category or room, not by mood.
  • Use three bins or boxes: keep, donate/sell, bin.
  • Set a weekly decluttering slot of 2–4 hours, plus one tiny admin task like booking a charity pickup or listing items for sale.
  • Decide in advance what “good enough” looks like, because downsizing can otherwise become endless.
  • Focus first on the highest-impact areas: paperwork, kitchen duplicates, spare rooms, storage, and anything that slows the move.

The aim is not to declutter your whole life immediately. It is to build a visible sense of progress so the move feels lighter, not heavier.

Months 4–6: settle and reconnect

This is the right time to build your social circle, join the new gym, and begin volunteering.

Social circle

  • Start with one repeatable social habit each week, not five.
  • Look for low-pressure ways to meet people: local classes, walking groups, community events, or a regular café visit.
  • Aim for familiarity first, friendship second.
  • Give yourself permission to be a beginner socially; it takes repeated contact before people become “your people.”

You do not need to force instant closeness. Consistency matters more than charisma.

New gym

  • Join a gym near the new house within the first month after moving.
  • Use it as both a strength-training anchor and a way to create routine in the new area.
  • Go at the same time each week if possible, so it becomes automatic.
  • If you can, choose a gym where people are likely to be regulars rather than anonymous passers-through.

This works best if you treat gym attendance as a habit that supports the rest of your life, not just fitness.

Volunteering

  • Choose something with a clear, limited commitment.
  • Start with the smallest reliable version, such as two half-days a month.
  • Think of it as a structured way to become part of the community, not as another performance task.
  • Give it at least 3 months before judging whether it “fits.”

Volunteering can be especially useful because it creates built-in contact with familiar faces without the social pressure of making conversation from scratch.

Months 7–9: income and work shift

By this stage, you should have more stability at home and a bit more social routine. Then it makes sense to add the income goal and start looking for a better job with less working from home.

Second income

  • Define the five chargeable hours as a business target, not a vague side hustle.
  • Decide exactly what kind of work you want to sell.
  • Set a modest weekly target, such as one hour of outreach and four hours of delivery once work starts coming in.
  • Keep the rate realistic and the service narrow.
  • Build a simple system for enquiries, invoicing, and follow-up so it does not become mentally heavy.

New job

  • Start searching before you feel desperate.
  • Be specific about what “much less WFH” means, for example 3–4 days in office or a role with regular in-person team contact.
  • Prioritise jobs that help you manage a diverse team well, because that seems to matter to you just as much as location.
  • Treat the search as a process rather than a judgment on your current job.
  • Update your CV, shortlist target organisations, and set a weekly application rhythm.

You are not just looking for a new job; you are redesigning the conditions under which you work best.

Weekly structure

A simple weekly rhythm may help all of this feel more manageable:

  • 2 strength sessions.
  • 1 decluttering block.
  • 1 admin block for move-related tasks.
  • 1 social or community action.
  • 1 hour of planning for the next week.

That is enough to move all the key pieces forward without burning you out.

What matters most

If you only remember one thing, make it this: the plan should be sequential, not simultaneous. First build energy and order, then build community, then build income and a better work setup. That order matches the life changes you are already making and should make the whole thing feel much more doable.

BlicklingBabe · 24/06/2026 18:02

Thanks for the thread OP - now today is much too hot, but time for thinking I guess.

MassOfInterstellarGas · 24/06/2026 18:14

I can’t find who said it on my phone now, but someone mentioned ‘Get better at my job’.

I did this due to my last job move (and it’s also why I made the move) - I feel so much more confident about my work now. My role is really specialised, and I’m finally spending most of my time doing the core aspects of my role. There are a couple of people in my team that I work really well with as well.

ItIsGreen · 24/06/2026 18:55

I'd love to join! I felt the need to make changes when I hit 40 and I made a list. It's been a few years since then... I've ticked some things off, tried and not yet succeeded with others and completely ignored a few!

Ticked off (mostly)
*Overhauled my diet - wanted to increase fibre to 30g a day which meant eating more variety and greater quantity of fruit/veg/nuts/seeds. Consequently eating less bread/pasta/rice. Still trying to make sure I eat enough protein. Have started having mackerel/salmon 3 times a week for omega 3

*Drink alcohol less often - I used to drink most days, and I used to get drunk infrequently, but more often than was good for me. I now drink maybe once every few weeks and haven't drunk to excess since last summer.

