Friend mocked my eating on holiday and I feel really hurt

[BlueOtter9]

Recently went on a holiday with a friend. Or so I thought. I have an active ED. Begins with a b to be specific. I hate typing it out as I have a very negative cycle attached to it. She didn’t know I have an ED as I used to also be a fitness coach and still do this so i am
really regimented, but here is the story.

We went for ice cream. I had a large ice cream. Essentially the size of a regular pot of Ben and jerrys. So we later went for a wine tasting with random strangers. She’d had a bit to drink but me not so much as it’s a trigger.

there was snacks on offer at the wine tasting such as cake and chocolate. The man next to me stuck his fork in. Licked it and took another bite. He then offered me and I jokingly said. No it’s too many calories no extras needed.

The supposed friend of mine then pipes up and said “it’s fine she wasn’t thinking of the calories earlier with the ice cream. Wait let me show you a picture”

Me being me said “that’s not going to be necessary don’t do that” she proceeds to say “no it is wait look at this ice cream lol!” I said “erm ok. I’m a runner I’ll run when I’m home.” To which she said “not been running here though”

So I sat quietly and said nothing. I phoned my mum to rant as she’s the only one who knows of my ed but it’s really upset me. More so I considered her a friend and I feel she wanted to make me the butt of a joke on purpose?

Ed or not I’d never say this to anyone cause who actually cares what someone eats? Mental!

But she doesn't even know you have an ED...
She just wanted to make a joke about the massive ice cream.
You are the one that brought up "calories ".
Blimey, over sensitive much.

Was the man next to you a stranger licking his fork and offering it to you. Caka at a wine tasting? Weird

Identical post a few weeks ago?

Nor would I! It’s the kind of thing I’d say to my husband, thinking he was almost joking turning something down for ‘calories’ but eating a huge icecream. And this is the issue OP… plenty people wouldn’t be offended, so you can’t assume your friend meant any ill will.

She doesn’t know that it’s a problem for you. My BIL buys enormous ice creams for himself - big sharing ones that you can buy in Denmark. They are comically big.
You chose that ice cream because of your mental health difficulties, not because you wanted a fun, indulgent holiday treat, but your friend doesn’t know that.

This . Anyone mentioning calories and running them off is a turn off at home never mind on holiday when we all relax and loosen up over eating and drinking .

Sorry about the derail but does anyone think it is weird to serve cake and chocolate with wine?

Surely snacks with wine would be savoury?

Are we reading about the same person?

Are we reading about the same person?

Pretty sure this was posted word for word a few weeks ago....

No, she was food shaming and persisted even when OP explained she was uncomfortable.

I don’t think she was cruel as she doesn’t know about your eating disorder. Having a couple of drinks made her say what she thought as a bit of banter. Makes her maybe unthoughtful but not cruel. But many people would think it given you said no to cake and snacks specifically mentioning calories when you had just eating a large tub of ice cream. I’m sure if she knew she would be horrified at having upset you but she doesn’t.

This was posted last week.

Yes this exact post has appeared before, not all that long ago. I remember the line ‘not been running here though’.
Glitch in the Matrix??

This was posted not long ago, and is probably AI.

A whole tub of ben and jerrys is a ridiculously large ice cream. You're being way too over sensitive. She does not know you have an ED.

I can’t stand these AI threads that keep (re)popping up. But equally I can’t stand these tedious AI answers.

“OP I’ve asked AI and it says….” Great, but the OP asked for real human opinions or they would have asked AI themselves.

I’d tend to agree with this.

All the responses saying it was only banter etc, I feel it’s a lack of empathy. The OP has an ED, which means she is focusing probably far more than someone without would. If you don’t have issues with food, it’s easy to dismiss comments as ‘just a joke’, but I’d be pissed off at a friend taking/showing a stranger something I’d eaten. It’s weird.

I agree that she shouldn’t have mentioned calories, it’s enough to say no thanks. I remember reading about being offered a cigarette in an etiquette book a hundred years ago: when offered, you ought not to say ‘I don’t smoke’. It’s sufficient to say ‘No thank you’. You don’t need to expand or explain.

An ice cream the size of a B&J cone is comically large.

If you don’t want to talk about things like intake and calories don’t bring it up.

I agree. You kinda started it by mentioning calories.

Whilst your friend was rude, similarly you were rude to the man offering in the cake in the first place. It was unnecessary to mention the calorie content, no matter how much you tried to make it sound like a joke

Oh wow get a grip. Talk about dramatisation.

When people comment about how much I'm eating, or what I eat, I eat more of it. Who cares what others think? You can't control your friends mouth but you can control your reaction. Don't absorb negativity like it's your job. Brush it off and move on.