Do 99% of men think about someone else while DTD?

[Salsa2026]

Just that really. Lots of people, here and in general say things like, “all men fantasise about other women during sex at the very least sometimes”. And when I say all I really mean the vast majority, as there can always be an exception to everything.

If it’s true I think it’s quite grim tbh and makes me glad I’m not in a relationship. I’d want a man to be all about me 🤣

I've referenced the fact that women do it too, a few times I think. At least once. I personally don't. That's where my perspective is coming from.

I think I think about them (it’s been a while)

but never them when I’m entertaining myself 😂😂

*I don’t want the only type of sex I ever have to be the type where we have to stare intensely into each others eyes and make love. I want to shag and fuck, I want quickies and sneaky in the laundry room I want kinky and filthy. Many times where I won’t be looking at my partners face or unable too.

I’m not going to give head staring into his eyes and frankly I’d find him trying to give eye contact while going down for desert very of putting.*

I'm quite happy for the staring into each others eyes, making love and the quick kinky fucks. I just want it with my partner thinking about me.

Also, a lot of men love you to make eye contact while going down on him. I mean, maybe not the entire time....

Yeah like I don’t mind a glance up at him but I’m not staring into his soul like a demon trying to steal it while sucking the sausage 🤣🤣 I might be draining something but his soul no.

The thing is unless your eyeballing each other and even then let’s face it they could still be thinking of anything. You won’t know. Staring into each other’s eyes is pretty much the most likely way to know they are not thinking of someone else but even so I can totally disassociate.

Hm do "think about me only me" women allow their partners to have female friends, I wonder...

I don’t see how I’ve been judgemental about anyone else; I don’t really care what anyone else does or accepts, I just know what I would want from a relationship.

Do you honestly believe that no man, and by no I mean vanishingly few, actually think about their own gf/wife during sex?

Ah that made me really sad to read that OP

you are worth far more than how men rate you 😔

I think lots do a lot of the time. However you’d have to be incredibly innocent or stupid to think they haven’t ever once even thought of someone else.

You can’t know for sure but surely you’d have some indication.

Yes but there are far more women in MN than men, and I do think in general that visual fantasies are more associated with men.

We all are of course, but I would rather not sleep with men who aren’t very attracted to me, and only see those who are.

I’m not sure you know - to me we women have much more imagination whereas they often need stimulation by way of pictures/porn

im quite able to make up and play out my own fantasies - if I had to donate I would t need magazines!! 😂😂

You don't seem to understand people are attracted to their partner but sometimes think of someone else. You seem to think it's all or nothing and it's making me suspicious you're just trolling because surely noone is so dense.

Of course that’s a given

i never had sex with any boys when I was adolescent - I seemed to have this innate feeling I would just be being a reciprocal - waited till I was in love😍😍

it could also have been my dad would have killed me if I got pregnant

actually my first boyfriend at 15-16 I didn’t either - I want as in to him as he was me

Might it be best to ask and find out, then if you aren’t compatible you can move on?

You probably aren't going to get an honest answer. He's not going to say yes if it means he loses out on sex.

A wise friend once told me, if a man says "no I HATE porn" what they actually mean is "I'll say whatever I think is most likely to result in some hot porn-style sex with the woman who asked this question."

I think the same principle applies here.

I mean thinking of someone else during sex. People can have a celebrity crush or whatever…. Fine. But needing or wanting to think of another woman while in bed with you? No thanks…. Yuk. And I don’t think that makes me dense at all. If you do think that then fine. I have standards and if they’re impossible then that’s also fine, I am happy to be single.

Men who are very attracted to you are most likely to be heterosexual and have high testosterone/a high sex drive/find other women attractive too. Men who aren't very attracted to you are more likely to be more on the asexual side and not very attracted to other women either.

You seem to think a man who is very attracted to you is LESS likely to be attracted to other women. I think someone very attracted to you is actually MORE likely to be attracted to other women than a man who isn't that into sex with you.

You are looking for something that isn’t there my love

it would be stifling for both of you - don’t you think?

through marriage up and downs - kids - lack of sleep - money worries - you would never fantasise about others even occasionally? Seems so unrealistic

That’s true…. Which is why it’s probably easier to filter out men who aren’t that into you before you even get into a relationship.

OP What inspired you to start this question thread?

Ah here we go. So what does a female friend have to do with a relationship? Should be nothing. There are boundaries in friendships.

I would think your partner would definitely assess your friends attractiveness - doesn't mean they would act on it or give it another thought

I think lots of women would not want the ‘porn style’ sex if it is some of the grim stuff out there that lots of men watch…

Most men have seen porn but not all are obsessed with it and watching it every day/every week. Probably most are nowadays but not all.