Tutor turned up at my house at 9.45pm over a negative Google review – what would you do?

[Booyou123]

Hi everyone

I’m still quite shaken up by this and would appreciate some thoughts and perspectives.

My son attended a private tutor for about a year at the start of Year 5 for the 11 plus exam. After we stopped using her services, I left an honest Google review based on our experience. It wasn’t abusive or offensive, just a negative review.

The tutor was extremely upset by it. She repeatedly called me and my husband, sent so many emotional voice notes and messages, and even contacted my sister-in-law (who also has used her tutoring services) multiple times because she knows her. She told my sister in law that if I don’t take the review down, she’s calling the police as I am violating her business.

The part that has really terrified and shocked me is that she then turned up unannounced at my house at around 9.45pm. She was banging on the door and windows, demanding to speak to me about the review. She was absolutely hysterical, crying and sending me messages begging me to take the review down.

My children were in the house and ran upstairs because they were scared. My son was crying and very frightened, and asked why his teacher was there banging on the door.

I called the police afterwards and was advised to document everything. They couldn’t deploy anyone as they had some major incident in Woolwich, London. They told me that if there were further incidents, the behaviour could potentially amount to harassment.

Since then, she has sent a message apologising for coming to my house, saying she will never do it again and won’t contact me further.

What is bothering me most is that she only knew where we lived because of her professional relationship with our family. I can’t get past the feeling that using a client’s address to turn up at their home over a Google review is a huge breach of professional boundaries, maybe even DBS and goodness knows what else.

Part of me thinks I should just accept the apology and move on. Another part of me feels this was so inappropriate that I should take it further. She’s a woman who runs a professional tutoring company, and she was completely unhinged.

What would you do in my position?

They said he was probably on his break and thought my street was quiet so a good place to stop?! Or that he might have been waiting for a lesson nearby… Plenty of other streets to park on in the vicinity or even houses to park outside of. Also would be a really weird place to park on a break given it’s not a main route to anywhere else and specifically my house, why?

Anyway, according to AIBU I was the insane one and I definitely required therapy for my paranoia.

That’s insane. But this type of shit is a reminder of how men get away with harassing women and stalking them for so long. Even when it’s obvious they manage to make her look crazy and people will just be wilfully obtuse.

You’re entitled to leave a review based on your own personal experiences and that’s that. It provides a broad view for others to make a decision on whether to engage with someone’s services. You could just leave things as they are and ignore her or you could update your review to reflect her recent behaviour. I don’t agree that you should accepted behaviour because you don’t know what personal struggles she may be experiencing, she has provided as service as a professional person and becoming concerned about how her personal issues could have changed her behaviour are none of your concern and shouldn’t be considered. She provided a professional service, it did not ultimately meet your expectations and you are entitled to review accordingly. She is also able to respond to your review with an apology. How it affects any future bookings is down to her actions only

Flipping heck, absolutely keep the review up. She’s providing a service, you aren’t happy about it. It’s perfectly reasonable to leave a review with your opinion and experience.

Make it clear to the tutor you know who contacted you that the review will be staying up and you’ve contacted the police who will take it further if she does this sort of thing again.

It sounds like she is currently very unwell and it’s reasonable to be compassionate re her health issues but her behaviour was inappropriate to the point of being threatening and therefore calls into question whether she should be around children at present and suggest that they reflect on that.

Tell him/her that if she contacts you in anyway again not only will you report it to the police but you will update your google review with screen shots of the 15 missed calls and time stamped images of her on your doorstep at 9.45pm. Mention your property has cctv.

Then tell your friends you’re not happy with the service because of what you covered in your original review ie she’s not preparing the children in the way she said she would in order to maximise profits from additional last minute tutoring and you’ve called her out on this.

Well if you are going to disbelieve everything an OP says, it makes online discussion kind of pointless!

Would you bang on the door of an unhappy customer/client in the evening if they gave you bad feedback? I wouldn’t. Comparing it with an amazon delivery is just odd.

I really disagree. I want someone here to tell me when is it ever ok to turn up at someone’s house at 9.45pm unannounced. Such a crossing and violation of boundaries. I’m personally in bed by then exhausted from my commuting to London for my job and my toddler.
Reviews are part of the parcel of certain industries and self-employment. If you can’t hack this, you need to become employed.

Ever heard of the phrase, if you don't have anything nice or constructive to say don't say anything at all? The OP could do to learn it. The OP obviously wrote something major for the tutor to act like she did and she's not telling us the full extent of it. And nothing about my post is 'vile'. Don't think you know the meaning of the word 'vile'. And NO I'm not a tutor! 🙂

We don't know if the OP is spinning the story to fall in her favour. She might be exaggerating the time that the tutor came, she might be embellishing other things. We just don't know, for the tutor to act like she did - yes I agree totally out of order, but this is why I don't fully believe the OP's spin on the story. Would love to hear the tutor's point of view - I think it would shut a lot of you up for sure.

This thread is completely bananas. Now I’m accused of the tutors mental health deteriorating to the extent she may do something to herself?!

