People with really loud voices, what causes it?

[basoon]

Is it upbringing? Some sort of biological thing with vocal cords? We all know the experience of being in a cafe or restaurant and one person's voice just dominates the whole space. I have a very loud friend. Sometimes I'm embarrassed to be with her. She is aware, to some extent, but seems unable to do anything about it. Is there anyone here who knows they have a loud voice but can't modulate it?

In our family I’d say it’s linked to ND. Both kids have a diagnosis of ADHD and they talk like I am a mile away and at lightning speed. Constantly telling to lower their decibels and take their time.

I’m a very loud person, I’m also partially deaf so I don’t recognise that I’m practically shouting during everyday conversation.

I feel so bad about it but I can’t help it.

Hearing loss with all the people I know who do it. Including me 😞

I teach and so does DS. Sometimes I find him VERY loud in public places, and sometimes I have known my friends to suddenly drop their voices conspicuously in public places when out with me, which makes me realise I have been speaking way too loudly. I think it can be a teacher thing. You are used to having to project across a classroom or lecture hall.

My DD's friend has a loud voice. He's 18 now, but he's been like this since he was little - I remember when they were in primary school and you could always hear his voice singing in the class assembly or school play! He's had his hearing tested and his parents and siblings have normal voices 🤷‍♀️

I have two friends who are loud. Neither have loud family members or anyone with hearing loss. One speaks like she's giving an address in Westminster Abbey- at least nobody ever has to say pardon?. The other friend is like an enthusiastic puppy, she throws herself around and stamps when she walks. She's just loud in every way! I don't think either of them could be quiet. It can be a bit embarrassing being out with them!

Im very quiet (to the point people are always asking me to repeat myself) and have a high "childish" voice which I hate but I dont choose to speak like this. Apparently thats really annoying to other people as well.
Moderate volume people probably dont realise what a gift that is! 🤣

I think there are some sexist undertones in this issue as ive noticed, certainly in the workplace, that men having loud voices seems more widely accepted than women having loud voices.

Because of course women are supposed to adopt pleasant softened tones, rather than being heard properly.

So many men have loud voices while lots of women dont. Personally i can't be doing with having to ask people to speak up all the time....

Lots of things. Dodgy hearing, big families, natural lung capacity and shape of voice box.

I can’t stand it. It feels to me, the 2 people I know who do it, know they are doing it and can learn to bloody control it.
i have to wear loops at work as the woman I work right next to makes me almost clamp my hands over my ears
bloke neighbour, im convinced must be deaf, ive never heard anything like it, horrible

No self-awareness,
main character syndrome,
Enjoy being the centre of attention,
no consideration of others,
or failing that just hearing loss?

I think its disingenuous to say ‘o it’s because I naturally have a loud voice’ or ‘I’m an actor and know how to project’ as I naturally have a loud voice, and Im an actor so I can project to fill a theatre without a microphone. I choose not to when it’s not appropriate because it’s obnoxious and shows lack of self-awareness/social etiquette.

All of the above. If someone on the next table can hear you, you are speaking too loudly. I have been known to do a passive aggressive jump if someone suddenly speaks loudly across the way from me in a restaurant. No need for it.

I thought of this thread this morning when I was having breakfast in a large restaurant. DH and I were having a normal conversation, a couple at the next table were doing the same, and 2 woman were having a conversation over on the other side of the room - and I could hear every single word they were both saying. Not just the odd word, literally everything. How do you become so lacking in self awareness that you don't clock your volume?!

I think being loud is possibly a natural thing and that's fair enough, but it's also possible to adapt yourself to different situations. I have a low tolerance for people who are loud and inappropriate. They usually lack self awareness. Perhaps they dont notice they are loud themselves but they have missed reading the room entirely, friends acting embarrassed, people nearby looking at them etc. It should be very obvious they are doing something inappropriate. They are capable of modulating their voice, even loud people can whisper if they are told to do so.

My husband always says how loud me and our kids are - he’ll say things like ‘I’m sitting right next to you, you don’t need to shout!’ Me and the kids all have ADHD so I wonder if that has something to do with it? Something to do with impulsivity and difficulties with self regulation? Interestingly I’m never told I’m loud at work or formal settings, it’s always when I’m relaxed.

So the reason is that they have projection in their voices. You can develop it by training and it is really important to singers, of course. They do have the lung and breathing power and technique to support the sound they are making.
Now, if she is too loud socially it must be an issue with her hearing. That she cannot hear herself being so loud.
Does it only happen in noisy environments? Or anywhere?

I don’t agree that men are louder than woman.
The women being quieter might be a thing but that more that the shrieking laugh is just a terrible noise in itself . Same as men that doing that stupidly loud sneezing or make stupid pwoarh type noises.
Either sex talking loudly on their phone is annoying.

At least I can hear loud people, I know someone who speaks so quietly I can hardly make out a word she says. I don’t like having a conversation with her as I don’t know what she’s talking about

Was just thinking about this. Sitting in my garden and god our neighbours talk loudly. I have no idea why they think everyone needs to hear them

I have a family member who is extremely loud, I have no idea why, her siblings are not but you could be in a room of 20+ people music playing etc and you genuinely can’t hear the person right next to you but you can hear her across the room, I feel claustrophobic spending any length of time near her!

Sometimes it's autism. DS is loud and needs reminding if he's shouting.

Sometimes it's deafness.

But I also think sometimes it's just how people are. I'm not from the area I live in and have always thought people round here shout for absolutely no reason.

My awful loud neighbours especially are teaching their awful kids to shout too. They're stood next to each other and shouting for no reason. Drives me bonkers.

I find people are too loud or unnaturally quiet. We fall into the medium category, and quiet honestly we're usually sandwiched next to a family who don't utter a word to each other!

We have a woman that attends a club in the local library. You can hear her from the other side of the building. Grates on my nerves!

I don’t think it’s loudness so much as people with those piercing, ringing voices who sound like they are in a school play all the time.

YANBU,

Some it's performative. In others it's mild hearing loss.