When were your children most expensive?

[RoamingToaster]

I’ve noticed some people saying children are more expensive as they get older. Is that true for you? I’ve paid for nursery which is a lot so I’m hoping it’s not for me 😂. I’m curious what everyone’s experience has been.

Teens- once ds's feet hit size 11 and then 12 his cheaper trainers were no more...

Don't they have jobs?

Because if you have a 'high' household income (~£70K or 2x average wage) then they only get £5K maintenance loan and you have to make up the rest. If you're lucky and they live somewhere with cheap accomodation that's about £500pcm, if you're not it could be double that.

For us nursery was the most expensive, high fees plus we went PT so had a 20% drop in household income. At Uni we are paying out almost as much but are both working FT again and earn over double what we earnt back then.

Drving lessons and realising it’s cheaper to get them an old car to learn in than try to insure them for my (1 litre not fancy hatchback).
Uni loans didn’t cover even half the rent in our case. Not high earners either; we still didn’t qualify for the maximum loan amount. The course needed attendance on odd days which meant part time job options were limited.

Full time nursery definitely. University has been a drop in the ocean in comparison - costs a lot less per month than nursery did and I earn a lot more now so it hurts less.

A bit surprised by the "why are you paying for uni" comments. Unless you're below a certain income the student can only get minimum loan and it's definitely not enough to live on. Parents are supposed to top it up. It's not an option to borrow more.

Lol

the loans don’t even cover rent

Are you in London and a high earner? No funding available?

lol at paying £180 for trainers and £100 for a hoodie! If my teen needs trainers I’ll contribute £50 and he has to top up the rest. He has learned to use Vinted as he loves his brands and would never ask us to pay £100 for a hoodie. You are definitely spoiling them if you do much more. I love brands but they are a reward for hard work, not a given.

How do they pay for it themselves when they need to drive to be able to get a job other than casual babysitting?

I'm happy to pay for the music lessons and definitely don't consider that spoiling a teen.

Nursery, followed by uni (£1k+ each per month), followed by teenage years (£12 each per day for school bus, driving lessons etc).

We also hope to give substantial house deposits, so if you include that then mid-twenties would be the most expensive by a long way!

University

For me it’s now - uni is really expensive for one, the other is living at home doing an apprenticeship, and my ex contributes almost nothing.

Nursery was expensive but I managed to do things like compressed hours and creative WFH and so on, so I could make it work.

Uni is just £££££££ whatever you do.

Childcare years are mad expensive.

Beyond that it massively depends on your expectations /lifestyle and your child's personality.

A mate of mine finds her teen cheap, he's not fussed about branded gear or expensive tech, never really got into high cost hobbies he just likes running and cycling both are which can be done largely free.

By contrast you'll find loads on here will tell you their teen costs a fortune in horseriding lessons /dance classes and comps/ iphones/ the latest Nike trainers/skincare and beauty/private tutoring to get them ahead in school.

There are choices and your own lifestyle comes into it

uni

Teenage years for me. £70 per month bus pass, money on the school dinner account goes fast, probably average about £60 per month on that, gym membership which to be fair is the same I spent on primary school activities anyway, clothing is a lot more expensive, days out cost more as I did a lot of free things with them when they were little, mobile phone payments, Spotify subscription. I worked in a nursery when they were early years and had a decent discount, the fees were a lot cheaper in general anyway back then. DH and I also had a day off each in the week so only needed 3 days.

😂😂😂

I assume the ones that think teens are expensive are SAHM and so they didn't have nursery fees (never mind that losing an entire salary and pension contributions for 18 years is more expensive than any nursery). Or maybe I'm lucky that mine aren't greedy. We've paid for plenty of sports clubs and music lessons etc but clothes and phones etc have not been expensive here.

childcare was a big expense when she was a baby/toddler, however, hobbies now at almost 13 cost the same and sometimes more than her childcare did.

She dances for 6 hours a week, including some private 121 lessons, had tennis coaching and has applied for a specialist dance training programme (wants to dance professionally) which if she passes the audition is about £1000 for a 28 week course (on top of her weekly 6 hours of classes, exams and shows) and that doesn't include the bespoke uniform she will have to have. They do allow it to be paid monthly (thank god).

I am dreading university fees!

Bingo!

I actually get the universal hours for the older one now, so it’s actually split more like £1700 / £2300.

I can’t feasibly see how they could be more expensive really, without using private education.

They could walk or use public transport. Do you realise there are a lot of adults in full time employment who don't drive?

Mine are currently 6 and 10 and pretty cheap. Both same sex and ambivalent about clothes and wear hand me downs. Both do a cheap sport and scouts so only about £50 per month each in clubs. Music instrument lesson through school. They are their happiest in a park or up a tree.
0-4 was expensive due to mat leave and nursery fees. Thankfully 4 years between them so only paying for one at a time.
Teenage years are almost upon us and at least one will need dental work. I'll not be pushing uni and if they want to we live in a city with 4 and another 4 commutable.
Thankfully both know the value of money so don't ask for a lot.

University without a doubt

Loans don’t cover the cost! DD got 5k maintenance loan. Accommodation was £7500 pa. Get saving!

Same.

The loan doesn't is just over 5k. Accommodations is upwards of 8K. Parents are expected to make up the short fall and support living costs. We've told our daughter that we will cover her accommodation, she will have to live off her loan and if she wants extra she will need to work. But there is no way she could support herself through uni and the demanding degree she is planning without parental support.