Thanks to all the well wishers for my sons exams, he’s working hard and his new tutor has been a breath of fresh for him!

I imagine the tutor saw her scam being exposed and flew into a rage.

If you think the OP is lying what’s the point in even engaging with the thread?

Good point!! 🙂 I just felt the OP was being harsh, so I wanted to put my own views across. My take on it is the OP put an awful review on, even after using her for 1 year, then ignored the tutor asking for it removing which then caused the tutor to spiral and act unhinged and probably out of character. The tutor must have felt very strongly that the review was unfair, for her to act like that.

This thread Mumsnet is completely bananas

Fixed it for you 😂

Even if the ONLY thing that OP says is correct is that the tutor turned up at 9:45pm, it is STILL unacceptable behaviour.

So what if she spins it in her favour, as most of us do in the retelling of a story? We wont ever hear the tutor's side, so have to take it on face value. And at face value, the tutor is unhinged and should not be scamming people working with children.

Thats what I think too... She must make £££ and kids/parents just come and go...no acountability. I dont think its the first time she did bully a parent to remove a bad review. Things like that dont just happen "first time".

Its a stressful time of exams and who has the energy and mental strength to deal with her. So most parents would remove the review and be happy its over, and move on.
Not this time. keep it up OP!

Yes but if you say to the OP that the woman shouldn't be working with children, based on the OP's possibly twisted version of events and then the OP takes this as the right to report the tutor and to add another review stating that the tutor is unhinged, then that would be not fully justifiable and futher damaging to the tutor. We don't know the full story. The tutor apologised for her bad behaviour. The review should just be removed or amended into something more constructive and the OP and tutor should just go on with their lives.

Breach of GDPR - put in a complaint and get compensation.

I know it’s the end of the thread more or less but I’m a sole trader and self employed. I’m a tattoo artist who works at a studio (not owned by me) and when you are a sole trader, providing a service, you surely have to know and accept that reviews are part of your professional life. It’s up to you to operate your business well enough that the good outweighs the bad, and any complaints are dealt with professionally. If someone makes an unreasonable and unhinged bad review (it’s happened to me twice in 12 years) you reply calmly, and allow people to see both sides of the story. People can see, more than anything, that you’re safe to work with.

Can you absolutely imagine if you replaced this with “my Tattoo Artist showed up at my house banging on doors and windows over a negative review”? How many people would be defending the artist then? (I mean half of Mumsnet hate tattoos but still!)

There’s no mitigating circumstances for what happened OP. Not even mental health issues. Not whether it was a tattooist or a dog walker or a cleaner or a roofer, but especially someone in a position where they are trusted with your children.

You are completely within your rights to report this and to update your review should you choose to. It is completely understandable and proportionate to what happened, please don’t let some of these posts convince you otherwise.

Scammers deserve to have their 'businesses' ruined.

I don't care about the mental health of a scammer. And nobody's mental health is an excuse for bad behaviour towards anyone else.

Reviews exist to protect us all.

OP has the right to feel safe in her own home regardless of whom she may or may not have upset.

I agree about scammers, but was she really a scammer? The OP used her for a year. Also, the tutor was crying and hysterical at the house. That's not really threatening behaviour. Uncomfortable for the family, unprofessional and out of order, yes. Like I say, what was written about her that resulted her to this? It must have been something very harsh and unjust.

Why have you chosen to believe there is a tutor, that the tutor came over at all?

It's such an odd way to approach a post - sure, we could all imagine a million different things happen, but the nature of a thread is: given this series of events, was it unreasonable?

Not 'given this series of events but randomly change whichever bits you like'.... !

This is probably one of the weirdest responses I’ve seen on MN. If someone turned up at my door after harassing me because of a Google review I’d be raging and the ring doorbell footage would be posted stat. OP if what you’re saying is true she is a nutter who shouldn’t be around children.

Anyway I just received a phone call from another tutor in our area (who knows me and our other tutor) who knows what has happened last night (I didn’t tell her) and has requested me to take the review down as this banging on the door tutor has lots of mental health issues and this could significantly affect her.

This other tutor is seriously missing the point.

I don't dispute that she has mental health issues. But 'dealing with it' by taking down a factual review, and allowing her to keep tutoring, isn't a constructive or healthy way to go about it.
I don't know if she or her racket business are members of or affiliated with any kind of professional body, but if so I would certainly take it to them. Her actions are at best unprofessional and, I would argue, harassment. I'd also seriously question her use of clients' personal details to call you, turn up at your house and call your SIL and would look into the legality of that.

Google also moderate reviews. If there was something so wildly inappropriate and offensive in my review, it would not have been posted.

I am really glad I am keeping my review up. For the prospective 11 plus students next year, I do not want them to get scammed by additional costs through preying on vulnerable parents. Simple as that.

My neighbours also have crystal clear CCTV of her in front of my home, which if needed I will use.

Exactly this. Surely you either take the situation as posted by the OP at face value and respond accordingly, or just don’t bother responding at all. Why choose to believe certain parts of it but not others?