Have you ever been upset by something said to you on MN?

[grizy]

I’m a frequent name changer but I’ve been around for a few years. I deleted an earlier account after I somehow provoked a pile-on when I started a tongue-in-cheek thread about ketchup on roast dinners (of all things). Some of the comments were beyond brutal - I could laugh some of them off but others were really below the belt. Over ketchup!! 😂

In the end, I decided I was too thin skinned for the rigours of MN and I took a break until I decided to dip my toe back in MN waters again. I’m much more cautious now and tend to not start threads but I’m curious as to whether anyone else has felt upset at comments a stranger has posted at them online? Are you able to shrug it off or do you take it a bit more personally? This isn’t meant to be ‘oh, isn’t MN a horrible place’ discussion (I don’t think it is) but just me wondering if others get upset if you’re on the receiving end of spiky comments or if you’re able to just quickly dismiss it?

Some people get a kick out of it. Anonymous forums make it so easy for people to be nasty as there are no real life consequences.

Nope don’t GAF.

Wouldn’t give it a second thought, couldn’t care less of other people’s negativity, either online or in real life water off a ducks back. As long as my nearest and dearest know the real me and have good opinions I couldn’t care less about anyone else.

Oh this is SO accurate!

Totally agreed! I reported a very harsh post yesterday and it is still up. I don’t understand why MN allows sweeping comments about certain minority groups or disabled people - this post said that trans people invariablg convince themselves that they have ADHD, ME/CFS etc when they don’t. I’m sure if a poster said black people pretend they have ADHD, it would be removed immediately (and rightly so) but I don’t see the difference - I think both should be removed.

No because people on here don't actually know me, and their opinion holds no value for me. I think I've used this before on here but it's the saying those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.

But it's nonsense, they don't know you or your children to feel sorry for them. It's not like someone in your life saying it. I don't know why you'd get upset at nonsense spouted by strangers online, a lot of whom won't even be being fully honest about themselves.

Hell yes. Been here 20 years. My early years were great when it was a lot of fun and I could josh around with the regulars and all was well. But it’s got much more vicious so I name change regularly and if I do get upset I simply don’t go back to that thread.

No, not at all. I’ll participate in a thread for as long as it’s entertaining or informative but have no problem switching to another thread once it starts getting tiresome.

I’ve got two pieces of advice:

There are lots of people who are pulling your leg.

Ignoring tiresome posts is far more effective than answering/arguing.

The thing that confuses me is: I assume most posters are grown up women, yet lots of them enjoy being rude, nasty and argumentative. I never meet anyone in real life who would say the things people do on here. I often picture posters as mums on the school run and it baffles me that grown women act like this. I work with people from all walks of life and there are not many who would speak to another person that way, yet for some reason these grownups get behind a keyboard and turn into something they would probably be shocked to meet in real life.

I don’t get upset because I don’t really care what they think. I also know non of them would dare speak like that to my face or anyone else’s face in real life.

I do think some posters need to take a step back and remember that they are talking to real life people. Probably other women their age. They should try to picture posters as women they pass in the street, I think that really brings to life what they are doing. I think that many forget and get some sort of brain fog as if what they say in here is not really real or counted.

Oh yes..... I was once told that I am obviously old (wrong) so I should just "fu**ing die and make everyone happy" ... I'd commented on a post about Boomers. This charming person had apparently been banned from MN on several occasions for vile comments. But it was said with such vitriol it was quite upsetting. I hadn't even been particularly controversial... Just expressed an opinion.

Yes, I got my arse handed to me when I lost my favourite cardigan at the airport 😂

Yes on occasion.

If I see someone has mentioned me on a thread I tend not to go to see what they've said unless it's a light-hearted one where they are unlikely to have said anything horrible.

But I am pretty good at rationalising things and I do call people out and ask them if they'd dare to say it to me in person.

Yes when people told me to say my children were dead.

Although someone started a thread in Education about her daughter not getting a place with her friends at a graduation ceremony and some of the comments were very AIBU-esque. It happens quite a lot.

I am not saying it's ok to be mean if it's AIBU but at least check where the post is before you post sanctimonous arsey things.

Yes!!! A number of times. Strangers are so mean and hurtful sometimes. I’d never do that to anyone.

Same. Ive had people say some really nasty and unpleasant shit to me for no apparent reason at all. I am always polite and never rude to others, even if I disagree with their opinions.

When someone is particularly rude, I often search their name and it becomes very obvious that they're a twat from their previous posts. People always reveal themselves so I dont take any of it to heart. In fact, sometimes it makes me chuckle. I cant imagine living with such hatred and bitterness in my heart, it must be truly awful.

Yes back when I had my pfb in 2012. I was a anxious first time mum who unknown to me at the time had bad post natal depression. I was told to get a grip which doesn't seem big now but at the time I actually felt like it tipped me over the edge.

Back in the olden days (pre-moldies) I took things a little personally at times, but I've since realised that the objectional folk are basically semi-professional wind-up merchants. My tactic rather than leaving is to hide any bothersome threads and not return, with a name change here and there if I'm especially bothered.

No 😂 ive been called all sorts of (what the poster thinks) are really nasty things, but they just do it to get a reaction. In real life they're probably very lonely so trying to poke people on MN is the only time they get to interact with people. Any attention better than none type thing.

Oh crikey, yes! Too many times. I'm really too thin-skinned and sensitive for Mumsnet. I've name changed and fully left several times, but eventually return, as I still feel the good outweighs the bad.

I feel some people on Mumsnet don't understand the overwhelming nature of crippling mental illness, and some of the hurtful comments have been along those lines. I was once told I was wallowing in self pity when I was in the midst of a pretty serious mental health crisis. I made a mistake posting on an anonymous forum at the time. But, looking back, I still feel shocked someone could say such a thing to someone on the brink.

I was piled on years ago for supposedly being a CF. I was a few weeks post partum and someone has mentioned something they made for newborns. I asked for details, wondering if I might need it. That's when I got piled on and told I should have just bought it from the poster. Despite not know exactly what I would have been buying and being pretty sure I lived nowhere near them so postage would have been high.

Annoyingly it was a thread that got resurrected a few times over the years so was thrown in my face more than once.

I was accused of lying about ICU nurses braiding my daughter’s hate in her last days. Also that I was making up her illness and subsequent death. Muncheusen apparently. It made the worst time in my life worse, if that is possible. It still makes me a bit sick.

I was called grabby, entitled, an attention seeker and probably a few other things, all because I'd asked for advice on how to get over lifelong favouritism against me by my mother and her sister, and for by golden child brother.

I have since n/c, and at the time said I had changed some details so it wouldn't be outing.

Pp went back and looked at previous posts of mine and discovered ages "didn't add up" 🙄

I did have some lovely dms of support and support on the thread so I knew it wasn't me!

Pretty much.

Am here to pass time and be entertained. I don’t take anything to heart. Squabble, chat, debate or just read and move on to the next thread that looks interesting.