A year to change my life, anyone want to join me?

[OneYearLater]

I’m 3 years away from 50 and have had a mental list of things I’ve wanted to change for so long but never really got round to doing anything about them. I’ve read/watched so much self-help stuff but never seem to actually put any of it into practice. I’ve had enough of just bumbling along and doing not much so going to spend the next year putting in as much effort as I can to make things happen.
I’m posting here for accountability but also happy for anyone who wants to join me. I plan to update weekly, if anyone is interested. Below is my list of where I’d like to be in a year:

• Regular strength training, really noticed myself getting weaker as I get older
• Joining a running club and having completed a half marathon
• Fit in a pair of Levi’s that I bought over a decade ago
• Decluttering my house and making it feel more like home. It’s not in a terrible state but we’ve lived here nearly 5 years and done some work but it really needs some extra love and care.
• Start building more of a social circle. I WFH and haven’t put much effort into getting to know too many people where I live and have really felt that in the last few years.
• Find a way of making a second income
• I have 2 DDs and I’d like to find a hobby I can do with each of them
• Improve my relationship with DH, we’re still happy but life has got in the way the last few years and I miss the connection we used to have
• Stop wasting time on rubbish, mostly doom scrolling
• Get refocused at work and get better at my job
• Change my style, it would currently be described as middle aged frump!
• Deep down I’ve never really liked myself and the way I look. I want to at least not hate what I see in the mirror and accept myself for who I am

That’s the list, I’ve started by joining a gym I just need to make myself go. Not sure what’s next but will see what I can improve on each week.

Hi all, great to see so many wanting to join this. Hope we can all make some meaningful differences in the next year.

My screen time yesterday was really low but I find it far easier at the weekend than when I’m working. It’s too easy to just pick up my phone when I’ve got something I don’t want to do at work! I’ve set downtime on my phone for the week to try and break the habit!

I’m planning on going to the gym Wednesday & Saturday next week and getting out for a walk before work the other days.

It so difficult not to try and do everything all at once but I think that’s where I’ve failed before. So small steps it is.

@OneYearLater I find I need my phone physically out of the room when I’m working, I put it upstairs now so I cannot reach for it. WFH is worse for this as no one can see you on it, I barely look at it in the office.

I’m interested in why people want to step up the career? Genuinely interested. Is it to increase income I get it if needed, but for me the stress v reward didn’t stack up. I appreciate I’m in a comfortable job but I’ve turned down twice since 50 the opportunity to move up into higher management. It’s hard from a now have younger less experienced managers but honestly the stress from managing so so many HR issues on top of work demands wasn’t worth it. Balance was more important so i exercise more, make better food choices and less stressed so have the energy to plan more fun stuff.

My current job doesn't have any stress or hard work involved. I'm mainly.workimg solo which I don't really enjoy. I like working hard and doing a good job and being respected and I just don't have that here.
Plus I'm hitting 40 and feel like I've not come close to achieving my potential.
And not going to lie - I'd like to earn more money. I am fine paying for the day to day but have no savings, £200k mortgage on a £250k house, approx £10k of debt and an absolute pittance of a pension.

I decided that looking at whole year and where I wanted to be was just too overwhelming so I've decided to adjust every month as I go and as my health permits. I've never been able to do a push up so that's what I really want to do by the end of the year 10 proper push ups. Hopefully I'll be able to do more but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I also want to spend time pampering myself a little because I just don't, I've spent the last 25 years caring for other people.

