A year to change my life, anyone want to join me?

[OneYearLater]

I’m 3 years away from 50 and have had a mental list of things I’ve wanted to change for so long but never really got round to doing anything about them. I’ve read/watched so much self-help stuff but never seem to actually put any of it into practice. I’ve had enough of just bumbling along and doing not much so going to spend the next year putting in as much effort as I can to make things happen.
I’m posting here for accountability but also happy for anyone who wants to join me. I plan to update weekly, if anyone is interested. Below is my list of where I’d like to be in a year:

• Regular strength training, really noticed myself getting weaker as I get older
• Joining a running club and having completed a half marathon
• Fit in a pair of Levi’s that I bought over a decade ago
• Decluttering my house and making it feel more like home. It’s not in a terrible state but we’ve lived here nearly 5 years and done some work but it really needs some extra love and care.
• Start building more of a social circle. I WFH and haven’t put much effort into getting to know too many people where I live and have really felt that in the last few years.
• Find a way of making a second income
• I have 2 DDs and I’d like to find a hobby I can do with each of them
• Improve my relationship with DH, we’re still happy but life has got in the way the last few years and I miss the connection we used to have
• Stop wasting time on rubbish, mostly doom scrolling
• Get refocused at work and get better at my job
• Change my style, it would currently be described as middle aged frump!
• Deep down I’ve never really liked myself and the way I look. I want to at least not hate what I see in the mirror and accept myself for who I am

That’s the list, I’ve started by joining a gym I just need to make myself go. Not sure what’s next but will see what I can improve on each week.

I would love to see stories of people who changed their lives without changing cities, jobs or marital status. I don't see how you can make big changes without altering the foundations over which said life was built.

I'm aware that's not what OP wants to hear.

exactly what I've been contemplating today. I now need daily motivation.

This sounds like a great thread at this very moment in time! Serendipity, serendipitous?

my age target has been and gone - I won't achieve anything before a significant age - I'm 60 in September so too late for a timely target.

i'm recovering from back surgery I had last week and I've spent so much time thinking about how I should be able to do so many more things (without the risk of my discs bulging out, couple of days in bed immobile and 7-12 wks of pain).

I have the implanted battery switched on next week which is attached to wires, which are close to lower back nerves, which will hopefully help to strengthen whatever is left of the atrophied muscles in my lower back. I need to rebuild strength in my back to support my spine - been told that could take a while.

I have to have 30 min of this therapy twice a day for the foreseeable.

I want to start strength training.

I am just learning to crochet and want to become accomplished.

i would like to be able to stand up without feeling the need to 'take the weight off' my lower back.

i want to be able to walk/hike for at least half a day without fear of injury/being bedridden the next day.

I would like to have the stamina to be able to spend a day shopping with my daughters/friends without fear of the expression of pain being visible on my face.

I want to enjoy my garden and keep it spick and span all year round. (Gardening and housework are the most frequent things that will aggravate back pain.)

I want an organised craft room.

I want to enjoy my grandchildren and run
around with them, sit on the floor playing, take them on holiday and spend long days out without a second thought about the impact of potential injury/pain.

I'm hoping for a new lease of life and don't want to waste any more of it.

maybe it will lead to something spectacular ...

I've spent far too long daydreaming this past week - currently sweltering crocheting a rather untidy blanket but I'm aiming high whilst immobilised

i was always told to make targets achievable so i'll aim for 61st birthday, September 2027 when i'll be able to look back on this first thread.

Yes I am IN xxxx just about to go to sleep but wanted to comment. Will check in properly tomorrow xxx

I'm back with my list, inspired by your own OP.

Months 1 -3.

• Regular strength training - I must start this, I have literally got everything I need at home and fitness subscriptions, but no motivation. This week was going to be the week, but it is too hot, last week was too busy, week before - couldn't be bothered. I could write a book of excuses.
• Decluttering my house - I'm currently doing this ahead of moving house and it is never ending (downsize), but I am soldiering on and I am looking forward to getting to the other side.

