How would you solo-celebrate your 50th birthday?

[50andFeelingUnloved]

For reasons that are too long winded and too identifiable to write, I feel really let down that my loved ones have not planned anything for my imminent 50th birthday, despite them talking about it for months.

Usually, due to being a lone parent for almost 20years, my birthday has been a minimal affair, but this one was talked about as being a big deal and important, and I was looking forward to celebrating. I have adult children, and plenty of good friends from different facets of my life, but it appears I will be spending it on my own, with the dog.

I am so overwhelmingly sad about this. And this emotional response was, in itself, confusing me because historically, I haven't been upset that my birthday was a minimal affair. I now recognise that it is because I feel it serves as a mirror to how people view/value me. I feel unloved and like I don't matter to anyone, that I just live to serve other peoples needs but am not a priority for anyone, or worth celebrating. My logic brain knows this is not wholly true but my emotional brain is fighting logic real hard.

I'm now being offered breadcrumbs and maybes.
I've thrown my toys out of the pram and told them not to organise or do anything, that I don't want a pity party.
I've decided that I am NOT sitting at home on my own and I will plan something special to do on my own.
But I'm struggling to come up with feasible ideas, things I've considered and got excited about vary but either have a minimum of two people, aren't available that weekend or just cost too much money-which I struggle to spend on myself.

So I'm asking for suggestions of what you would do in a similar situation to see if I can be inspired.
Please don't say spa day, but I'm quite open to other ideas.
The dog can be part of it, but can also be cared for elsewhere.

Currently googling weekend retreats....

Well, what do you like doing? What sort of places make you feel happy? What do you want to do but never have time for.,

The London tour buses are brilliant. I took a couple when I lived there, and still learned a lot! 3 nights would break your budget, though. Can you get to London easily?

If not - which part of the country are you in?

How about seeing the Hockney exhibition at the Serpentine?
His paintings are so uplifting and cheerful.

www.serpentinegalleries.org/about/press/david-hockney-a-year-in-normandie-and-some-other-thoughts-about-painting/

I come up against this often as I'm single off the back of a relationship that ended horribly and have quite a hard-nosed family. Book yourself an amazing holiday cottage for a weekend (or a nice hotel for a city break if that's more your thing). Buy yourself some lovely flowers and take yourself out to dinner or order a really nice takeaway. Go to the theatre/opera/cinema; go to the art museum; go to the botanical gardens. Book a course for something that excites you - painting or sculpture or bookbinding, something like that. It sounds silly but buy yourself some birthday presents and either order them gift-wrapped or wrap them in nice tissue paper in advance. Buy yourself a book and then go to a swish hotel lounge, order a drink and read it. I did various combinations of all of these things alone for my birthday, for valentine's, and to celebrate getting a new job and I was glad that I did.

Happy birthday in advance 💐

Please consider an overnight stay at the Beamish Hall Hotel and spending the day at Beamish Open Air Museum in Durham

I’d book a Lakeland hotel for just you and the dog. I did that one February and had a brilliant couple of days away!

Seriously though, I’d never let someone else plan my special birthday. I’m 60 this month and am taking DH and my grown up kids on holiday. If I’d have let them plan it, I might not have liked what they came up with.

I’d book a holiday and go and have a lovely relaxing time.

personally I’d never let anyone plan my birthday, I’m celebrating a big birthday this year and I’ve planned a big family holiday with my adult children and their partners.

I wouldn’t let anyone plan my birthday as I know I want to be sipping cocktails in the sun with my nearest and dearest!

Wrong day.

If you want a specific suggestion, I'd book a nice airbnb in Bath for a couple of nights. I'd spend an afternoon at the spa, and then visit the Roman baths and a few other historical sites. A nice dinner in a restaurant one night, and then I'd just stay in with some good TV or a book the other night. It's a nice city to wander around (albeit hilly) and easily accessible by train.