July 2026

Diet - Protein, veg/fruit, carbs [every day]
Fitness- walking pad, build up to 5k steps. 3 min bursts of high energy exercise.10 Press ups on the work top,10 squats on to the footstool. Plank for 30 sec. [3x per week]. On the days I can manage it.
Well being-Slim pod meditation, write down 3 wins [everyday]
Read a proper book, instead of scrolling [once per day].
See friend and do shared hobby [fortnightly]
Take time to do something fun [once per week]
Try and do an outside activity once per month.
Beauty - Skin care [ everyday]
Nails, [once per week]
Shave and lotion legs, [ twice per week]

I've been lurking on this thread this week, and would like to join in too. I'm a little over two years away from 50, and there does feel something significant to me that the upcoming birthday is 48 - definitely late 40s now! There's been a lot of reflection over the last couple of years since a significant bereavement, and now DC at the midpoint of teens, starting a new potential career: it does feel like the right time to make some much-wanted changes.

I'm happy day to day, but not fulfilled. I also have regrets which can be attributed to being too hesitant, and not being more motivated, earlier in life. There's also this thought about making improvements now that will stand me in good stead for the next chunk of life, over losing a couple of stone and gaining strength, improving my financial situation (which is not good at all), broadening connections, re-entering dating post-divorce, and really making a go of boosting my work. While in one sense it is never 'too late' to do these things, there's also 'sooner rather than later'.

So, the things I am looking to work on are reflected by others all over this thread! Looking forward to feeling accountable as we all progress together.

hope you find a job you like @12things im 10yrs+ older so I do get it and I had more time & energy to push my job a few years back. I had assumed I would go
further but my youngest teenager couldn’t cope with secondary school & then menopause slam dunked me with health issues so I just decided on balance that pushing my career harder wasn’t beneficial.

@Fairyhatsmatter i noticed real improvements in strength after 6 weeks of twice a week weights and body weight exercises. Nothing big but I went from 1-2 push ups to 10, then 20 on a good day. Still can’t do even a hanging pre-pull up, so don’t think I’ll get there with pull ups though any time soon.

Hi everyone, just here for a quick mid-week check in. How is everyone doing? Is anyone starting today?
I went to the gym again yesterday and feeling it a bit today. I’ve been out for a walk every morning, so much better than staring at my phone for the first hour of my day.
The screen time restriction I’ve added seems to be enough to stop be picking up my phone and randomly scrolling.
I really struggled to focus at work yesterday but was a bit better today.
So overall, happy with the way things are going, although it’s still quite early days.

Honestly my work has been lacking in motivation as usual. And so have my evenings.
But I had another piano lesson today, I love it! Would definitely recommend it if anyone has ever fancied it
I've been thinking about a weekend in Edinburgh by myself, just need to figure out a time to fit it in around my daughter

I like the idea of your morning walks. I might give it a go

I used to play piano as a child but gave it up. I have thought about playing again, maybe something for year 2!
Trip away sounds lovely.

I’d definitely recommend it, especially this time of year. It’s something I have to do before anything else though or the day gets in the way.

How's everyone's weekend gone?

• I've had a good week of piano practise ✓
• Got paid so paid off some debt ✓
• Had a couple of good days of work and tried out the pomodoro (?) productivity method ✓
• And I've found something for July that I've never done before that I want to so got that booked in - floatation pod ✓

That sounds like a good week. I think finding something you enjoy makes the less interesting stuff easier to do.

Let us know how the floatation pod goes. From what I’ve read it sounds amazing but I’m not sure what being completely alone with nothing but my own thoughts would be like!

This week I’ve been to the gym once and walked every day.
We’re out for the day tomorrow and then away for the week so I’ll be spending today cleaning, washing and packing. I’m planning on a gym session before we go out tomorrow as I’ll be missing a week.
I’ve massively reduced my screen time on my phone this week. It’s starting to have an impact. I definitely feel less mentally tired and work felt a bit easier.
I’m going to start running again in a couple of weeks, it’ll probably take a month or so before I’m able to join a run club again.
Decluttering will also begin when we’re back home, even if it’s only an hour a week. I’m also going to make over the front of the house. We have space for some plants which will brighten it up a bit. It’s just a bit plain and boring at the moment.

