What do 17 year olds expect at a party? Just to get a broad idea.

[queenceleste]

Dd is 18 this year and we are thinking of her having a party at home for her 18th.
She has been to very few so isn’t sure what is generally a good offer if you like.
My sister had a daughter who had some house wrecking parties son am a bit nervous.
I have a few questions

can parents be present but out of the way?

how do you manage alcohol with a mixed age group of year 12s?

is pizza, mocktails, snacks, cake etc enough?

I was a teenager so long ago that I have no idea how it’s done but I would love to have some pointers to encourage me.
We don’t have a very huge grand house though. My insecurity makes me hesitate in case her mates are snooty but maybe they’ll just be happy to have a party. But I just don’t know how other people manage it with confidence.

They have fake ID, they buy it online

Nor will I- never. Amazed how some are so blasé about the risk of the house being trashed- can only assume they’re wealthy enough to put it all right!

😂😂😂

I think 15 is a risky age though compared to sixth form.
I had a disastrous party myself at that age - house got trashed, loads of people I didn’t know turned up
but the difference was i had told people at school and it spread like wildfire, my parents were away for the weekend and 15 year olds dont usually have as much of a social life as sixth formers so go a bit wild if given a chance.

I think if parents are there and there’s a set number of people invited it can’t be too out of control.
i was worried about drugs at my daughters party and she looked at me genuinely baffled - maybe she’s just a bit steadier than I was?!!

Exactly this 🤣 - it’s a right of passage. Just keep your phone handy in case you are needed...

We had about 30 for a 17th party at ours. I didn’t enjoy it (we hid upstairs!) and found it quite stressful, but it seemed to go well. It was very loud, some drinks got spilled and there was quite a lot of mess. I provided loads of crisps and soft drinks, and they brought their own booze-I didn’t really want to be responsible for providing it!

We also ordered a load of Dominoes to come at about 9pm which was a good call as they were getting quite rowdy and that seemed to calm things down almost immediately!

Am glad they are now 18 and can go to the pub!!

There will certainly be alcohol but at DD's parties I used to ban spirits. They all know me well so obeyed as they knew I'd have no compunction about sending them home if anything like that came to light. Even if they don't know you banning spirits should put at least some of them off and reduce the likelihood of anyone vomiting! We gave DD and her party the ground floor with strict instructions that nobody should go upstairs, and decamped to our bedroom. We supplied beer and wine, and lots of pizza, crisps, biscuits, cake etc to mop up the alcohol. And a cheeseboard because DD loves cheese, which used to amuse some of them. I remember one young man telling me in tones of amazement that he'd never been to a party with a cheeseboard before.

Never had any puking and they stuck to a reasonable sound level (obv we warned the neighbours). Volume down around midnight (we told them beforehand so no disappointment when we said it had to be quieter now).

I think this is about it. I found a few pills on the floor when I was tidying up the next day too.

I think it's do-able if you have a downstairs loo, are very strict in terms of guest list (we said no more than 30 and only good friends we know - obviously a few hangers on did turn up but it was manageable) and prepare for the worst: move anything which might be damaged or broken, prevent access to upstairs (by being up there yourself) and have easy access to a bucket or two, for vomiters. Much easier if it's a warm summer night and you can encourage them outside.,

This is all filling me with dread - my oldest is 15 so only just getting to this stage. Right now he’s at a post-prom party somewhere that apparently had security on the door with a list of names! Sounds quite sensible to avoid the gatecrashers. (I only know as he nipped home for something!)

Cider, lots of cider, oh a sourz shots!

Mine used to plan a party with a few mates but the rule was they used the recycling bins, which had moved to a convenient spot, and they cleared up the mess together. They did, too! We went home around 11.15 and sat upstairs till midnight.

I had several house parties for my twins ie: celebrating finishing their GCSE's, 16th birthday etc. I had about 40/50 of their school friends who all brought some sort of alcohol (none supplied by me!) They were a lovely group of kids, all very friendly, funny and respectful of the surroundings and me. I had at least one adult friend who stayed with me throughout each
party. Yes, a couple were sick (luckily outside), no shagging thankfully! I put a time limit on it and several stayed overnight just sleeping on the sofas or the floor. They helped clear up in the morning too. My reason for allowing the parties were that I knew where my two were and that they could have a safe enjoyable time. There were no drugs, just good kids letting their hair down in a safe place with the care of adults should they need it. They all look back on those parties and remember how much they loved them.
For my twins 18th I hired a function room then they went into town afterwards to the local nightclub, I remember driving around the town hoping they were ok but realising they were 18 and now adults so went home to bed 🤣

You provide food and everyone brings their own booze.

We hosted house party for both DC when they turned 18. DD had a party at 17, but although we allowed her to have a glass of wine or a weak.g and t with us very occasionally from around 15 I insisted that an underage party was alcohol free (and it definitely was!). But 18ths we set a limit on numbers (25 iirc) and knew everyone on the guest list. We provided some beer, cider and soft drinks, and plenty of snacks including cheese board and cake. We stayed in the house but put of the way, and set a curfew of 1am. Bar cans and bottles left on the surfaces for child 1, and friends not leaving on time for child 2 (several of the girls were staying over pre agreed so some of the lads stayed chatting) no incidents at all. Really couldn't complain.

Once back from uni DC regularly hosted dinner parties when we were away...worst that happened was a couple of our bottles of wine got drunk.

DH teaches at the only secondary school in town, so knows all the local teenagers and is well able to deal with gatecrashers. The sobering effect of the person who taught you on Friday period 5, passing through the mayhem is very handy!

Book the local community/church hall & a dj, gets them out of your house

A lot of places like church halls won’t do 18th birthdays from what I can see

Our local football club let us use their facilities for my twins 18th

I have allowed parties since she was 16. I stay in the house, provide koppabergs, alcopops, order in pizza and put a bit marquee up in the garden. The reason I provide those drinks is because I’d prefer to know they’re having that than smuggling in spirits. Never had any chaos, nothing has been damaged, always really respectful and all had a good night. I allow around 20-25 guests. They all have to have left by 1am.