How would you solo-celebrate your 50th birthday?

[50andFeelingUnloved]

For reasons that are too long winded and too identifiable to write, I feel really let down that my loved ones have not planned anything for my imminent 50th birthday, despite them talking about it for months.

Usually, due to being a lone parent for almost 20years, my birthday has been a minimal affair, but this one was talked about as being a big deal and important, and I was looking forward to celebrating. I have adult children, and plenty of good friends from different facets of my life, but it appears I will be spending it on my own, with the dog.

I am so overwhelmingly sad about this. And this emotional response was, in itself, confusing me because historically, I haven't been upset that my birthday was a minimal affair. I now recognise that it is because I feel it serves as a mirror to how people view/value me. I feel unloved and like I don't matter to anyone, that I just live to serve other peoples needs but am not a priority for anyone, or worth celebrating. My logic brain knows this is not wholly true but my emotional brain is fighting logic real hard.

I'm now being offered breadcrumbs and maybes.
I've thrown my toys out of the pram and told them not to organise or do anything, that I don't want a pity party.
I've decided that I am NOT sitting at home on my own and I will plan something special to do on my own.
But I'm struggling to come up with feasible ideas, things I've considered and got excited about vary but either have a minimum of two people, aren't available that weekend or just cost too much money-which I struggle to spend on myself.

So I'm asking for suggestions of what you would do in a similar situation to see if I can be inspired.
Please don't say spa day, but I'm quite open to other ideas.
The dog can be part of it, but can also be cared for elsewhere.

I’ve always wanted to stay in one of these and whitstable is lovely https://www.whitstablefishermanshuts.com/

I love walking so in your shoes I'd do a 3 day walk, including the dog. Lots of companies now offer a service where they'll take your things onto the next overnight stop (usually a nice pub) so you just need a day pack. Can't think of anything nicer than 3 days walking on my own (bar the dog) and it should be doable within your budget.

But a lot will be well within that budget. I'm surprised that the OP says she can't find anything within that range for a night or two away at the coast with the dog.

That's awful they said they would do something and then not. That would be it for me if even my DC did this. When their birthdays come around don't do anything for them.

If you'd like the sea I loved Brixham. It's quite small but it has a lovely harbour and places to eat.

I hope you go away. I equally hope you go away by packing your bag, taking the dog and leaving the house without telling them.

Do something, no matter how small each month! That's what I'm doing!

Where do you live (just roughly, obviously) and what do you like doing, aside from crafts? If it was me, I would either go to Stratford Upon Avon for the weekend and see a play at the RSC or go to Hay on Wye for the weekend and visit all the bookshops.
Definitely find a dog sitter, you’ll have more options without him and he’ll be delighted to see you when you come back, which is always a nice feeling.

Happy Birthday.

sorry everyone has made you feel like that. I had a terrible 50th too and I no longer want to celebrate my birthday each year.

things I did do for my 50th though that have been great are all things for myself. I bought myself something I saved up for, I read 50books that year , 50 other hobby related things.

Im also trying to do 50things that improve my life, im only on 15 so far but each time it’s nice to add another.

There's a Facebook group called Petsitters UK. Free accommodation offerings all over the UK in return for petsitting , and also petsitters introducing themselves and looking for sitting opportunities. Some sits allow you to take you own dog as well. Worth trying as it keeps costs down and more money for fun stuff..

If you could leave your dog behind with someone looking after it, that would open up more opportunities, like people in cities and flats with indoor cats for example (like me).

Make your birthday what you want, and enjoy spoiling yourself!

I'd go to Eastbourne. The Vue Hotel is great and can be very good value (it isn't a looker from the outside but don't let that put you off). It was built as a conference hotel so there are lots of good, comfortable single rooms, many of which have sea view balconies. There are great walks up and down the coast, excellent restaurants and the Towner art gallery. There is also a bus service to Brighton via Beachy Head. I go, alone, for at least a couple of days every summer and always come back feeling revived. There is just enough to do and still time to spend sitting on the balcony, staring at the sea, doing my cross stitch or reading.

I’d book a couple of days at a lovely cottage by the sea. Take all my favourite foods/snacks (for me and the dog), have fish and chips on the beach and go for some nice coastal walks.

