How would you solo-celebrate your 50th birthday?

[50andFeelingUnloved]

For reasons that are too long winded and too identifiable to write, I feel really let down that my loved ones have not planned anything for my imminent 50th birthday, despite them talking about it for months.

Usually, due to being a lone parent for almost 20years, my birthday has been a minimal affair, but this one was talked about as being a big deal and important, and I was looking forward to celebrating. I have adult children, and plenty of good friends from different facets of my life, but it appears I will be spending it on my own, with the dog.

I am so overwhelmingly sad about this. And this emotional response was, in itself, confusing me because historically, I haven't been upset that my birthday was a minimal affair. I now recognise that it is because I feel it serves as a mirror to how people view/value me. I feel unloved and like I don't matter to anyone, that I just live to serve other peoples needs but am not a priority for anyone, or worth celebrating. My logic brain knows this is not wholly true but my emotional brain is fighting logic real hard.

I'm now being offered breadcrumbs and maybes.
I've thrown my toys out of the pram and told them not to organise or do anything, that I don't want a pity party.
I've decided that I am NOT sitting at home on my own and I will plan something special to do on my own.
But I'm struggling to come up with feasible ideas, things I've considered and got excited about vary but either have a minimum of two people, aren't available that weekend or just cost too much money-which I struggle to spend on myself.

So I'm asking for suggestions of what you would do in a similar situation to see if I can be inspired.
Please don't say spa day, but I'm quite open to other ideas.
The dog can be part of it, but can also be cared for elsewhere.

Leave the dog and go on a sleeper train to Scotland or Penzance? An experience all by themselves plus a trip somewhere new.
Or go on a narrowboat course?
Narrowboat Escapes Training - Narrowboat Escapes https://share.google/gdNKvi8XyIHqp0unx

I haven’t read the whole thread but have you considered the Northumberland coast? Wide expanses of beach and plenty of coastal walks plus other interesting places to visit.
whatever you do I wish you a happy birthday 🥳

Yes, I read all your posts very carefully. There's a difference between you telling them "well get on with it then!" and going off by yourself in a huff. Maybe you really do need to tell them what you told us abut a park get-together, I'm guessing that if they've never done anything for your birthday before they don't even know where to start. And of course I wouldn't like the surprise party/wrong clothes and I'd probably have words afterwards but I'd make the best of it at the time.

Anyway, I hope you find something nice to do by yourself.

How about horse riding and fishing in Portland?
Some links below!

http://chesilequestrian.co.uk/about-us/

https://www.snapperweymouth.com/fishing-trips/

https://www.thepennestate.co.uk/the-estate/the-front-rows/

I haven't read everything / sorry / am rushing but just wanted to say I know how you feel and it's hard when you're on your own and have been stoical in the past.
anyways - I was thinking (depending on budget) how about a drive to north wales and all the way down the west coast and stay in some cute pubs or air bnbs that take dogs?
I've done this before and driven across the centre too and it was phenomenal especially if you have a nice car. Or hire a nice car and do it in that!
celebrate yourself but also say to your family you'd love a picnic lunch when you're back. Try not to be be upset - it's not worth it xx

Maybe it's that your nearest and dearest SAY they're not doing anything but are actually planning a big suprise..?

I think there's a big gap between "my family don't care at all" and "my family have arranged a party for me for my big birthday".
As I think I posted up thread, I am organising my own big birthday (my DCs are younger than yours, but I wouldn't expect my DB or my DPs to organise something for me, it's my birthday so if I want to do what I want, I have to organise it, same with invitees).
There is also a huge gap between "I am worthless/nobody cares about me/think I'll go and eat worms" and "my family have organised a huge surprise party with everyone I have ever known, I am such a social butterfly".
I have experience of my own DM repeatedly telling everyone "nobody cares about me, I'm so worthless" and becoming frustrated and annoyed with people when they do not follow her every whim. I am afraid I see some of her in what you are saying.
If you want to spend your birthday with your family, organise it. Bad luck that one DC will be away but do something with the others. See the one who will be away at a later date (we have celebrated a post-Christmas birthday pre-Christmas because nobody could organise themselves for the post-Christmas date).
If you don't actually want to spend your birthday with your family, that is your choice, but it is not because you are unloved. It's because you haven't organised it that way.

I would take a train somewhere a couple of hours away, book into a spa hotel, see a show or exhibition, have a takeaway or a nice meal out (eating by yourself can be fun if you pick the right place).

I don’t think being in the midlands would stop me going to the seaside.

Id just get up early, take breakfast in the car and get on with it - depending where you are there should be coast within 2.5 hours drive or so.

Could your budget stretch to one night in an air bnb (I’ve recently booked one somewhere for £55) then you could go early the one day, stay over and enjoy the next day there too (dog walk followed by the best Sunday roast in the area would be my choice!)

Bet they’re not dog friendly though.