When were your children most expensive?

[RoamingToaster]

I’ve noticed some people saying children are more expensive as they get older. Is that true for you? I’ve paid for nursery which is a lot so I’m hoping it’s not for me 😂. I’m curious what everyone’s experience has been.

DD is on her third timetable in her first year, no "reading week", very short holidays (3 weeks Christmas, 2 weeks Easter). So it is very unpredictable for her to do any fixed committments.

Most of the people she know who work do evenings and Saturday/Sunday but that eats into studying and being awake for lectures.

When they go into adult size trainers and their feet still grow every few months 😁

DD is 22 - the uni costs are absolutely crippling me as a single mum. Makes the teen years (which felt expensive!!) feel like a walk in the park. My wage is high enough that she gets the minimum loan amount and I’m expected to top her up, however £55k/year as a sole earner with a decent sized mortgage to pay really isn’t a lot. DD is doing an AHP degree and therefore is in uni/on placement pretty much full time, so her earning potential is very limited. She has a good 0 hours contract and works when she can at weekends and holidays but it just isn’t enough. As a result, it has been very stressful for us both and I haven’t been able to support her as much as she needs without dipping into credit cards.

For example - the cheapest 1st year student accommodation option still left her with a £1.5k shortfall before any other essentials like food, clothing, transport etc were accounted for. It’s such an unfair system.

Childcare years were probably most expensive but as it was a kind of set cost it didn't seem as much as now they are older. If they get into a sport and compete nationally/internationally that is expensive but is not a necessity obviously. School dinner money and general spends costs me a lot now as well.

@sittingonabeach @reluctantbrit I feel you. My eldest did a condensed course so no long breaks where they could work or save up more. Fees wise, it did save a bit. It’s almost impossible to make an informed choice without this information upfront isn’t it.
I grew up conditioned into thinking university was a place of learning whereas now I just view them as money making enterprises.
Need to take a car? (Course included a work placement, allocated anywhere within a one hour radius): Parking fees. Laundry room in halls: £8 a load.
Then don’t forget graduation. You’ve already handed over £30k and it’s another couple of hundred for tickets, gown hire etc. Photos are a similar price.

Uni, closely followed by nursery.

The bit in between hasn't been particularly expensive

Sorry but just wait until you are forking out £50k each to help them get on the housing ladder. What’s even more annoying is that I didn’t get any help with nursery costs, it didn’t exist 30 years ago.

Or you could just do what my mother in law did to DH and say I’m not signing any forms and contribute fuck all towards his education. It won’t be expensive then!

If folks think nursery is the most expensive period they are in for a shock!

Still not as expensive as nursery.

Each child in nursery from the age of 1 to 5 (September birth):
First 2 years at full cost: 12 months x £2k x 2 = £48k
Next 2 years with 15 free hours for over 3s: 12 months x £1.5k x 2 = £36k

Total nursery cost £84k per child.

Not everyone gets help with childcare costs.

It's not a competition though, we can agree that both early years and university years are bloody expensive.

You get that a house deposit and childcare costs are 2 very different things right….because it doesn’t sound like you do…

Childhood is typically bookended by two very expensive periods: childcare & further education.

20 odd years I was paying about £1,200 pcm per child for childcare; now I pay about £1,700 PCM per child for uni. Taking into account inflation uni is cheaper but, it’s for more years than I had childcare so I guess it evens out.

Young adult men and women also cost far more in food, clothes and entertainment than babies and toddlers.

£1700 per month on uni? Do your DC not have maintenance loans/part time jobs? That is an unnecessarily high amount

Childcare costs, as they are unavoidable unless you are prepared to sacrifice a salary and career of one of the parents.

Other things people have mentioned, don't need to be paid.

Obviously there will be individual circumstances to take into account, but, presuming you are talking people who don't have free childcare available to them.

Err yes, but the actual question is when were your children most expensive not how much do pay in childcare costs.
Doesn’t seem like you can read

No dear, I was pulling you up on your “just you wait” comment which is suggesting this is some thing you think everybody will be doing.

The child care years 0-11. We needed nursery, wraparound and holiday clubs. Somewhere in the region of 35k spent.

University for sure. Costing me over 1k a month. Her just over 4k of loan a year isn’t cutting it for some reason. 🤣🤷‍♀️

Yes. All of it. It's part of our IHT tax planning.

My parents also paid off our mortgage early. It was part of their plans too.

They are not eligible for maintenance loans and one did a course at a university where they couldn’t work and I made the decision to support them all equally rather than based on needs.

both attend expensive (in terms of accommodation) universities in the south.

Accom in London approx 400/week plus 200/week living expenses is 600/week so 2400/month for 40 weeks ish. If as I've discovered English students can only get the minimum loan that leaves an awfully big shortfall

Definitely the 35 to 45 year old age group is the most expensive so far. Hoping it drops off a bit now.

make sure she is claiming her NHS bursary.

14-18
pocket money, phone, bus fairs, dinner money came to about £60 a week plus clothes, uniform, school trips, increased cost of holidays.

No NHS bursary in NI unfortunately! Nurses and AHPs have no tuition fees here which is a bonus as she’ll have far less debt when she graduates. It doesn’t help much in the meantime when most of them aren’t getting enough of a maintenance loan to live off however