Months 4-6

• 'Start building more of a social circle. I WFH and haven’t put much effort into getting to know too many people where I live and have really felt that in the last few years'. Thanks for writing this down - this is me OP, absolutely 100% me, I am planning on waiting until I move house though so this will be an Autumn endeavour.
• Join a new gym where I am moving to in the hope that this will help with strength training and social circle.
• Volunteer - thinking something along the lines of a community library - two half days a month is all they seem to want which is doable with a full time job.

Months 7-9

• Second income - I would like to work five chargeable hours a week, I've worked out that after tax and at a really modest rate that doing this will halve the length of my mortgage term if I do it for five years.
• Get a new job .... with much less wfh as I find it isolating and generally quite difficult to manage a diverse team well remotely.

Some great ideas here, really excited to get started properly. I don’t have a specific plan yet, but it has been something I’ve been considering for a while and just wanted to get it down somewhere. I’ll will write a more specific plan this weekend.

Really happy there are quite a few of us. It’ll keep us all accountable.

If you put this list into Claude, it will make you a step by step plan to achieve it or even a weekly/daily routine for the next 12 months to get from the present state to the desired state!

This is a brilliant idea and I love your list.
The hobbies with DC idea is good.
I got on top of things a lot a few years ago (thanks to HRT) but here is my list for the next year:

Find a hobby to with DS14 (inspired by you but not that easy to find- although he does karate and archery with his dad)

Give a work presentation at a national conference (already planned with colleagues)

Find one more social hobby to do (friend and I want to start a book group with interesting, thoughtful women but don’t know where to find them)

Lots of house sorting- a ceiling needs repairing, a new bathroom, new range cooker.

Plan our big family trip to Japan next summer.

Get better at keeping up with friends, making friends and socialising.

Get much better at Padel tennis (my main effort so far has been buying a tennis skirt!)

Agree about breaking up the tasks. Make them specific, achievable and give yourself deadlines. So if your outcome is that your house will feel more homely, make your plan ‘on Sunday spend time between 9 and 11 am tidying the under stair cupboard to free up storage space’ or whatever. I’m saying this like I’ve done it but I haven’t, I need to. Mine are:

stick to a skin care regime
implement and stick to a strength training workout
start to overpay the mortgage

I have a similar list OP, thanks for this thread.
Ive been really good at making changes to routines at work but I really struggle at home when it’s just for me.

i’m rubbish at sticking to things at home after the initial burst of excitement (?adhd) and need a strong incentive (or a disincentive not to do the old thing) if it’s to have a hope of changes I make sticking.

I will try to spin this as ‘improving’ my life rather than ‘changing’ it to make it sound less hard to do. And also remind myself that it helps others in my family because that’s an incentive for me too. Vanity or anxiety/fear might spur me on a bit sometimes.
But lasting change has always been very difficult for me, I’m amazed what I can and have put up with health wise, financially and in relationships that’s negative, all because I find making changes difficult. I find it so hard to just keep going.

Sort out finances
sort out pensions
Find a form of exercise that I can manage and enjoy
Daily flossing, wearing teeth grinding guard at night
changing HRT patches more frequently and consistently
declutter house
Save and plan to have an annual holiday

clear out own clothes
clear out the kids clothes
get practical help for health issues
Set up an area at home that I can use for computer work
attack the clothes moths
finding a new hobby with DC is a lovely one.
call relatives more

I'd love to join and do 12 things/changes before hitting 40 in 12 months
I've already been thinking of making some changes as I'm in a very boring job so needed something to keep me going

1. Piano lessons, I've just starting learning after never really playing any instrument and hating music at school
2. Couch to 5km - I've started it countless time and actually finished it once and got to 10km and have up. But at least I know it's possible. I'm on maybe week 4 atm
3. Debt free by 40. This is possible but I have a fair bit of debt, maybe £10k although of some of it borrowing off family.

I'll have a think about the others

I can recommend The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin for this. You tackle a different area of your life each month for a year. She writes well, too.

Place marking. Looks like I'm the oldie on this list - so I'm aiming for 65 next year. Be back later with my list (which will be quite similar to others I think). I'd like to get a few things sorted before retirement.

I’d like to join please!

I’ve made some big changes over the last few years, and some more are on their way.

It would be great to have a supportive / positive thread to check into now and then.