*Sort my and DHs finances. Save for our DC - We now have an emergency fund. I learnt how to invest, we contribute monthly. I'm on top of our pensions. My spreadsheet tells me (if nothing changes) we will have the option to retire around 61 and the DC will have a chunk for a house deposit.

*Rediscoved my sense of style - thanks to Vinted I like getting dressed!

*Boundaries and feeling safe asserting my opinion

In progress
*Loose 2.5 stone. I've lost a stone so far and I battle to keep it off. When I take my eye off the scales, the weight creeps up.

*Walk more. I am extremely sedentary. I wore a step counter for a few days and my base line is less than 1k steps a day. My current aim is to consistently walk for 10 minutes after each meal. (recently bought a walking pad) I would like to be a person who walks 10k steps a day.

*Declutter the house. Have done a lot! There's a longstanding decluttering thread on here that's helped motivate me. Still have a bit to do though

Basically ignored so far
*Strength train 3 times a week. I started this and stopped last year. Need to start again

*Consistently do pelvic floor exercises. Another thing I've started and stopped.

*Some sort of stretching routine

*Reduce my doomscrolling

*Grow my business. It pootles along ok. This year it's taken a bit of a hit. I need to work on it, rather than in it.

*Some sort of social hobby/volunteering. I WFH too and am concerned I'm becoming a bit isolated. Thing is I find most socialising very draining, and it provokes a lot of anxiety. I don't really want to do this, but have the sense it would be good for me. I think it could be something I enjoyed if I found the right activity and the right people.

bewilderedhedgehog · 24/06/2026 19:00

Hi everyone! My list is quite similar:

  1. get fitter
  2. run a 5k
  3. lose 7kg
  4. make my will
  5. sort my finances
  6. declutter the house
  7. spend time well - hobbies and friends
  8. spend time outside every day

progress today: outside in the garden and allotment, went to the gym, changed broadband provider.

thanks op for starting this one!

DidntLikeTheEnding · 24/06/2026 19:08

OneYearLater · 23/06/2026 22:17

Don’t think that’s too much. This was my reasoning for changing things in a year. It’s enough time to do more than one thing and also not do everything at once.

Sorry OP but there's no way you're going to get all of those vague but worthy goals on your list done in a year! That's just setting yourself up to fail. Pick three things and break them way down into the smallest possible tasks to meet that goal. Then if you do those things, pick another three. And so on.
Don't get me wrong, I'm mid 40s and need to change loads about my life but I'm exhausted just reading your list. I've written similar ones sooooo many times!

StripyRedSocks · 24/06/2026 19:16

I’m in - I’ll have a think. I will take a 6 month view to the end of the year. Be back with some SMART targets 🤣

Fairyhatsmatter · 24/06/2026 19:46

Oooh! Can I play. I'm 50 next year and I am stuck in a rut. I will have a proper think about my list but it will definitely include, healthy eating/ weight loss, exercise, hobby, wellbeing/ meditation, education.

I think I need to reclaim me, after i have finally managed to get my now adult Neuro diverse children to fly the nest, still with a lot of support, but I suddenly have time, but I don't know who I am and what I like anymore. So I think this will be my year of discovery.

newusername4321 · 25/06/2026 12:43

Ok, here are my goals for the year ahead. Some I’m already doing to some extent. As background info, I’m a knackered mum of a 7yo and a 5yo.

