Friend was annoyed I bought her son a book from the charity shop ..was I wrong ?

[luluxxx]

My friends little boy loves reading,he loves books.
It was his birthday last week and I spotted an old Pinocchio book in the charity shop ,it was from 1957 and inside In pencil was a note “to Jim happy 6th birthday love Eleanor”
I don’t know but it tugged at my heart strings a bit.
In my head I thought that book was full of love and rather than sitting in Charity shop or even worse landfill that it would be nice to go to another home to me loved.
I also bought him so new books from Waterstones too.
My friend text basically saying she threw it away as it was dirty ,and her words “no offense but I don’t think you should give a book from a charity shop that’s been good knows where “ as a gift.
Anyway I’m assuming she’s thrown it away
I was a bit sad because I was only trying to do something nice.
It deffo wasn’t dirty either,it was the old pages and they had little yellow areas (not dirt just a old book)

Did I do wrong ?
I have anxiety to start with ,now I’m kicking myself for being too sentimental and probably made a fool of myself

Whether she appreciated it for what it was or not, there is no excuse for such rudeness. End of.

I don't like your friend. That was a heartfelt gift in my opinion. For her to bin it AND send that text was gross. I tend to fade people out of my life when they're like that, and make space for other new people who share my sentiments. I once bought a toy musical instrument for a friend's kid, and they hid it from him and left it at the grandparents house, as they don't like noisy toys. They can get stuffed.

I would text your horrible friend "If the book is unwanted may I have it back please". No apologies. It was a lovely, sweet, thoughtful gift and vintage books should be treasured.

If she has indeed binned it then I would bin her too. She would fade out of my life, I wouldn't want such obnoxious energy around me.

I often receive things from charity shops as we have relatives working in them . No issue at all. I sometimes buy toys for my toddler in them. It’s your friend who is the rude one. And furthermore it’s bad for the environment having this attitude that everything has to be brand new

How rude. I would have loved such a thoughtful present for my child.
Id write back and say you hope she hasn't binned it as vintage story books are very collectable, and may be worth a lot of money. Hopefully that will send her digging through her bin to rescue it. Its so sad to think of it going to landfill.

I don't second hand items should be given as presents.

You don’t what?

Who throws away a GIFT and tells the giver they have thrown it away! How awful! I wouldn’t buy her child anything ever again!!

There’s so much wrong with this person. Why does she not appreciate a gift? why does she not care about the environment? Why is she risking a friendship by saying she’s thrown the gift away? Arghhh I actually hate her lol

A true friend would never send a message like that, even if she thought this.

I probably would have been confused as to why you put that book in with new books, I think it's the sort of thing that would be better understood with a little explanation (and your explanation is really lovely!).

Her rudeness is another level.

Your friend is an idiot and rude, it was very thoughtful, also vintage books are often worth a bit

Also imagine if it was a first addition or something… you should say that to her 😂 actually I paid hundreds for that book it’s a first edition and would have only gone up in value it was an investment for little billy

Poor kid with a mother like that.

Very odd behaviour. No one is entitled to their friends buying their kids presents full stop so when one kindly does, you say thank you and keep any other thoughts to yourself.

Id also have my heart strings tugged at by the fact that Jim, who would now be 75, and possibly no longer around due to the book ending up in a charity shop was a little 6 year old boy once upon a time. A six year old someone cared for enough to buy a birthday present for, and he likely cared for Eleanor enough to keep it all those years. I certainly wouldn’t chuck it.

I wouldn’t have been over-impressed with a used book with a message to and from random strangers. The new books were enough.

She's a complete philistine. I often rescue books with inscriptions in them as I feel they should be cherished. My child would have loved that particular book. What an ill-educated and shallow person.

No , you did absolutely nothing wrong. Those vintage books are much better. I'm always grabbing armful of LadybirdBooks for my grandchildren; all wrapped up for Birthdays or Christmas. They're all in good nick. Job done!!!!

I think that’s a lovely thing to do and you bought new books as well. I think your friend sounds very entitled.
It’s sad she’s thrown it out. She could have asked you if you wanted it back , which is still weird behavior, but better than sending it to landfill.

While I love shopping from charity shops for myself, I would not buy second hand items for young kids. Not because it looks cheap but kids put everything in their mouth. I would not risk it.

Disgusting behaviour from your so-called, “friend”. What an utter bitch. I’d take the opportunity to distance yourself, permanently, good riddance to her!

Think!😉

She was so rude.

I love second hand books but I get not everyone feels the same. I would have felt the same as you, I love finding books with the previous owner’s name or a message etc.

Would you have sent a message like the friend did though?

I've only read your posts, OP, but just wanted to add my voice to all those who I assume have also said you did absolutely nothing wrong. In fact you did something lovely and heartfelt and had it thrown back in your face and your feelings deeply hurt.
If she really didn't want to pass the book on to her child, she could've just re-donated it herself to another charity shop and not mentioned it to you. I hate too to think of that book just being binned for no good reason.

Boom boom