Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

Yes, turning up is unhinged but I’d love to hear the tutor’s side of the story!

This ^

To me it sounds like the OP was happy with the tutoring but its "Certain things have come to light which I did not not about before" which could mean absolutely anything.

Her behaviour was completely unacceptable, of course.

A negative review for a tutor can be disproportionately damaging to their business, which I expect is why she is panicking. It’s not like leaving a negative review for a company at all. It’s likely this will have had a major effect on her ability to make a living.

I hope the review you left was fair and strictly necessary for you to post for others to see. Impossible to judge without you explaining what went on and what you said.

I'm also curious about the content of the reviews when you say certain things came to light? Was she inappropriate in some way towards your child?

Yes I do wonder why the OP used her for over a year and then left a negative review. The tutor can't have been that bad.

What exactly did you say @Booyou123 Must have been quite bad if she was that upset. Still, her behaviour, coming over and shouting at you at nearly 10 at night was out of order. If I'd been her I would have emailed you or WhatsAppd you and asked you to remove it and if you didn't I would have sought legal advice if I had thought the review was inaccurate/lies/exaggerated, because this kind of thing can ruin someone's career. As has been said, she could have had people dropping her, and she could be losing custom hand over fist. She is probably distraught. I wish people would think before posting bad reviews online!

As I said, it depends what it was and if it was accurate. As has been said though, why on earth would anyone use someone for a YEAR if they were bad enough for a scathing review?

Putting another review on (as someone suggested earlier,) saying she's bonkers/unhinged/aggressive etc is a bloody TERRIBLE idea. Don't do this OP!

What things came to light? I don't think anyone can answer fully without knowing.

If it was 'tutor is actually SIL of the headteacher which is why she gets recommended' I think that would be highly inappropriate. If it is 'tutor holds herself out as having a degree but she actually only has A levels' that is much more acceptable as a review.

To those who are saying ‘Oh her son failed, let’s blame the tutor and destroy her business’

The exam has NOT taken place yet. It’s in September.

My issues with her tutoring were directly something I experienced and my son. I believe there was a lack of transparency, poor communication and not being clear about his learning journey and timeline.

I don’t want to destroy anyone’s business, but people have a right to know about people’s experiences so they can make informed decisions. I did slate, or slander her or her company directly. I wrote about our experience.

Sorry I meant to say I did NOT slate it slander her directly

The reason for the review or the termination are irrelevant.

Hopefully she will leave you alone, but if she doesn't you will need to either issue a cease and desist and / or contact the police again. It is harassment which is obviously a crime.

You don't deserve it.

Why on earth would you leave that review without speaking to the tutor about your experience? This is her livelihood. Do you understand that people need to work to pay their bills? Was it really that bad?

How would you feel if someone wrote a review about you online?
you just sound like a nasty person tbh

Out of interest was this via an agency? I had similar tutor experience via the C&F agency in London but not the unhinged behaviour!

Feedback provided by us but not listened to so switched after 7 months. We didn't know what a good tutor loled like hence it takes awhile for a parent to figure out.

The tutor is clearly unhinged because no one would do this, if sane.

She’s rightly upset that she’s had a negative review, but that’s what reviews are for and if she can’t cope with rejection then maybe she shouldn’t be on a review site.

I, personally, would let it drop. I’d inform her, I accept her apology, however will not be removing the review. If she continues with her harassment then I will contact the police, again, in order for her to be charged formally.

Why on earth would you leave that review without speaking to the tutor about your experience? This is her livelihood. Do you understand that people need to work to pay their bills? Was it really that bad?

I have to agree with this. As I said, I wish people would think before leaving scathing reviews online about people. I still think it's very strange to use/employ a tutor for a YEAR who was seemingly worthy of a terrible review online, so bad that she is distraught and devastated to the point that she is ranting at the person on her front door step at nearly 10pm. It must have been a BAD review!

It's just not making sense to me.

Unless I am mis understanding this is very different to "Certain things have come to light which I did not not about before".

You left a BAD review for one individual person, of COURSE you slandered her directly!

I don't really know why, but unless I was really severely ripped off by someone I don't think I'd leave a negative Google review for a one man band. It does seem kind of public and personal.

I can't believe that an exam meant to seperate out the wheat from the chaff, now has people paying for their primary aged children to get tutored to get a leg up.

This means that less bright kids, whose parents can afford it will get places at the best schools, while brighter kids with poorer patents will not. This is not how the system was supposed to work!

I don't know how people live with themselves.

As I said, it's not making sense.

she definitely should not have come to your house or harassed you. She should’ve sent you a polite letter asking why you left such a bad review and you should have responded to that fairly and politely.

However - I suspect you are being unreasonable in the review. You used her for an entire year - unless she did something AWFUL in the very last session, leaving a negative review is very poor judgement from you and to be honest makes you seem an incredibly unseasonable person.
If you really did feel she was a terrible service, you wouldn’t have used her for a year. A negative review in this instance is very unreasonable of you and will be hugely hugely detrimental to her business.
She is obviously mostly professional and engaged in her work. At the very least, you should have left her a neutral review.

I think you should change your review to one that is actually accurate - explaining you used her services for a year.
I honestly think people like you make life so difficult for small businesses! Have you no idea what damage a review can do?
And how long lasting it is?
You should’ve stopped using her from the moment you felt she was inadequate. You didn’t - that’s on you.

‘I believe there was a lack of transparency, poor communication and not being clear about his learning journey and timeline.’

So this to me reads as your son wasn’t doing as well or making the progress you wanted or believed he was doing better than he was and the tutor didn't tell you. His learning journey wasn’t progressing at your speed or the required speed for the test and you blamed the tutor.

Well I’d definitely be writing a further review to let other parents know she’s unhinged!

This

Just to spare you the embarrassment, I think you mean GDPR, not DBS.

You don't appear to understand what slander means.

@Booyou123 "I believe there was a lack of transparency, poor communication and not being clear about his learning journey and timeline."

OK, but that's a bit different from "certain things have come to light" which is what you said initially. The latter comment implies that you discovered something rather unsettling about her. What were the reviews like for her generally?