Do 99% of men think about someone else while DTD?

[Salsa2026]

Just that really. Lots of people, here and in general say things like, “all men fantasise about other women during sex at the very least sometimes”. And when I say all I really mean the vast majority, as there can always be an exception to everything.

If it’s true I think it’s quite grim tbh and makes me glad I’m not in a relationship. I’d want a man to be all about me 🤣

Oo i hope not

Then again, i dont want a man taking notice of my flabby bits so maybe its best hes distracted 😭🙈🙈🙈

Curiosity. Men fantasising and thinking of other women is an old stereotype…

I’ve been happily single for a number of years and don’t like to settle. When I did date, the men had chased me and made me feel wanted. But I suppose people on this thread are going to say, “oh they were just acting and were secretly wanting a different woman” 😂.

I would say that could well be the case. A man once told me how he would "go ugly"... thinking that she'd be more appreciative of the attention and more likely to have sex. He wasn't going to tell her that and obviously made her feel somewhat desired. Not sure if it worked every time.

I just asked my DH, he said no because he’s too focused on his performance

Oh God this is upsetting:-/ I mean I think men I go to bed with tend to be more into my personality than my appearance but I would be a bit troubled if any of them were secretly thinking yuck 🤣

OP I think you’re looking for romantic perfection - a man that looks at you and hears the song “you look wonderful tonight” and is mesmerised by you even after 3 kids - you can hang on for that but you may never get it - I had a friend like this who overly romanticised relationships - in the end she would give the men tests to see if they would drop everything to come to her when they were busy or miles away because that was her measure of love - all really unhealthy in my view

have you read about romance? it’s a made up fallacy - it was a movement - a social construct that a lot of men don’t even relate to and find uncomfortable and a test in itself

love is an action and it grows - your way better to have a criteria to find someone who knows that and doesn’t falter - they can still be your number one fan and have the odd thought about Jane down the road - it’s not disloyal - quite the opposite

😂😂😂😂. Oh that’s brilliant

can you go back and ask him and tell him to be honest - tell him it’s important research

What man has sex with a woman because she has an amazing personality?! While I'd like to believe they like us for more than sex, it's unlikely.

Nobody is doubting that men can really fucking love you and find you the most amazing person and want to fuck the shit outta you and only you.

Just that odds are at one point or another someone else might pop into their mind even by accident during sex.

I don’t ever decide to have sex and go oh yes let’s remember that really random thing I couldn’t remember earlier. It just happens sometimes.

I think that’s usually at the end of the night when we used to go discoing

at the end of the day one half of the species Needs to be less fussy or else we’d become extinct…

plenty..

Men find confidence the most attractive thing - especially sexual confidence (unless they need to dominate)

it’s us that put all this physical pressure on us

Eugh the old pull a pig thing 😬😬

I can agree with this but the vast majority of healthy heterosexual men, especially younger ones, have a high sex drive. But do they all have the same physical type? A heterosexual man who likes massive breasts is unlikely to be highly attracted to me and that’s fine, I wouldn’t want to sleep with him either.

I always think this is why dads are protective over daughters - they know what the men are thinking!

To be honest I don’t think I’m ‘ugly’..

Maybe he likes your “flabby” bits?

But I thought you were fine if they were picturing other women during…?

Oh don’t it just awful

don’t forget they were left at the end too!

Eh

Exactly hardly Adonis himself.

Can't the 2 co exist? The answer is yes, because most likely a high percentage of your partners have been not just attracted to you but very attracted, yet 100% they have also though of someone other than you and also you in a different scenario whilst having sex with you. As per your previous post of course men think of their partners whilst having sex with them, just not every second of the action. Sometimes he will be thinking purely of you.

You need to move on, because whether he admits it or not, it happens or in the miniscule chance that it doesn't, when you ask him about it, next time it will.

How old are you btw?

I’m not talking about romance and silly serenades or driving a thousand miles to see someone, no. I’m just talking about being fully into someone physically.

And why do you need that?

so that follows that being “fully into you” is
physical and not emotional?

whereas you sound like you need a very high emotional commitment

I am 30 and I’m single, so this question isn’t even triggered by a particular situation.

I wonder if you don’t turn it around - you want to be fully into them