When were your children most expensive?

[RoamingToaster]

I’ve noticed some people saying children are more expensive as they get older. Is that true for you? I’ve paid for nursery which is a lot so I’m hoping it’s not for me 😂. I’m curious what everyone’s experience has been.

I did say that most of these things were optional.

I spend on hobbies because I think it's good for him, a healthy way to spend time and a diversion from other things that teenagers might get up to.

The clothes and leisure spends are because his peers have them, I don't want him feeling left out or left behind. It not unlimited, We do sometimes say no, but if we have the money then thats okay, it would be different scenario if we didn't have it. It would feel mean to say no just for the sake of it when his friends all have these things - and they really do! Most get far more than my ds does. He's not spoilt or ungrateful at all.

The op asked the most expensive stage, and for us it's now. He's 16 yet so can't get a part time job yet either.
Food shoo isn't exactly something I can cut back on too much, he needs to eat.

Really what can £50 buy though? Train ticket into nearest town is £14. A cheap t-shirt is what £20? There's no way all clothes, travel and outings can be done on £50 unless you never go anywhere.

Lots of simplistic judgement here I see.

£50 a month is ridiculous.

Baby - Toddler years expensive due to childcare/nappies etc
5 - 14 ish average expenditure
14 - 18 Increasingly expensive, due to more materialistic wants e.g. specific brands.
18+ - The uni years. Good grief, almost bankrupted me. Having two go through very close together was challenging (even with them getting jobs/savings)
Launching them into adulthood 😭

Wouldn't change them for the world. Worth their weight in gold.

Apart from some clothes at Xmas, my 17 year old last bought clothes in October. Luckily he stopped growing a while ago. He walks most places but train into London with his railcard is £8.50, more like £3 to local towns. He’s a pretty cheap date for outings - crazy golf with friends last week, getting food in town a few weeks earlier, he tends to get the train somewhere and go for long walks with the os map! If they buy a lot of clothes and travel with railcards is more expensive I can see it adds up, but it’s not unreasonable.

No nursery charges here but I did pay for private elementary.

As far as feeding and clothing, I'm glad I had only one boy because when DS was aged 13 to 15 he had a hollow leg and his feet grew three sizes per year, topping out at the biggest men's shoe size you can get before you have to fork out for custom made shoes. He grew north and south too, but footwear and in particular footwear for his three sports was a huge expense.

Mine went to university in the US and had financial aid plus small education loans which they paid off. Depending on which university you go to and what your family financial situation is, the US can be much cheaper for university than the UK.

It really does depend. Nursery is huge. The basics like clothes and food get much more expensive as they move into teen years. Going on holiday goes from a cot in the room and sat on your lap on the plane, to paying for another flight and eventually another flight and room. And you can spend a fortune on hobbies and educational camps, etc. as they get older if you are prepared to - but that's not something you have to do.

Probably the biggest expense is forgone wages unless you have massive amounts of free, flexible, family care and both you and DH lean into your careers as much as you would have done without kids and that is big in the stay at home years, but as you get older and forgo promotions etc. the missed pay rises year on year could end up being a bigger loss than even whole years out at the start of it.

We've not had to pay for much childcare as a family, so the most expensive years for us were when our children were at University and we paid their rent (currently £600 per month for child no. 2).

Pahahaha! Tuition fees are covered by loan but the maximum loan they're allowed doesn't cover the cost of accommodation never mind food, travel to campus, clothing.

Secondary school onwards for our children. They went to private school for secondary school so fees were a big expense along with all the extras. They got into more expensive clothes and tech. One has a very expensive hobby with equipment and travel. Thousands on orthodontic treatment. Driving lessons, car and insurance. Oldest is now at university and has worked part time, but he has been doing a voluntary placement year for experience which has left no time to work to earn money this year so far. Our next child is due to go to uni soon.

The nursery years were far cheaper for us.

£300 a year on music lessons for my teen pales into insignificance when our nursery bill was £650 a month or so back in 2013/14 (and he wasn’t full time). Definitely nursery years.

Twins here so it’s never not been expensive 😬 uni years definitely comparable to the preschool years, but this ends next month and I can’t wait 😅

Teenage years. My oldest is 15 and I pay quite a bit for her playing volleyball and when she's in post-16 education I'll have to pay accommodation for her near her school, continue paying volleyball costs if she finds a new team there and help out with food costs - that is going to be very expensive!

A 7 year old small not fancy but safe car for my 17yo DS, nine months of driving lessons, and tests - one theory and two practical - has cost me somewhere in the region of £10k - prob. a bit more. I balk but it’s only going to get more expensive so it’s best to get it out of the way asap. I am so pleased it’s over though!

The school fee years for us. DD’s last three years at a top level private which coincided with my stopping work due to cancer were difficult. Uni works differently here (Aus) - mine lived at home and fees were covered by HECS, a government loan scheme where you pay back once your earnings hit a certain level. All mine worked through Uni as well so our costs were as generous as we wanted to be (paying phones, gym memberships etc.). One did a Masters straight away so we subbed him for longer but he didn’t have expensive tastes.

Well it depends where you live, but if you live on campus in central Manchester and do maths you don't need one, do you? None of my nieces and nephews who are university age have one, or a licence. It's not an essential parental expense like loan topups. I think this might be a Mumsnet thing, the paying of driving lessons and the buying of a car.

Possible exception if you're a vet.

We only got a car a few years ago, there's no way I'd be furnishing a student with one!

The most expensive bit for me is 16-21 years.

You have to pay transport to college - £300 per term for bus pass. You have to take them to part time jobs (fuel and time), driving lesson help ( they do most themselves but have to help occasionally-£90 for two hours now). As a single parent I get UC for them, this ends when they leave education. This doesn’t mean they are immediately self supporting and need time to find full time work so you have to support them on your earnings while adjusting to lower income into the home.

I never used childcare when they were small so had no nursery or wrap around costs.

University. £1400 a month for two lots of rent alone!

They can get part time jobs to help pay for it. You shouldn’t be footing the whole bill

Nursery years definitely at approx £1k pcm even 15 years ago

there’s a LOT of spoiled teenagers on this thread!!

My ds15 got a job to pay for his driving lessons. He applied to over 100 before he got one as he really wanted to. He gets all his clothes off Vinted. He pays for his own socials.

my ds20 is at uni on minimum loan so I top up £500 pcm and he also works a part time job and saves from holiday work too.

OP nothing has been more expensive than the nursery years if you raise teens with a work ethic!

We didn’t foot the whole bill. DDs worked in part time jobs from 16/17 and DD1 worked in uni holidays to cover her socialising but we covered the shortfall in loan to rent and her travel expenses. The accommodation loan does not cover the costs. DD graduated 4 years ago and I was relieved when DD2 decided to take a different route without uni.
They both paid for driving lessons apart from first 5 and their provisional licences for their 17th birthdays which was well over £100. As DD2 didn't go to uni we contributed to her first car. DD1 lives in London so doesn’t need one but they both used mine to begin with.

Do you have kids at uni…? Loans don’t cover the costs of living at all. Even if students work (which most do) it’s expected and budgeted into how much they are offered as a loan that parents will help.

Nursery and then uni. Some respite in between 😂