  • Further increase my fitness. I’m now going to gym twice a week lifting some dumbbells but need to do more. This time next year I want to see my body visibly more toned and some muscles.
  • Declutter. Our bedroom is an absolute chaos with piles of clothes regularly on the floor. I made my first clothing purchase of 2026 only this week as now actually need a denim jacket for the warmer season and a tidy looking t-shirt. Possibly need some shoes as well. But low buy, and finally getting my personal space in the house decluttered and tidy.
  • Me time. I must arrange more me time as I’m as said knackered and too often find myself short tempered towards the kids because of that.
  • Investments. I want to hit a specific amount invested during the year.
  • Marriage. I’m in a rut where me and DH are mainly coparents and friends and effectively sexless. We get a long and I care for him but I haven’t always been sure if I want to stay in this marriage for ever. I get it that a year is a short time to figure something like this out with small kids in the picture, so I’ll make the goal more manageable by saying I want to learn to talk to him. Right now we are not talking about the state of our relationship and that only makes things worse. I need to take steps to bring things more out in the open.
  • Friends. Consider who are the people who are really important and make effort to find time to see them more.
randos · 25/06/2026 12:52

Hi! I’d love to join too. My (first draft) list:

new job
more people around me and my child - effort to make family friends
fitter body (strength training + running)
small house upgrades
ducks in a row (I don’t always find dh reliable sadly)

StripyRedSocks · 25/06/2026 13:50

My list. I am starting with 2 (very) small ones:

  • self care - just get into a daily skincare & dental routine. Use up what I've current got - and use them properly and then reconsider.
  • finances - by end of year have halved my credit card debt. I have cut down on frivolous spend - but could do more.

We are half way to the c-word today (apparently) so that is a good marker.

NoNewsisGood · 25/06/2026 18:42

ItIsGreen · 24/06/2026 18:55

I'd love to join! I felt the need to make changes when I hit 40 and I made a list. It's been a few years since then... I've ticked some things off, tried and not yet succeeded with others and completely ignored a few!

Ticked off (mostly)
*Overhauled my diet - wanted to increase fibre to 30g a day which meant eating more variety and greater quantity of fruit/veg/nuts/seeds. Consequently eating less bread/pasta/rice. Still trying to make sure I eat enough protein. Have started having mackerel/salmon 3 times a week for omega 3

*Drink alcohol less often - I used to drink most days, and I used to get drunk infrequently, but more often than was good for me. I now drink maybe once every few weeks and haven't drunk to excess since last summer.

*Sort my and DHs finances. Save for our DC - We now have an emergency fund. I learnt how to invest, we contribute monthly. I'm on top of our pensions. My spreadsheet tells me (if nothing changes) we will have the option to retire around 61 and the DC will have a chunk for a house deposit.

*Rediscoved my sense of style - thanks to Vinted I like getting dressed!

*Boundaries and feeling safe asserting my opinion

In progress
*Loose 2.5 stone. I've lost a stone so far and I battle to keep it off. When I take my eye off the scales, the weight creeps up.

*Walk more. I am extremely sedentary. I wore a step counter for a few days and my base line is less than 1k steps a day. My current aim is to consistently walk for 10 minutes after each meal. (recently bought a walking pad) I would like to be a person who walks 10k steps a day.

*Declutter the house. Have done a lot! There's a longstanding decluttering thread on here that's helped motivate me. Still have a bit to do though

Basically ignored so far
*Strength train 3 times a week. I started this and stopped last year. Need to start again

*Consistently do pelvic floor exercises. Another thing I've started and stopped.

*Some sort of stretching routine

*Reduce my doomscrolling

*Grow my business. It pootles along ok. This year it's taken a bit of a hit. I need to work on it, rather than in it.

*Some sort of social hobby/volunteering. I WFH too and am concerned I'm becoming a bit isolated. Thing is I find most socialising very draining, and it provokes a lot of anxiety. I don't really want to do this, but have the sense it would be good for me. I think it could be something I enjoyed if I found the right activity and the right people.

Tell me about your walking pad! I keep looking at these, but we don't really have any room in the house. Sadly there isn't room to have it under my desk and use it at the same time. Do you keep it out all the time?