I'm the same - already I've made some big changes over the last 5 years really. Hasn't been plain sailing, but nothing worth doing is. A lot of 2 steps forward, 1 step back, but I'm trying.
Feeling very positive I can achieve my goals in a year 💪

I've had another think on my drive to work

1. Take my daughter away by myself. I've taken her to visit family a lot but I want to be brave and go away for a weekend without my partner, even if it's just overnight.
2. Go away by myself for a weekend. I really enjoy being by myself but haven't been away by myself for years. I'm thinking somewhere in England just for 2 nights. Maybe Hay where the literary festival is
3. Monthly date nights with partner. This is hard as we have a 2 year old and tbh are more like housemates atm living fairly separate lives. We have access to babysitters but not very often so I might suggest both taking an afternoon off work and going for a walk whilst our daughter is at nursey.
4. Drink more water
5. Sort out something about my appearance - 2 contenders ATM are my skin or whitening my teeth. The teeth would be easy to sort but just cost money. I don't really know where to start sorting my skin out...private dermatologist maybe
6. Learn Spanish. I know a little so not sure where to start with this. Don't think just Duolingo would do the trick

10. Improve things at work. There are 2 projects I could take on which I have the capacity for and would make work less boring but I'd have to actually put some effort in. I need this job for a couple of years at least so I need tos top just coasting and try and improve things 11. Sort my office out and keep on top of it. This means a declutter as it's currently acting as a storage room. And getting some good storage solutions 12. ???

Interesting view point, but I do think that you can make your life more interesting, fulfilling and well rounded without changing the major pillars of your current life.

Me! I want to join! Your lists are all super amibitious, but I also know that if you put your mind to it it can be done -- or at least, start moving in the right direction and gather some momentum.

By end of June 2027 I want to:

1. Lose weight (2 stone?). It's HRT-related weight gain, but the positives of HRT are so good that I'm just going to accept that it means a change to the way I eat / move BUT I want to be slimmer again
2. Sort out our pensions and specifically my pension
3. Run 5k every day (I already run short distances several times a week but fall off the wagon and feel so much better when I am doing it regularly)
4. Turn my phone off completely in the evening when I finish work (and read / spend more time with kids and H etc etc -- but think the phone comes first. have literally only just this second worked out that turning it off is what I should do)

I was reading something the other day from a PT on how to get fitter and slimmer (and I would link to her but can't remember who it was): and she said the keys are: 1. Behave like the person you want to become -- just do the behaviours already; 2. Get off your phone; 3. Do something. Anything.

It really resonated with me.

Agree.
And I don't wish to change where I live, my marital status or my job. I love them all.
We're talking about setting small goals I think - achievable, realistic.

You might as well start today with Duolingo while you find lessons

Good point! I'm already benefiting from this thread!

Agree, you can always improve life without changing the basis of it. But OP said "change life". If the goal is incremental improvement, it's much simpler.

I'm all in. I can't remember where I heard it, but I remember something about the effect a 1% change in performance has. It was called "The Aggregate of Marginal Gains". Identify the areas you want to improve in: work, social life, clutter-free living etc. and if take action by improving each of these each day by 1%, after one year you will improve these areas by 37 times.

Atomic Habits is a great read. The important thing is identifying what you want to improve, getting really clear about it, and the every single day just doing something, anything, to improve it.

Also, incoming woo-alert. I'm a huge advocate of paying attention to the labels you saddle yourself with. So, anything following "I am ..." is in effect a declaration to the Universe that you are whatever you are declaring yourself to be at that moment. So "I'm far too hot and sweaty" is actually bringing me more of that thing. I'm very careful how I speak about myself and treating myself with kindness. And just acting as if. For instance, today I'm wearing my best sundress just because, and I've had three separate lovely comments on it. The upgraded ideal version of LadyLucksaLot is always well dressed, presentable and makes an effort with herself.

I'm happy to cheer you and others on 🌞

My personal goals for the next 12 months will about be small changes. A foot injury has interfered with my bigger plans for 2026, so focussing on what I can do will help.

Change your life or just improve your life - both work. It’s more about giving yourself enough time and accountability to make the actual changes. If I achieve what I want then it would be life changing for me.
I have also moved areas a few times and changed careers but none of that makes a difference if you don’t change your unhelpful behaviour or habits.

Some really helpful ideas on here, as soon as I have time I’ll be making notes 😀