I've made good progress this week, with wellbeing and I spent a lovely day yesterday doing my hobby with my friend. My walking pad hasn't arrived yet so exercise has been nearly non existent, but diet has been fairly consistent.

It sounds like everybody is making some progress. Which is better than no progress. That's how I'm trying to reframe my attitude towards things, instead of seeing not completing everything as a big fat fail, I'm trying the something is better than nothing approach.

this is such a great idea

I'm in! I'm 50 this year and love a goal. Mine are

• lose about 8lb. I successfully lost 2 stone last year but some has crept back on.
• Career change - I am retraining at the moment after being very unhappy so one of my goals is to get a job in my new field early 2027. This one is absolutely massive for me and I probably need to pause for a second and think that if this is the one big thing I achieve this year, I should be proud .
• Social circle - actually quite happy with this but find it expensive. Probably need to find ways of socialising at home more often, lower cost.
• Hobbies to stop the doom scroll- definitely.
• Style. I am mid way through changing this. Sold loads on vinted and definitely moved to a more relaxed, bohemian style. Think I care less what people think?

That was my thinking about making changes over a year. Small changes add up, as long as you’re doing something the it’s progress.

Keep up the good work, folks. Baby steps is the way forward.
My month of July is going to be different for the other months, as I'm presently on holiday for 2 weeks.
However, I have made a few small changes. I've decreased my alcohol intake ( drank lots of water), I've walked 15k steps most days. I got paid and put the amount I wanted to save, away. Lots of temptation here - perfume, clothes, but I don't actually NEED anything!
So, overall feeling positive.
The last 2 weeks of July there will be no stopping me 🤣

This time of year is perfect for cheaper socialising
If you're meeting someone one on one then a stroll with a home brought coffee
Or bottle of wine in the garden
I met a friend for an ice-cream and a walk round the city centre recently, it was a fancy ice-cream so about £6 each but still cheaper than dinner!

Apologies for all the posts but it kind of keeps me accountable

• been for a jog tonight, week 4 run 1 of couch to 5k. I've not been for a few weeks so was quite surprised I managed it! If I average 2 runs a week I'll have finished the course by start of September!
• also practised the piano every day and really enjoyed it
• and I've emailed a language school about Spanish lessons, not heard back yet but fingers crossed!

Hope everyone else is doing well

Great thread, OP, thank you.

My list would include:
~starting swimming again
~starting to lift some light weights
~finding a yoga/stretch class to ease my aching joints
~weight loss of 2+ stones
~to be in a more secure place with our finances
~to not be wasting money on (DH) buying lunch at work every day
~to have paid off a credit card
~to be putting more money in the investment pot
~to have built on the emergency fund & sinking funds
~to have completed another level of a counselling course
~to have lots of lovely (perennial) plants in our garden so it looks full, colourful and bursting with flowers
~to have started getting the house redecorated, room by room

@12things don't worry about the frequency of your posts. If it helps keep you accountable, then brilliant. Also, great to read the targets of others so keep on keeping on 💪
@Everhopeful777 I love your list. Will you tackle some monthly or daily or ongoing?
With your exercise goals, will you go weekly?
( I'm not being super nosey, just wondering how you're breaking it all down ❤️).

Back. So I started with two tiny things

1. Self-care. I am into a proper routine now and to build on it I have a consultation on Friday for my Denis Healey style brows. (aging myself there!). I need a hair cut. Overall goal: when I look in the mirror to be happy
2. Finances - I am so used to not spending money on myself that when I do have the funds to spare, am not going mad so win win; BUT long hair.... Must remember this time next year I will be mortgage and debt free.
3. New build: doom scrolling has got to stop. So: I am mainly leaving phone in other room while working, am giving myself an hour in the morning and then trying to occupy my time doing other things in the evening with varying success.
4. New build: eventually I want to do another degree; but I need to re-learn how to study properly first. So: 15 minutes a day language study will do and will help with the doom scrolling with the bonus of freshening up my language skills.