Zuve · 25/06/2026 18:47

Yes a great plan. I plan to write a journal with a fountain pen.
Get fitter and walking every day
Bike regularly
Sort the garden and declutter the house

Carriemac · 25/06/2026 18:52

I’m in ! I’ve been using the streaks app to remind me of habits _ daily like skin care and something targets like tow workouts a week , daily steps etc it’s really good

hotSunnnyWeather · 25/06/2026 18:56

Interesting read and actually helped me reflect that I’m further down this list than I thought. I’m early 50s, and have successfully since 50 lost 3st thanks to MJ, got back my running 3x 5k, even got a parkrun PB thanks to weight loss. Trying to rebuild more of a connection with DH we prioritise a dog walk together 3-4x a week now we can leave our youngest send teen home alone and have a coffee & breakfast out together. I’m working on the weights, I do a Caroline Givan 20min full body workout twice a week, my biggest win from this has been the ability to do upto 20x full body pushups and a 2.5min plank. So it is possible to change things up. I’ve said no to two promotions at work as I prefer my work life balance as it is over the extra stress & money. Hope you can find ways to do the things you want to as it is possible but it’s never linear and tomorrow is another day if today didn’t go to plan. I’m also cold water swimming that’s helped me with crappy menopause stuff.

ItIsGreen · 25/06/2026 19:07

NoNewsisGood · 25/06/2026 18:42

Tell me about your walking pad! I keep looking at these, but we don't really have any room in the house. Sadly there isn't room to have it under my desk and use it at the same time. Do you keep it out all the time?

Yes I keep it out all the time, mostly because I use it 3 times a day right now! Its low enough to slide under a piece of furniture like the sofa or the bed if I wanted to put it away. (doesn't have a handle to worry about folding away either) I got it second hand from marketplace, didn't see the point buying new if I wasn't sure I'd actually use it, and unlike an excercise bike, it makes a rubbish clothes horse!

Fairyhatsmatter · 25/06/2026 20:08

ItIsGreen · 25/06/2026 19:07

Yes I keep it out all the time, mostly because I use it 3 times a day right now! Its low enough to slide under a piece of furniture like the sofa or the bed if I wanted to put it away. (doesn't have a handle to worry about folding away either) I got it second hand from marketplace, didn't see the point buying new if I wasn't sure I'd actually use it, and unlike an excercise bike, it makes a rubbish clothes horse!

I've just ordered a walking pad from Amazon. I have chronic fatigue and sometimes I just haven't got the energy to fight the wind and rain, but I reckon I might use it if I'm not battling the weather. It should arrive sometime next week.

ItIsGreen · 25/06/2026 22:10

Fairyhatsmatter · 25/06/2026 20:08

I've just ordered a walking pad from Amazon. I have chronic fatigue and sometimes I just haven't got the energy to fight the wind and rain, but I reckon I might use it if I'm not battling the weather. It should arrive sometime next week.

Health issues are a barrier to me getting outside regularly too at the moment. This certainly makes it easier to get some steps in. I hope you get on with yours when it arrives

UnaOfStormhold · 26/06/2026 09:25

I second the Happiness Project as a fun book - though I did worry that the relationship chapter seemed to leave her trying to take delight in being a total doormat rather than finding a positive way to get her partner to contribute more.

On exercise specifically, I recently came across Diana Hill and Katy Bowman's book "I know I should exercise but... 44 reasons we don't move and how to get over them" which I definitely plan to draw on with my coaching/PT clients.

Yearningallovertheplace · 26/06/2026 09:50

Mclaren10 · 23/06/2026 21:04

I do 2 of those in 1 actually (occasionally), volunteering locally with a dd. So we get to spend time together doing something we enjoy and getting to know others in the neighbourhood.

@Mclaren10 can you tell us more about the volunteering with DD? Is it (the specific volunteering activity) something you already did before kids? If not how did you choose it and was your DD involved in the choice? What kind of age is she? I used to volunteer a lot as a kid/teenager/young adult and would love to get my DC involved. My DD is 6 so could be approaching the right age

MassOfInterstellarGas · 26/06/2026 16:25

I’m using dumbbells regularly now in an effort to support indoor climbing / bouldering. Can
anyone link to a useful resource about what I should actually be doing? I’ve got 0.5, 1, 2, and 3kg weights.

At the moment, I do 3 different things:
Bicep curls, I think this is what they’re called
? holding my arms at right angles to my
body and moving the dumbbells in circles
? raising the dumbbells from the lowest point until my arms are at right angles to my body

I’m also doing sit-ups.

hotSunnnyWeather · 26/06/2026 17:53

@MassOfInterstellarGas have a look at Caroline Givan on YouTube she has some 10min and 20min routines with dumbbells the older ones from 2021-22 are simpler.