People with really loud voices, what causes it?

[basoon]

Is it upbringing? Some sort of biological thing with vocal cords? We all know the experience of being in a cafe or restaurant and one person's voice just dominates the whole space. I have a very loud friend. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to be with her. She is aware, to some extent, but seems unable to do anything about it. Is there anyone here who knows they have a loud voice but can't modulate it?

I have a problem with voice modulation because of ASD. I sometimes speak too softly or too loud. I often speak too quickly. I’m trying to communicate while being inundated by sensory stimulation and often dealing with anxiety due to the nature of the conversation or the environment. I focus on what I am saying and forget to focus on how I am saying it.

Deaf

A lady at the gym where I go used to be a teacher & you can tell! You can always hear her coming. But i can understand she's probably used to having to project her voice. I think I probably talk quite loud. My brother certainly does

Was going to say this. Really common with autism.

It’s not upbringing. My brother talks in a big booming voice at all times, always has ! My mother always moans I don’t talk loud enough. My husband is very softly spoken despite growing up in a loud house. Loud talkers baffle me. It’s exhausting to talk in that loud a voice constantly and I hate being out at a restaurant and I can fully hear other ppls conversations !

Yes, this is my DD10. She's AuDHD and speaks really loudly, particularly if she is animated about something or telling a long story. She is completely unaware of it and no matter how many times we remind her, it makes no difference.

I have quite a quiet voice, though when I get animated or into explaining something, I tend to speed up and use my hands a lot though I do sometimes become aware mid-spiel so try and make a conscious effort to slow down.

So I think in the majority of cases, it is more likely to be someone's quirk, or as others have said, to compensate for hearing loss (either theirs or someone in their family), rather than someone deliberately being annoying or pompous.

It's culturally particular. I live in the US and it is true that (many) people here are so LOUD. I was recently in Paris, and you could hear the Americans in every cafe, on every street, often before you could see them.
My son, born in the US, is also "naturally" loud. I am telling him to take it down a notch or two, but I know his volume is the norm at his school and with his friends.

My son and his wife are loud. I can't seem to get my voice to go loud (not that I want to), and people say I'm too quiet

It’s the lack of awareness that irritates me. I long to just tell them to STFU.

I agree - DH's voice, intonation and diction have been part and parcel of his profession and he has a clear voice that can carry. However, outside of court, he uses a quiet voice. Similarly dd has a trained singing voice and teaches. She is not loud in general.

I spent several years teaching someone with a foghorn voice in various class combinations. Each class ended up having a very loud conversation level in the effort to talk around her voice in the room. One day I had a colleague from the other end of the block come to my class and pull her out because she was sick of the sound of her voice carrying down the corridor.

I find the leisure centre is bad for attracting booming men. I don't need to hear every word of the conversation from 10m+ away and it's bloody exhausting. The ones that play team sports/ football dads are the worst for it.

It's everywhere. She just speaks at top volume all the time. Never modulate her voice at all no matter where she is.

Fuck off. They are extremely uncomfortable for some people to wear and don't suit every type of hearing loss anyway.

I'm deaf and constantly get told by my step dad I'm being rude for not wearing them like my mother does (after he bullied her into it) but he won't listen to us explaining how our hearing loss presents as distortion not volume loss.

Hearing isn't as simple as "make it louder and it's fixed".

Rudeness to me is a man expecting me to wear uncomfortable plastic in my ears all day that cause headaches, sensory overwhelm, and mental fatigue so he doesn't have to repeat a sentence once or twice a day.

I have absolutely no objection to repeating something a few times a day but when someone expects to be in a group conversation and expects everyone else to shout and constantly repeat things then that is a problem. Even if people don’t like wearing their hearing aids then they could at least put them on for group conversations. If you don’t like your step father then don’t visit him so much.

Mine has gotten louder over the last few years mainly because I spend all day every day on Teams calls where you seem to have your talk a little louder or people constantly ask you to repeat yourself.

I’m slightly deaf so can get a bit loud.

I try to be quiet but when I get over enthusiastic or really engaged in what I’m talking about, I get louder and louder.

Oddly though when other people are loud, I get irritated 🤣

I'm not that loud but my voice is very clear, so I can never get away with bitching or gossiping. I work internationally, though, and it's useful as a lot of second language people can understand me and not my mumbling colleagues. I tend to speak in quite abrupt sentences, not waffley half formed thoughts like my boyfriend.

I work with a loud colleague and I make sure to never sit near her at social events as I'm wincing the whole time.

That's probably part of it; but loud men's voices often don't carry as well as loud women's voices, so they can kind of get lost in the general hubbub; whereas higher-pitched voices can stand out much more clearly.

It's why I'd always choose a female satnav voice over a male one, as they're invariably much more distinct above the noise of the engine, wind or road.

If I had to choose, I would (reluctantly) opt for the foghorn over the ultra softly-spoken mumbles, who clearly want to communicate something but just don't seem able to.

You can ask once or twice for a repetition, but after that, it's just too awkward if they won't/can't speak more loudly and/or clearly, so you often end up having to just guess what they might have said. It's the same with people who have extremely strong accents where, try as you might, you just can't reconcile the sounds that you hear with words that you recognise.

It can be this, I’m sure, but also, hearing aids present their own problems. Background noise in particular. My DD1 (17) has had hearing aids since she was 18 months old and I remember her complaining about ‘noise’ as a toddler. She takes her hearing aids out if it’s too loud for her.

Selfishness and lack of consideration for others quite often.

That's not how hearing aids work though. You can't just pop them in for certain situations. You wear them full time or don't bother at all.

What other disabilities is it rude to ask for accomodations for?

Am I rude for asking we go to the step free pub when I'm out with friends in my wheelchair?

People make small accomodations for disability all the time, it's a perfectly reasonable thing to ask for, but some people get weirdly aggressive about deaf people asking for someone to repeat something.

It's not rude to be disabled.

I know I speak very loudly but I’m only aware because so many people have told me over the years. It sounds normal to me. I do try to deliberately speak more softly, but sometimes I get carried away and I can see people flinching slightly, or they will deliberately drop their voices very softly to try and ‘lead’ me to talk less loudly. I’ve even had it appear in GP notes. I’m very embarrassed about it and try to remember to speak softly, but it’s an effort as loud decibels is my natural speech.

Well you can use something in certain circumstances. My aunt went deaf when she was older. We bought a device from the BDA for when we had group conversations at her nursing home. She wore headphones and there was a microphone we spoke into. No amount of shouting would have worked but this did.

I wonder if loud people are genuinely oblivious? I have one in the office and people often stare at him because of it when he is on the phone but he doesn’t seem to realise.