Oh sorry OP, I’ve just seen your latest comment about cost. What about a day at the coast or lake (depending where you live)? Can still get some fish n chips or have a nice lunch somewhere and the dog will love spending the day with you.

How about Edinburgh?

Aww op i do hear you, but maybe others are waiting to hear what you want to do, and don't want to overstep

My 50th birthday was in lockdown so I had fish n chips on the beach in Whistable which does have some lovely looking places to rent . Airbnb does allow you to search pet friendly places although there are Facebook groups you could join for dog friendly holiday accomodation - give them your dates and see what’s around. I’m off to Folkestone which I’ve never visited before. It has a creative quarter and quite a few independent shops and restaurants. I’m also quite keen to check
out what’s happening in Margate since Tracy Emin moved back and started throwing money at the place.

I had a solo 50th two years ago. My birthday is right in the middle of summer and both girls were away with their dad in India visiting his grandparents. It was ok and they left presents etc for me, but it still felt lonely. Coupled with that was the fact that my beloved dog had died two weeks before so the loneliness was even more intense and coupled with overwhelming grief. Anyway, the day was a bit shit but I decided that for my 50th year I would buy myself a piece of jewellery every month for a year. And I did. None of it was massively expensive - just around £100-£200 but it felt like I was giving myself a present each month. Oh and then when the girls returned home we bought a new puppy 😆

what is your budget? I would book a few days at the body holiday in st Lucia solo, or join a tour group somewhere cool like south east Asia.
the glasshouse retreat in Essex is a great reset.
you could also book a lovely hotel in London and go to the theatre and shops .
or you could book a photo shoot day like a boudoir one when they do your hair and make up and make you look and feel very sexy!
you could also make it a reset day and book a home organizer to help you sort out all your clutter.
a cooking lesson at the school of wok in London is a fun solo activity I’ve done.
you could also sky dive?!

If you want to take dogs then a seaside hotel and long walk on the beach with him/ger?

Just saw you love the sea - there’s a dog friendly hotel on the north Cornwall coast called Bedruthan. It is lush and not hideously expensive and often has craft/arty workshops. I stay there a lot when I’m working in the area, it’s such a treat.

Berlin! Cheap flights and accommodation. Super easy to get round. Everyone speaks English so no stress if there is a problem. You can travel on anything with your day pass and plenty of good food around. Enjoy it and when you come back and see it as the start of prioritising yourself more.

Missed your update - sod the money and go and stay at Burgh island for the night. Watch some Agatha Christie while there and enjoy the sea. Your family can contribute!

Sorry if it’s appeared earlier but a RYA inland waters course as prep for owning a narrow boat? www.rya.org.uk/course-finder/inland-waterways-crew-course/

Which areas are you looking in?how about an Airbnb cottage by the sea?

Is book myself on a cruise. It's ap easy to do that yourself. You'll be entertained, be able to watch shows , eat in nice restaurants. Visit somewhere new every day

I went on a stained glass course for a weekend. Two pretty full days with a few other people doing something interesting. Airbnb for one - nice food and wine. Honestly living the dream.

If you miss the sea, why not try Rye or Hastings (nearby and cheaper to stay). It has the benefit of being close to some lovely gardens - Great Dixter and Sissinghurst - so when you tire of the sea you can go and look at beautiful flowers.

People have already mentioned Brixham and Burgh Island (though expensive), both of which I love.

Have you considered:
Lyme Regis or Charmouth - both lovely, and you can book guides to take you fossiling.
York/Bath/Oxford/Cambridge: brilliant museums and beautiful cities.
Catching a sleeper train to Cornwall or Scotland
Walking some of the Ridgeway. There are lovely walks around Maiden Castle, the Uffington White Horse, and Wayland's Smithy.
Doing a tour of national trust houses and gardens.
Following in the footsteps or a favourite literary or TV character.
New activities. Glass making, Blacksmithing, stone carving, Archery, Lino cut printing, cookery, fishing, watercolour painting, joining an archaeological dig, joining a writer's retreat, a tai chi or yoga retreat, or learning to meditate.
Finding a show or performance you want to see somewhere and booking a weekend around that.
Going to a festival. Chalke History festival, or York festival of Ideas. Cheltenham science festival. How the Light Gets In or the Hay Literary Festival at Hay on Wye.

Whatever you do, I hope you have a lovely time.