You have my sympathy @50andFeelingUnloved I have a DH and make sure his significant birthdays are special. He claims he doesn’t know how to do this for me. Had to be guilted to arrange anything for my 50th. No other family (old enough) to do it.
Lots of places do crochet workshops inc at Hobbycraft and local knitting etc type shops. Could you combine one with a city break? London is great, but so is Edinburgh, York, Cardiff and Chester.

*if you post destination ideas here I’m sure people could give you local info and suggestions

I'm sorry your family have let you down this time. That feels rubbish. Hopefully you will enjoy planning a break so much it will take the sting out of it.

I'd probably go to the sea ( you said you live and miss it) - how about walking a part of the SW coast path? Choose a nice Airbnb or lovely hotel. Have an indulgent breakfast and a good walk, make sure you end at a nice town with a gallery or a farmers market that day. Do a bit of research and see which place takes your fancy. Choose some lovely treats and enjoy eating, buying, reading and watching whatever you fancy. Have a lovely swim too! Or take a boat ride.

Or a city break like Bath, York, Canterbury or Shrewsbury. How about a jewellery workshop? Make yourself a celebratory 50th ring or bracelet!

I like the sound of the retreats too. Guess it depends on how sociable you want to be as I imagine on a creative retreat you might end up making friends and having to chat. Which is fine, but personally I would go alone and fully relax doing whatever I wanted.

I went to the Caribbean with my bestie.

I’d go for a short break by the water, you’ve mentioned water a few times. I’ve done that for my birthday before (short break, not the water part) and there was something so lovely about doing totally my own thing and just pleasing myself for a couple of days. Take the dog if it suits, if not then don’t!

I know it feels rubbish that you’ve been let down and I’m totally not minimising it - but alongside this there is opportunity. My birthday short break started with my desire to go on a plane (my most favourite thing ever) and slotted all the other bits in between that.

Sorry to read this. If I have missed it, apologies, but how old are your children?

Take yourself off to the seaside. North Wales or Northumberland won’t break the bank. Book a dog friendly hotel and download a list of things to see and do, and treat yourself to some delicious meals and a cocktail or two.

@50andFeelingUnloved I'm sorry you're upset. It's the tyranny of the birthday ending in 0 isn't it? We all feel it should be special and marvellous then when it isn't we're disappointed.

If I were you and prepared to drive then I would head for Bamburgh in Northumberland. The beach was just glorious. I had a very quick look at hotels and some said they were pet friendly so you could take the dog. Beach walks with the dog - brilliant!

I would also combine it with a visit to the open air museum at Beamish (they're about an hour apart) Truly fascinating and engrossing.

Then if you've got any money left in the budget after paying for Saturday night accommodation you could maybe add in a pottery workshop for example.

Have fun planning it and have a great weekend!💐

PS If it's getting to be too much of a bother sorting it out then why not resort to AI to do the heavy lifting?

Early morning Eurostar to Paris, wander the flea markets in the north, have an incredible lunch somewhere posh, relax or sightsee in the afternoon, big glass of wine and then train back to London.

I went for a three week solo holiday, travelling round the Mediterranean for my 50th.

It's hard to suggest somewhere for a weekend without knowing your location, but places like York, Durham, Edinburgh, Brighton are all lovely for wandering, nice food and interesting places to visit.

I have a favourite shop/ art gallery that always puts me in a good mood, then to my childhood park and cafe but op I do think you should speak to your kids again, people are just busy, I’m not sure it’s a sign of anything more than that (from someone who has cut people off on their birthday for similar reasons then missed my sisters 50 due to work, being in a bad headspace and other things that made me rethink things)

How about overnight to Paris or Madrid or some other city with world class Museums.

If you came to my city I’d invite you for lunch.

I would book myself a day workshop of something creative - for my 40th I was given a day blacksmithing which was amazing. I would do glass blowing/jewellery making/leather work.
Or, I would book to see a show/musical because you don’t need anyone else to enjoy a show.

OP you need to give ideas of budget ,number of days away etc. all these PP suggesting exotic expensive weekends away ! And are you 💯 sure your family aren’t arranging a surprise for you?