How can I deal with my adult daughter refusing to wear a seatbelt?

[IdaSpare]

Please help, I'm at the end of my tether, my 21 year old daughter who will not wear a seatbelt either driving or as a passenger. She was always brought up to wear it and everyone else in the family always wears one. I think it's a sensory thing as she has always been very difficult about changing clothes or dealing with zips and labels etc but if she is going to drive a car, she has to wear it. It's quite unusual for me to be in a car with her anymore but every time recently I have been, I've had to tell her to put it on. I know she goes straight back to not wearing one when I'm not there. I've resorted to threatening to call the police on her myself but short of taking her keys off her I don't know what to do. I'm hoping I can show her this and she can realise how reckless and stupid she's being. Please, if any of you have any pearls of wisdom to share about dealing with a stubborn, know it all daughter, I'd be so grateful.

Does she appreciate that the insurance is worthless if she’s not wearing a seatbelt? Aside from the risk of injury to herself, if there is an accident the insurance will refuse to pay out and she’ll have to cover the cost not only of repairs to her car but also any damage to third party property/personal injury.

Yep, they really wont.

On another thread, I said my DF some times drove my mum's car after he had a drink (I think it was on a thread about drunk driver's cars being crushed if they where caught).
I was given shit for not calling 999 and reporting him... despite the fact I did not know when he was doing it or what he was wearing... and he was only going about 500m up the road (to the shop to buy more booze). I also did not live anywhere near him. All I knew is that he did it sometimes.
I had no info to give the police.

Unless your paying for her car or insurance in which case obviously stop. Theres nothing you can do shes an adult.

Exactly!

In the 1970s there was a shocking poster ad.

A close up of a young woman's face terribly scarred all over.
Underneath it said "She didn't want to wear a seatbelt because she didn't want to crease her dress".

I can't find it anywhere but if I close my eyes I can still see that face.

If it is a sensory need you need to look at ways around it. Have you spoken to your daughter about exactly what the problem with the seatbelt is? It may be too tight, rubbing her neck, restricting her too much - if you can work out exactly what it is she doesn't like, there are all sorts of adaptive things you can buy to get round the issue.

No, the DD is an adult, she needs to look for a solution.

Every single time she’s driving on her own and you know she won’t be wearing a seatbelt call the police. 999 not non emergency

They wont care, and wont send someone out to look for her. A total waste of time and resources to call 999.

Give over!! You think 999 is appropriate? What’s the emergency? An active mugging? Rape? House break in? Assault?

Given how long people wait for police response for actual emergencies, PP is taking the P saying to call 999 because her DD is not wearing a seatbelt.

Have I missed it was an ironic post 🤦‍♀️! I thought it was serious!

I agree about response times, the DD would have gone through many different divisions before se was caught, met to Surrey to Sussex etc!

My husband's a retired police officer. He says Saturday night in local A&E was carnage. One Saturday night he goes in and it's quiet, he asks what's going on and a nurse said it's been like this since seat belt law, it was just a few weeks before but his first Saturday night shift since the law came in.

Silly girl not sure what you can do, maybe if you find a photo of facial injuries after a crash and no seat belt.

I read that organ donations dropped when the law came in too.

Is she a small person ?

I'm 5"2 and find even with the seat belt lowered as much as possible that they cut into my throat and consequently very uncomfortable.

I have clips that change the angle of the strap, bringing it lower so I'm not being throttled. Maybe these could help ?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Seatbelt-Universal-Adjuster-Optimal-Comfort/dp/B0DLGTV75S/ref=sr_1_13?crid=YWX76A5JX6LQ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Oq7FiGqwUpF9ow9_lsUB5Xp5K6hXOl6aeEz4eshpecJK8saw92kbEzCkmNL4X-lLfpR4pH2r5NLvlwMt_DJPleUcYMs5Vy_2jd_MxJadN-lwV2odxvMfjyKGH3QCW_WxaU3we7efvzhXoLWNvQURyedImnv6pEEB-C6c3Tu1JmEGieHcaW7cEzvIldKw70nuW6gg7mOdnsffm3HnZ-0PPbQ5giBzjOL5GPxiZnBq6mU.vHs6rvbK9elLIcCOpO8Ohe4_u7X5K57tz0ZeRg_sAQc&dib_tag=se&keywords=at+belt+adjuster+clip&qid=1780777344&sprefix=at+belt+adjuster+clip%2Caps%2C113&sr=8-13

No, I read it as serious too.

I’d do absolutely nothing when you’re not in the car with her.
She is an adult. She is only endangering herself.

Shell soon end up with a fine. More of she insist on carrying on doing it.
Her choice

My response would be very different if she was putting others in danger (speeding, alcohol etc etc).

She is an adult.
At 21yo, time to take responsibility for her own life. Incl finding ways to wear her seatbelt even she has sensory issues.
There are many things that can be done. Up,to her to look first what will work fir her

If its you or someone else driving, she's the passenger and the driver just sits till its on

Im one of those seat belt haters , even though it was "clunk Clic with every trip " back in my day

I might get off the drive and 1/2 mils up the road, and the seat belt for me goes on

A friend who would be taxiing, not a mission will he get pff the drive without us all being belted

Oh great! I misread your post then!

It was truly ridiculous though, dial 999……to say my daughters gone out without a seat belt, maybe also do it if she hasn’t taken a warm jacket in winter abd she may breakdown 🤷‍♀️

Your body becomes a missile and can endanger others.

I am so very sorry, @CupcakeFunny

Yep.

Go on Youtube and search for 'seat belt PSA'.... loads of scary ads about it.

70s public info films should do the trick.

I just wouldn’t drive her anywhere until she sees sense.

Does she realise that if you were stopped by the police, you could get points on your licence for failing to make a passenger wear a seatbelt?

Surely grounds enough for refusing to drive her anywhere.