When were your children most expensive?

[RoamingToaster]

I’ve noticed some people saying children are more expensive as they get older. Is that true for you? I’ve paid for nursery which is a lot so I’m hoping it’s not for me 😂. I’m curious what everyone’s experience has been.

@goodnessss the Government expect you to foot the bill, that is why it is based on parent income. DS had a PT job, but not his fault our jobs meant he got minimum loan, at the very least parents should top up to maximum loan amount.

All stages had expenses- nursery was horrendously expensive, then mid primary and throughout secondary they had quite expensive extra curricular and now university.

Pre school with the childcare fees
everything else after that is optional (spoiling them, private school etc)

Loan doesn’t even cover accommodation costs, never mind living costs. It’s also means tested so my kids have never had anywhere near the full loan amount.

As I said they all work They do reffing from 14 and babysitting and from 16 have all got jobs pot washing or working in a local cafe.
Also they buy all their clothes off vinted or from charity shops.
I do buy them coats and shoes though and all school uniform.for the ones in high school.
We live in a city were all buses are a maximum of £2 and from 16-19 they have free bus transport. The cinema is 2 for £7 with their phone contracts and the gym is £16 a month. They eat out cheaply. With their mates, they are all in a similar situation, so dont do expensive things a lot but instead play sport, go to park run, hang out at each other's houses and have parties. We are in a big city, so there are loads of cheap gigs to go to.
If they want to do something expensive like a theme park or go on holiday, they work and save.
We can't afford the premier league clubs but do go to the rugby and local teams a lot (we usually pay).
£50 can go quite a long way. As a result of this, they are hard working, know how to hold down a job, look after their things and haven't bought into the material spending that some of their friends have.
They also know as a result of this attitude towards money (we also buy ninety percent of our clothes second hand) means we have enough money to go on holiday twice a year.
Wouldn't necessary work for everyone but definitely works for us.

For those who have it to pay for, full time child care and university contributions will be the most expensive times.
Setting those aside ( not everyone will have these costs) id say 17-18 if they remain in full time education. Driving lessons, car, insurance, clothing, socialising, gym membership, phone etc.

26
both of them but for different reasons

Agree with majority of posters here, Nursery fees and University, or if someone gives up their job like my friend who was a high earner. Her wages disappeared for 13 years plus she had a company car, laptop and phone.

We had put aside 20k for DS University years, his intended course had very high contact hours. He ended up doing a degree apprenticeship so got his degree at zero cost to us and no debt. DS did work from 13 paper round , kitchen porter, freight handler.

We offered to pay for driving lessons for his birthday, he did us a favour by only needing a dozen and passing first time and we never took him out to practice in our car.

On all the University campus DH and I worked on which is 4 between us student cars were banned and only students with disabilities were allowed to park.

Now. teens and early 20s x 3

University accommodation.
Driving lessons (no car but don’t want them to be limited in their eventual job search)
Gym - cheap one that they can use at home or uni. Gets them into good habits for life and good for mental health and keeping them active. They all use it.
Phones until they finish education
Whilst still at school/sixth form they get a monthly allowance to cover lunches, haircuts, travel when needed (London so mostly covered thankfully).
Various one offs such as interview clothes/shoes, wedding outfits - all now adult pricing.
Meals out are bloody expensive as a family now and limited to special occasions.
Holidays - so expensive to pay for 3 extra adult pricing for everything but they still enjoy coming and we enjoy having them.

We only ever paid nursery for one as after our second it was cheaper to have a nanny (I worked part time).

The sweet spot was probably when they were all within the 5-17 bracket.

The older two do have part time jobs so clothes, socialising and DD’s ridiculous skincare habit are largely covered apart from Christmas and birthdays. From 13 DD cost a small fortune until she got a part time job.

Exactly. Leave them to get on with it!

We sometimes ruefully laugh at how loaded we would be without kids! I was sahm so lost wages for 6 years. Now the uni years 🙈.

Thats why those “shall I have a 4th / 5th” child blow my mind! How?!

I agree with this. Same.

You can’t “leave them to get on with it” regarding university. It’s not 1993. If you don’t support they can’t go.

You do you I guess but both mine are academic and enthusiastic and it would break my heart just to say “nah” to university! Don’t know any parent that’s done that.

Also the way the economy is for that generation they are getting way more help as young adults. I know of people remortgaging to heirs own house to buy their child’s first flat.

@JuliettaCaeser because some posters don’t realise how expensive university can be! It’s pretty hard for students in some areas to get part time jobs, so telling them to pay for it themselves (and ignoring the Government’s expectations that parents pay the shortfall) is not realistic

Likely teens. We are nearly at age 12 and I’ve noticed an increase. I find I’m shopping in JD Sports more often, he has an iPhone and I pay £15 a month for his SIM. He has big feet so trainers can be £80. He’s off to grammar school soon so that’ll be a return train journey every day.. and probably £20pw pocket money.

However, he is a phenomenally behaved child. He flew through his 11+ and he helps out at home (hoovering, mopping, dishwasher, walking the dog) so I don’t mind.

His 4yo sister is inexpensive. She is very typical of her age and likes £1 bath bombs from Primark. Appreciate this will change.

It does feel like a lot of posters still think we are in the 90's when it comes to university costs.

For us it’s now that they’re young adults. The uni years. They were both there at the same time for one year. That was 2.4K a month in accommodation costs alone. Hooray for them both choosing incredibly expensive cities to live in 😂 we also paid for driving lessons and cars which, due to Covid delaying the older one from starting meant we literally got one through their test, freed up the slot for the instructor and the second starter. Plus the cost of the car and insurance.
Driving lessons, test and car was optional of course but we wanted to give them (and had saved to be able to do so) better opportunities - being able to drive meant they could work further away and had more choice of what they did and could get themselves there independently.

Mine have jobs and are both grafters but it’s still not enough. Plus we are happy for them to spend some of their wages on travel like we did.

i don’t understand the “get a loan crowd”. They have either not had a child at university or maybe are very low income and get government help. Pretty much everyone we know is paying significantly for uni. Unless granny steps in (sadly not in our case!)

Yes, both are graduates, one has an Oxbridge Masters. Their jobs are in the arts in London and their pay is very low.

It really is difficult for young people. You need to be earning more than £60k to be able to rent your own studio flat. They are still in house shares in less desirable areas.

So I bung them money for holidays and treats. It’s my choice obviously.

University.
im helping with that and also paying for childcare for our baby.

the university costs are definitely higher then the childcare bill.

Teenagers, from 13 onwards I think.

School uniform
moving into adult clothes and shoe sizes
no more kids meals in restaurants
If you book hotels they often count as adults
hobbies are more expensive
travel costs for bus and train
residential school trips - yes, I know they are not mandatory but I find they offer something a family holiday can't
Braces and glasses/contact lenses

I find the only people who say children get more expensive are ones who didn’t pay the current extortionate nursery fees (either SAHPs or people whose children are much older). However expensive a teenager is, they’re not starting out from £14k a year before you’ve even bought them a single thing.

People who include university in the equation are being disingenuous as that isn’t part of childhood anyway, and supporting them financially at that point is both a choice (none of my friends’ or my parents did) and only the high earning parents need to significantly top up the loans/bursaries.

Same with driving lessons- only on Mumsnet do I see it expected that parents pay for driving lessons, cars and insurance (or provide enough pocket/birthday/Christmas money that the kids “pay themselves” for some of that). Everyone I know paid at least 50% of that themselves, if not the whole thing.

I was fortunate to never have needed paid childcare. The most expensive years were when the learned to drive and cars (we paid for each). Only the eldest is married, but that was a very expensive year. When his DD was born, we wanted to help, conservatively we spent £4,000 on equipment and supplies in the first year. We also put an amount into a trust and continue to buy all wipes and baby products and bigger things like a new car seat, highchair, etc. I choose to do this, obviously.
Only DD went to university (2DC did apprenticeships). We cannot afford to pay for everything, although it's still costing many thousands per year to make sure she has everything, can afford not to work and can come home fairly regularly.
I know parents that spend much less, but also ones that spend much more.
I never received a penny, bought all my own clothes, supplies, etc. from thirteen and moved out at seventeen, so yes, mine were more expensive when older, but that's how I wanted it to be.

This. We are lucky that we can pay towards uni costs but even DD's grocery bill has increased in the last 4 months and she shops at Lidl and Morrions.

Finding work is extremley hard, there is plenty of competition from people who are all year round in the towns and not just there for uni time. Lots of typical student jobs are now taken by people needing a second job.